Everyone needs to remember that when someone decides to have an affair there are reasons..it might not always agree with what you believe..but it happens.

ZombieKitten said:

See, if I were him that would've bugged me. To me it's all the same. That my wife is bi doesn't mean if she were to do what you did is ok simply because it's another girl. I would regard it as the same as if she kissed a guy. There's being faithful and devoted and there's not. My indiscretions go as far and not further than a or a on this very site. There's no way, even being faithful and devoted as I am, that I would even drink alone with a woman I know I find attractive. To me that's not behaviour befitting a married man. I want my wife to never worry about me in that way and I expect the same thing back.

MoniGram said:

It seems affairs always get found out.
And, even when appearing to be "forgiven".....has it's own retaliation.

either your all very moral or some of you are....fibbing!!!

jonylawson said:

it's nice to know I'm not the only one to notice that
[Edited 1/5/08 23:08pm]

I can't say I've ever understood people who cheat over long periods of time and still stay in a relationship. I mean, surely before you enter into a relationship with someone, especially if getting married, you give the whole thing some serious thought. It's a big commitment so it demands truth with yourself and you've got be absolutely sure you'd be happy to spend your life with someone. I know things can change and people do stray sometimes, but surely if it goes on and on it must become painfully obvious that the original relationship needs to end?

jonylawson said:

Everybody didn't answer, either. So the odds that everybody who answered is telling the truth. Could be.

jonylawson said:

I don't know about moral, I'm in the common sense mode, or a combination of the two. (Along with the inertia, towards the deception and lying.)
Most, who have posted about having affairs in other forums in the past, state their spouse found out. Some even told their spouse, out of a sense of guilt.
And it's a "working things out" process.
Some members may not want to discuss it, when it's caused a problem in their lives.

fhqwhgads said:

He hit the nail on the head. It's about trust, isn't it? What do you and your partner expect from each other, and how you trust them.

If you considered keeping your word on something like that (10 pm ) a violation of the trust, then in a very small way she cheated you a little--though I seriously doubt your marriage is in any trouble---nobody is going to leave your sweet sweet nappy dougout just for any old thing.

But momments of temptation exist everywhere, regardless of your fine moral standing. , and what defines your commitment is how you're willing to respect your partners parameters in what they would consider violations of that trust. Some women even consider porn a form of cheating , but if your wife does, you should honor that wish--though any man that does, did not choose well.


Besides Nick, when I get to Thailand, you will have moments of temptation which will shake the foundations of your own moral resolve god damnit.

ZombieKitten said:

The most I've ever done is kiss another guy when I've been in a relationship... a dead relationship that never should have started & definitely should have been over by then. I can see how affairs happen. I don't think I could if I was truly in love w/ my man/husband & we were happy (or if I was happy & thought he was too). But I've had a bad habit of letting relationships linger on long past their expiration date until my feelings are so dead ending it doesn't hurt anymore. So under those circumstances, it's easy to stray. I'd be looking to stray... Hopefully I won't linger in a dead relationship ever again

Imago said:

You can shake my moral resolve anytime.

fhqwhgads said:

Well, it looks like 2008 is shaping up to be much like the other years.

Imago said:

Have you ever been the 'other woman'?

I like Thai girls.

fhqwhgads said:

I can be. You just say the good word.


I can feed you freshly juiced fruits.

Imago said:

You're going to 'supplement' my 'diet'?

fhqwhgads said:

Gosh, we're so good at promoting shit threads.

Imago said:

Aren't we! Imagine what we'd be like on good threads!




No really, let's take a minute and just imagine.....

fhqwhgads said:

Comb through the threads... Search the last 60 days.

A good thread my ass.

Imago said:

Excellent!

jonylawson said:

I have always considered myself to be a pretty moral person but I must admit, I did cheat. I had an emotional relationship with someone and my partner at the time knew what was happening before I did.
He really did not seem to bothered by it, I guess because we had progressed(digressed) to being room mates with little to no connection.
We did go to therapy to work things out but it was too late, we were not good together, should have remained friends in the beginning.
I am not proud that I strayed but I certainly don't regret it either.
It made me wake up and realise that I was dying inside.

shanti0608 said:

what would you consider 'disloyal'?

MoniGram said:

consequences come regardless of a person's reasons.. that cycle of 'reaping it back' happens anyway ..
[Edited 1/6/08 12:32pm]

Flowerz said:

in any and everything that we do no matter what it is.

starfish100 said:

Having a relationship with another, that takes away from the spouse. Doesn't have to be physical. Although that could develope, later.

statuesqque said:

yeah.. but why put yourself through the heartache? there are too many single ppl out here.. to be messing up somebody else's marriage.. .. in the end you still dont win.. even if you get him.. why? .. cause.. the door is open for him to leave you too (the reaping process happens regardless if you believe it)..... it's safer to just get your own man... there's too many single fine ones out there..

Flowerz said:

I agree it does in everything that people do, be it a little white lie or an unspeakble crime. "to be messing up somebody else's marrige" if that man or women is looking outside of his or her marrige it's already messed up. and that "door" is always open for a person to leave single or married.

Flowerz said:

I have never had an affair in my life, but you never know what will happen in the future. And every partner may leave you, no matter under what circumstances you met him. And I don't agree that it is so easy to find a man for your own who is not in a relationship. I am in a relationship, so I am not looking, but if I were and I want to find someone it has to be someone I truly fall in love with and that is so very rare. Others may fall in love easily, but I don't so it doesn't make a difference if there are many fine men out there as I only would want to be with someone I love and to find someone like that and he loves you back is so not easy to find.

Serious said:

that's me too

statuesqque said: