Recently, I was at a mall in Ohio while visiting my daughter...my (ex) brother-in-law and I were walking towards one of the stores when a woman at one of those selling carts in the middle of the mall mugged us and dragged us over for a sample of this Dead Sea salt product thingamajigger stuff...

Anyway, the two women were using flirtation to the hilt to try and get us to buy the slop. The one working on me has me smell two different scents of the salt shtuff, then asks me "Are you married?"...

"No", I respond.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nope..."

(laughing slightly) "Do you have a boyfriend?"

(smiling and laughing) "Nope..."

After this exchange she holds up both salt concoctions and says "Which do you prefer?", meaning between the two scents. Although I know she's referring to the scents, I decide to take the opening and make a joke and tell her I prefer women (heh)...so I quickly respond and say:

"I prefer men."



My (ex) Brother-in-law starts busting up and gives me the strangest look...the two women start laughing as well...I'm looking around with a "What?" look on my face, wondering why everyone's laughing. Then I stop and think for a moment...and say "Did I say 'men'?"...They all say "yes" in unison...I get one of these looks on my face --> ...then say "I meant 'women'...I prefer women." lol...



The joke was kinda lost at that point...

I got "coming out of the closet" jokes the rest of the weekend from everyone, including my daughter lol ...

Don't fight it.

rushing07 said:

http://prince.org/msg/100/255469?&pg=1

Did Imago break into Byron's acc't too?

@ this WHOLE thread!

I hate when people selling that stuff catch me off guard.

rushing07 said:

My (ex) brother-in-law said I should have done a George Costanza and said to the woman "You want to have sex? Let's have sex! RIGHT NOW!! C'MON!!" lol ...

Question: Were the two women gorgeous and Israeli?

Whenever I'm at the mall back home in Ohio -- doesn't matter which mall or which city -- I get accosted by Dead Sea salt salespeople, too. Male or female, they're always young, beautiful, flirtatious... and they're always from Israel.

When I tell them I have a couple jars of the salt (and I do), they try to sell me this nail buffing/cuticle oil kit. When I tell them I've got one of those (and I do), they lose interest in me.

Anyways, congratulations on your coming out. Remember: No matter what, you're still our Byron and we still love you the same.

AnckSuNamun said:

when u say no thanks the first time they'll keep following u.
U gotta act crazy and be like "BACK THE FUCK OFF OF ME"

Byron said:

This whole situation is so Imago.

Lammastide said:

Yes ...and they said they had to go back to Israel in January. Apparently they only come to the U.S. for one month a year to sell this stuff lol...




Oh shut up lol (not that there's anything wrong with that)...

DanceWme said:

A while back, this one man selling stuff was BSing me big time. I went in there in between classes, so I just threw on a Jason Vorhees T-shirt, jeans, my hair looked a messed. I just didn't give a fuck that day, and he was going on about how nice I looked. He did the whole nail demo & everything, then I told him I really wasn't interested in it. I just told him I was broke. I know he was pissed that he went through the whole demo for nothing. Serves him right. He should've left me alone the first time I said I wasn't interested.

DanceWme said:

Oh, these two women were doing a job on us, and especially on my (ex) brother-in-law...asking if we had gone Xmas shopping for both of them lol ...when they saw the bag from Victoria's Secret (lotions for my daughter lol), they said something like "oooh, I love teddies"...one of them said "I know what you're thinking, and yes...this is great for foreplay" lol ...

I just thought "Dial it down a few notches, geez"...

Byron said:

So did u get some cologne while u were there?

Byron said:

Yeah, they try to master the art of bull shitting. They can't con me though.

ThreadCula said:

AnckSuNamun said:

The most obvious part is when they show you the price sheet lol ...They always offer it to you for like 50% of the price listed on their laminated sheet. (in beautiful Israeli accent): "You see it normally is $89...but I make good deal for you. I give you it for $49."

I got accosted by a guy selling that shit. I told him I had to go and I would come back when I had to go back to the place I was going to (dropping something off to get repaired then picking it back up). I had to pass him to get back there and I went far to the other side trying to run away from him

Janfriend said:

You should have told him you were gay...seems to work.

You're queer, you're here, and we'll all get used to it!

KidaDynamite said:

Byron said:

Awesome.

Byron said:

The criminal part of this is you can get a big ol' jar of the stuff for like $5.95 at Trader Joes.

Those people drive me NUTS in the mall. I've almost contemplated writing a complaint letter to the malls that allow them to do that crap. I"ve been stopped multiple times by the SAME person in a given evening as I'm walking around the mall.

Tom said:

Maybe your hands look really bad.