Stymie said:

true..

LleeLlee said:

oh my god, i forgot about that

too funny...

Stymie said:

sometimes. but i also think that it would be attributed primarily to someone who is bull headed and would refuse to see the other parties point of view. Some people can be just hard to talk to.

In all seriousness, the only scenario I can think of that might explain the situation you described would be if one of your friends was mad at you for whatever reason, and then started talking shit about you to your shared friends/acquaintances...at which time some of those shared friends/acquaintances started pulling away from you as well. Chances are none of them would be up front with you out of not wanting a confrontation, as well as out of thinking they knew all they needed to know to draw conclusions (almost everyone is like this)...

Then again, I only know YOUR side of the story, so I'm sticking with the breath mints lol ...

NWF said:

But they're not saying anything to your face. They're avoiding you altogether. That's a message in itself. Even if that message is, they're not worth your time.

I agree it's better for them to communicate with you than not and that that's what they should do, but they're not.

Byron said:

that sounds right. if thats the case its too bad that some friends are sheep and follow what other friend says instead of making up their own minds.

heybaby said:

or maybe they were never a good friend to begin with and don't care enough to take the time to work on it. That sucks and definitely speaks more about them than who they are friends with, but it happens.

If someone's not willing to work on the friendship, they're probably not worth being friends with.

CarrieMpls said:

that to.

okay this thread is makin me sad

maybe it's time to make some new friends...

It could be anything. I wouldn't worry about it. just move on.

They're dumping you. Maybe they don't have a specific reason other than they just don't want to hang out with you anymore. It happens--cut your losses and move on.

My "friend" did this to me about a year ago, wouldn't return calls (which was very unlike him) nor emails. So after I found out he wasn't dead (b/c he wasn't returning calls) I let it go. He was an ass anyway.

It's happened to me also, and I happen to think I'm a very good friend. I know it's hard not to take personally, but sometimes you just have to remind yourself you've done everything you could but they didn't respond.

The only time I kick someone from myspace is if I get tired of them posting a million bulletins.
If I want to know about politician, I will subscribe to a news letter from them.
And no, I dont care about your fucking every breathing minute by minute play of your life.
Then I miss the bulletins from the people who only post them once in a while.

eraclito said:

I wouldn't go that far.

heybaby said:

I just want to clarify and say that I wasn't saying that you are like this NWF. I was just trying to figure out what other reasons it could be for them to be like this.

CarrieMpls said:

And that's actually the conclusion that I've come to.

See, I am who I am. New Wave/Punk-funk/weirdo/whateveryouwannacallme. If they can't take me as I am, then they must not be the friends that they've made themselves out to be. A lot of them come from the urban/Hip-Hop/street style, and that may conflict with some of the things that I believe in and like. But interests and personal qualities are 2 different things.

But let me state some facts: No, there weren't thousands of them. Only about 2 or 3. And yes, they all did hang in the same circle. We all used to be in a poetry club, but then we grew up, and moved into different things. I was the only one serious about music, which is what I decided to pursue. But I guess they didn't want to hang around either because of that or their own jealousy, or whatever.

Anyways, I'm pretty much over them. But it's just that at the time of the bomb dropping I was pretty upset at how they didn't keep it real with me and just kept acting flaky.

CarrieMpls said:

Me too - in the process right now with a few so called close friends. I know I am a good friend but people change and the waves of relationships can move us away from each other without any rhyme or reason. I am investing the time I used to spend on/with them into new and wonderful things as I hope they are as well. My life was good before them, good with them and good without them

heybaby said:

I mean, I ain't gonna say that I'm the best thing since sliced bread. But I'm a human being and I treat people the same way I wish to be treated. With kindness, sincerity, and respect. Perhaps there was something about me like a character flaw or something I did that rubbed them the wrong way and I may never know it. But a real friend would tell me if I did wrong. They didn't. They just kinda slowly eased their way out of my network. And it isn't like I'm jealous or possessive or anything. I just want to be accepted. All my life I've had a difficult time fitting in because I'm too weird or different.


Yeah, Heybaby, you're right, this is depressing.

New Wave Forever endorses Orbit gum!

NWF said:

My first thought is this person did or has been continually doing something not appreciated by the group of friends and have been deaf to cries for change. I say this esp since it's happened by more than one person.

If I was this person, I would reach out to person number 2 and see if I could get an answer. If that didn't work, I'd reach out to those that still consider me a friend (preferably in that circle). Of course, you can always buy a 6-pack and when you actually are in fromt of person number one, directly ask them. If all of that doesn't work, they can try sending a letter of apology and asking for a discussion in the matter.

I think the person KNOWS the reason this is happening and needs to look at if these are the kinds of friends they need to hang with.

LleeLlee said:

That they drank most of!

NWF said:

WHo's to say that they haven't said anything. Perhaps you weren't listening. That happens too.

Byron said:

that happened to me. I was having a terrible time in my life, due to a hellish roomate and boss, and a friend came out to visit. She interpreted my actions completely wrong and never talked to me about it (nor did my friend of 15 years look to see if anything was wrong). Went home talked shit about me to another friend and then they mustard up all of my friends for a conference phone call "intervention" to tell me what a jerk I was (during the middle of the other crap in my life) simply because one of my friends thought it was a good idea.

superspaceboy said:

Omg lol ...

But yeah, when we don't know what's going on, we tend to interpret each other's words and actions thru the filter of our emotions only...then run with it as fact a little too far sometimes. How did you deal with the "intervention"?? lol...(geez)

superspaceboy said:

when all they had to do was ask you if you were okay

heybaby said:

I can't make out whether or not your sig is telling someone that you love them "too", or if you're telling them you'd love for them to (fill in the blank) lol ...

Byron said:

its i love them to
[Edited 1/14/08 13:24pm]

Byron said:

I found out about it a day in advance. They had told my partner Casey, who knew all of the crap I was going through, and made me privvy to it. I was . Like "what did I ever do to so-and-so?" who I am aquaintence friends with. There were certianly people on that call who were living in glass houses, I thought. If I was really out of control, someone could have said something on other peoples behalf. I certainly don't think that my actions warrented any intervention. I know it was all well intended and all, but seriously, it started with really one person who is the closest to me out of all of the others. Instead of being mad at me, she ought to have talked to me about what was going on. I basically sat there on the phone and really didn't "give" them anything..mirrored what they said and all. I think they were miffed at what was to be an intervention turned out to be a waste of time.