So me and my bf were arguing about this. He swears up and down that there is a law that states, if a couple ends an engagement that the woman has to give the ring back. I have never heard this before. I say its common courtesy to give the ring back, but not mandatory. Has anyone else heard about this so called "law"?

Oh and by the way, this isn't about me and him, rather one of his friends and his fiancee just broke up, which is how we got on the topic.
[Edited 1/10/08 19:34pm]

When are you getting married?

luv4u said:

when the time is right, and that time is not now...obviously

missfee said:

I have never heard of such a law, I say keep it for sentimental reasons, and if he was a jerk..sell it on ebay.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

I don't think it's a law at all. I think it's just common courtesy or a custom passed down from generations.

okay here is something I found on About.com:

Engagement Ring Laws
From Sheri & Bob Stritof,
Your Guide to Marriage.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!
Who Gets the Ring?
Although etiquette rules that an engagement ring should be returned when a wedding is called off regardless of who broke the engagement, the legal system has differing opinions on this issue.
Some of the circumstances that determine if an engagement ring has to be returned include where you live, how you received the engagement ring, and who broke the engagement.


Conditional Gift States
Many courts look at an engagement ring as a conditional gift that is given in contemplation of marriage. If there is no marriage, then the engagement ring needs to be returned.

Iowa
Kansas
Michigan
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
Pennsylvania
WisconsinThe courts also have held in these states that the reasoning for no-fault divorces holds for no-fault broken engagements so an engagement ring should always be returned regardless of who decided to call off the engagement.


Implied Conditional States
In these locales, if the guy breaks the engagement, he won't get the ring back. If he doesn't break the engagement, he can request its return.

California
Unconditional Gift States
Other courts have held the belief that an engagement ring is an unconditional gift and so it doesn't need to be given back.

Montana
Family Heirloom Engagement Rings
If you are considering giving a family heirloom engagement ring, legal experts recommend having a prenuptial agreement that lists who will keep the engagement ring in the event of a break up.

oh chiiiiill


u gave me that ring so im keepin it. U want it back, u gotta fight me!

So I guess he was half right. It depends on which state you live in.

missfee said:

I was always told that the ring is a gift and the receiver has a legal right to keep it. But I can see different states having different laws.

Of course, I too believe etiquette says it should be returned.

CarrieMpls said:

Right, exactly!!! I just disagree with the fact that I "have" to return something because "it's the law", it should be my decision if I want to return the ring or not.

missfee said:

You can return it or behave like a **** . You choose.

I have friends who broke their engagement so many times the ring went back and forth like a ping pong ball. I think he asked her to marry him around 13 times before they stopped the nonsense and just got married already.

Why would you want to keep it anyway?

As someone who's currently engaged, if this doesn't work out, I don't give a shit about the money/ring.

Where's there's a woman who'd keep it if she calls it off, there's a man that just dodged a bullet.

The ring belongs to the woman. It was given to her. If she wants to return it, she can or she can pawn it and keep the money. It's hers.

A law??? It's a gift! If the dude decides he's gonna give a ring he can't expect to get it back, that's insane. If it's a mutual break up then the "right" thing for the woman to do is give it back, but we're not inclined to do that. And if he's a dick then damn right I'm not giving it back, I'll throw it in a river right in front of him then give him a mask and flippers and say "Fetch!".

CarrieLee said:

DanceWme said:

CarrieLee said:

Amen !!!!

it's fucking jewelry...

I'll never understand why so much drama is created over shiny things...

roodboi said:

I sold mine on ebay

roodboi said:

Because it's usually a very expensive piece of jewelry....

I saw on Judge Judy that she made a girl return the ring. She said that the ring is part of the agreement/deal of getting married. if the deal was broken, than the ring should be returned.

CarrieLee said:

true...

shiny expensive stuff...makes even more sense...

we're so fucking primal when it comes down to it...

"shiny rock...me like...me think rock is purdy...me pay many clam for shiny rock"

I think the rules should change, and the woman needs to give the man an engagement car

ArielB said:

That we can keep if we break up

roodboi said:

Me gave engagement ring.
No engagement, no ring.

ArielB said:

Redfeathers gave me a Haribo ring once. I've been putty in her hands ever since.

JDInteractive said: