(Let's express happiness in a Gold319 way)... I made it to the first place ! Let's say that at least 80 of the 100 votes (not views) are real (read by Dutch/Belgian people). But those last ones were just as important. Let's just hope I can hold the first place for a while. Don't know how much longer the site will be up.

Thank you orgers !

retina said:

I mean the LOOK, I agree if you don't know where the hell you are navigating (or need instructions) then most people won't bother

ZombieKitten said:

The look is really nice.

ZombieKitten said:

It's a lot less baffling than the grant I'm doing right now.

Marie

I took notice of this because Herman sended a not ab this

and ofcourse :done!

Ok, I'll get real 'emo' for five minutes and tell you why this means that much to me. When people asked me as a kid what I wanted to be, I always answered 'a writer'. As a student, I've won some contests and did some small, but also honest and intimate performances. My self-confidence was never that high, but somehow I just knew this was my talent. I love music, I love paintings, but the Dutch language is just my main medium.

Four years ago though, the incredible happened. My parents divorced in a very painful way, and I started a relationship with a very insecure boy (some of you will probably remember the painful moments I had with him). To shorten the story... at first I didn't take notice, but after a while I just stopped writing. He never told me to stop writing, but gradually his fear became more important to me than my own... Everytime I wrote something he just had to read it, and then he started asking questions about it, the kind of questions you just can't answer. If it would be possible to answer them, art wouldn't exist and this world would be very threatening in many aspects of life.

Anyway, I was too blind. Some people on this site helped me to get out of this relationship (eternal thanks for that). And after that I felt an incredible urge to write again. I did a small reading in June, and the response was good, but not as it used to be. But I continued, facing my own fears: doing something of which I really wasn't sure whether I sucked at it or not...

Joining this contest was really a big step forward. When I saw I was holding the fourth place last week, I decided to do some self-promotion. It still feels strange. I hope, that by reading this, you realize in how many aspects you're supporting me. Of course the texts I'm reading/showing should be good. But it's also very important that I lose this incredible fear, of facing things in my way...

Thanks orgers. This really means something to me. Even if lose the first place tomorrow, I had it today.