Illustrator said:

promise???

Illustrator said:

I could do with a night off, break a leg dude

mdiver said:

Not another one giving me permission..I might get a complex.

shanti0608 said:

shanti0608 said:

It was either joke or threat, i figured joke would go better given my current "ban" status

mdiver said:

depends on how you take it I suppose...

I definitely understand how they happen, but I don't think I could have one.

I mean, slipping up could be a possibility (I could fall victim to a moment of weakness), but I couldn't ever sustain a deception like that. I would not even have the time or resources!

Not to mention that if I found somebody new and was having an actual relationship with her (not just a one night thing), why would I also sustain my obviously flawed relationship that led to the affair?

If I met someone new I think I'd just be with her. I wouldn't have an affair.

NDRU said:

well put. I feel the same about it.

Love and desire in a sacred bond is the most valued, worth many times over than a fleeting moment of the urging of the flesh; and brings true satisfaction.
[Edited 1/4/08 13:24pm]

I've been a bad boy....platonic and not so platonic daliances....for me, it was the perfect storm of opportunity and complancency....in the end, the physical gratification wasn't worth all of the wreckage...

jonylawson said:

Never did it and dont want to.. i am a strong believer in.. 'you reap what you sow' .. should i ever one day want to get married i wouldnt want some female going after my husband ... anyway .. why sell yourself short and play 2nd best? he's not leaving his wife so .. just go get your own man..

Flowerz said:

ZombieKitten said:

Sounds like you're having a rubbish time. I'm in a similar situation so can sympathise - it sucks!!

Been with my partner 15 yrs but have completely fallen for someone else. I never ever thought I would cheat on him, I'd never even thought about anyone else until I met this other person. Had he been up for it, I def would have cheated, in fact I think I would have left my partner for him.

I got into a situation with him where we sent eachother flirty and v suggestive texts but neither of us acted on them. When I see him he flirts loads and I'm sure if he was single it would go further. It feels like theres a real connection between us and I talk to him about how rubbish things are at home and he's really supportive. He knows I like him but doesn't know how strongly I feel about him.

I know this whole flirting thing isnt going anywhere but it doesn't stop me from thinking about him constantly and knwoing I want to be with him....it also makes me feel guilty, there hasn't been anything physical between us but we've both def thought about it (and shared those thoughts!) - i do feel like I've betrayed my partner. It kinda feels like an affair.

Sorry...I've rambled. Zombie - you have to talk to your partner. Meeting this other person has really thrown my relationship up in the air. It's changed the way I feel about my partner. It took a lot of courage but I've spoken to him about how things have changed between us (I haven't told him why) and it has helped. It was upsetting and hard but it's cleared the air and now we both know where we stand. You have to do it!! You aren't being fair to yourself.

I would never commit adultery...but, depending on the case, I would do the chick as long as a didn't have to hear about her husband/other life....

Volitan said:

you'd sleep with a married person .. but what if.. you are in love with someone and you marry.. and that person cheats on you? and all of what you did comes back on your marriage? .. and you are really in love...

Flowerz said:

Like I said, depends on the case, plus I'm young and stupid, so I'd probably listen to my penis before I listen to my mind/heart...sad but true...

starfish100 said:

It's good that you talked to your partner and I hope you will find a solution for your situation .

I've been married 25 years and never had an affair.
I do believe there's other ways to be "disloyal" without physical contact.....

xplnyrslf said:

I agree. I think that is why it is important to have a partner that shares the same morals as you do.

If I was in a relationship, I could never do it. Guilt would eat away at me until I was a withered husk like minister Dimmesdale in The Scarlet Letter.

However if I was single and the other person was in a relationship then it all depends. Suppose she and her partner have agreed to an open relationship? I guess in that case it wouldn't be considered an affair?

formatting
[Edited 1/5/08 10:33am]

I don't think I could have ever an affair, but one should never say never, so I understand why people have affairs. I would think my husband would say he could never have an affair, but.. sometimes life takes strange turns.

Sometimes things just happen... Relationships go through such cycles with highs and lows.. People go through so many things. It's very complicated.

When I was younger.. I thought my husband having an affair would be a "deal-breaker" and it still might be. The difference is now that I'm older.. I would at least have to look at the circumstances.. The truth is though, I'm not sure I could regain the trust I have in him. And I think if I ever had an affair, my husband could never regain the trust he has in me at this very moment. I think it would definitely be the end of our marriage, but it might not be the end of our "loving" each other if that makes any sense. There definitely are consequences for our actions.. some mistakes can't ever be completely rectified. And I know neither one of us could ever live with a lie, so "getting away with an affair" isn't even an option!

ZombieKitten said:

sounds exactly like my husband and I

jonylawson said:

shanti0608 said:

I agree. I think that is why it is important to have a partner that shares the same morals as you do.[/quote]

Even when that's established, it's not guaranteed. A perfect example, is the televised ministers, who are exposed for having a mistress.
People change, and even the best intentions can go array.

BabyGirl said:

so how do YOU feel about it?

All I'm saying is, how one thinks, now, on the topic, whether the instigator, or recipient/victim of an affair, may change. We all have our ideals.

Quite frankly, I'm too lazy. Sounds like alot of work.

I do agree about disloyalty that's not necessarily physical cheating.

For example, my wife came back last night after a night out, said her friend didn't show up and instead she hung out with a lesbian, who she admitted she found very attractive, and she didn't come home till 1am.

Now, after the whole bow-chicka-bow-bow thoughts had passed out of my mind ( ) I thought that was really quite an indisciplined and incorrect thing to do. Acts like that, especially considering she'd said she'd be back at 10pm, don't exactly build trust. It's not showing respect and thoughtfulness for how I feel. I don't think I would go out without my wife and even sit and talk and have a few drinks with a woman I know I find physically very attractive, and I'm a very disciplined and devoted person where this is concerned and have never cheated. I still wouldn't put myself in that situation out of respect for my wife.

.
[Edited 1/5/08 21:35pm]

fhqwhgads said:

the master didn't seem to care when I drunkenly kissed a girl on the dance floor right in front of him now had that been a guy, he would have been decked.

RodeoSchro said:

There are some who are sex addicts. It's a physical need that's out of control.
In my town, there's an expensive, high-end rehab facility in the desert. Sexual addicts are treated, along with substance abuse, and other addictions. Famous people go there.
I visited a friend who was in the substance abuse program, and one of the guys with a sexual addiction problem, was sleeping with others in the same program. This is a $30,000/month institution.