105 Facts About You

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring? No I was given a cheerio with a raisin on top.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? 45 Years, unfortunately it didn't work out. We got a divorce I bought a time
machine on ebay and split. And here I am.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? Flamming batones, its for my new act as "Hell in A Skirt"

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? I'd drop my brains if possible, what makes you think I haven't dropped my
cellular telephonicular device?

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? I work out my fingers every day on the Computer, thats enough work out for me.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? DvDs And things of the questionable nature.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? Something of the egg variety. I did not like.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Hands, Mouth, and Stare.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? 30 Seconds To Mars The Kill

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Mars, right down the street from Guam.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: The Regional High School For Metamorphical Children.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: Can You Hear Me Now?

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: A store that has cloth that will cover my chesticles with just enough compression to make them look like a babys bottom.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: Aside from the gogo dancer position I've been doing since I was 14?...I'd say Roberto Half.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? I own a pair of glasses.

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: Only those who I feel the need to make them cry.

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: I hate weddings and I avoid them as much as possible and the last wedding I went to was three years and it was a nightmare. Ugly people, and...just...no. It wasn't working for the bride either.

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: Screw Friends I'd call my mother and family.

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: Uhh, perhaps in the year of the pig.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: Anything that can provide me with satisfaction of the taste buds is my favorite fast food restaurant.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD: "I Love You"

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? The place on 49th street where the waiters have firm tushys and they are sticking out the back of their aprons.

24. CAN YOU COOK? I am a chef of the sorts, the question is whether I feel like cooking. And the answer to that is almost always no.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: I drive one that has wheels of the rubber variety.

26. BEST KISSER: Now why would I tell you that...

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: When the colors of the winds diverted their attention from me and to that hoe Pochohantas.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS: I don't dislike food...that would be a sin and an insult to God. I don't eat veal, but veal is an insult to everything basically.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: My ability to piss people off.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: My ability to piss people off.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: 12 Hours chillen at the Holiday inn. Lets just say the drunk pilots weren't going to have the most pleasant evening after they ate those super hot hot wings.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE? The Little Mermaid...Every evil person has a soft spot.

34. CAN YOU SING? If I could sing I'd be whoring myself out on youtube.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? 30 Seconds To Mars, TASTE OF CHAOS...Basically it was borderline amazing.

36. LAST KISS? Oh no, I'm not having this conversation.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: Knocked up and it was the crappiest movie ever.

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: My nunchucks

39. FAVORITE vacation spot : My bed I throw my paradise beach blanket over it and I pretend I'm in bombay. And look at that I just saved myself a bunch of money by switching into reality.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: I would like a laptop to burn my gonads.

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: Lewis Black hands down.

45. DO YOU SMOKE? NO

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? I sleep with clothes, I'm not sure if I'd want to run out of the house in a fire with my nonos hanging out.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: Mr.Bojangles and friends.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: Its a very hard thing. But I mean I had a relationship with the man on the moon and it worked out for a couple of years. We split to irreconciable differences.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? Approxiametly 32 times. Apparently its illegal to flash truckers on the LIE?

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? Pancakes of the silverdollar variety

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: Coffee likes me.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Overwell, and I will hurt you physically if they are any less than that.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: No like what is that honestly...a bunch of people dressed in drag to prove a point that does not exist.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: The Dali Lama.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: George Michaels we're working on a private concert of WHAM in my room.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: "Slut"

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: 1 body pillow 4 regular pillows pluse 4 little pillows

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: Clothes that don't fit me.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: - I'm a soul man...

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?: Grape please. Nothing but grape touches my breads.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: I have a pool table. I like to shoot my balls out the window.

63. CAN YOU SWIM? I don't have to swim I have permanent floatation devices attached to my rib cage.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Vanilla and that is all.

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? I have maps foreverything. Maps to my future, Maps to Guam, and a lovely map to fist you in the face.

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I dated wolverine.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: My Highschool graduation party was themed.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON : Spring And Fall

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? About 10 mins ago.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? 727 on THE DOT.

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: My ability to cut thru steel with my nips.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: It wasn't a ticket for speeding, it was a ticket for being DANGEROUSLY CUTE!!!

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Kittee

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: Well I am affiliated with the Pirate hookers club so they are pretty darn neat dontchathink?

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? Going to Brooklyn to my uncles house and scope out the delicious Jewish boys. JUICY JEWS.

78. BIRTHDATE: 8/30/1986 they day the earth stood still.

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: A fantastic chinese acrobat, Pole dancer.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: No I am on a chair.

87. ARE YOU SMILING?: NO i'm stuffing my face with delish foods

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: My Alter Ego whom I like to Call...Elaine.

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Guam. So I Can call people at work and when they go where are you...I can say I'm in guam and be serious.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: NEvar!!!!! I graduated early to get away from that ish.

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: On Jared LEto.

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Julian

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: I threw them away cause the perky ladies don't fit nemore.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: NO.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: uh ljasd;lfj;alsjd;lf No I Did not...I had to think.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: No that involves large bodies of water. Thats a no.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER : I don't know ask my dad he's the one who was at one point happy to be spreading his seed.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: Sorta.

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: God No.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Yea they called me an anamoly

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? Jared Leto.

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? Nipple rings.

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? finish eating my FOODZ!!!

Can't we get a few tit shots instead??

liberation said:

No because they'll end up photoshopped onto 2the9s

This survey is fucking long. I'm going to attempt to fill it out

OMG, I did it


1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring?
Nah

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? 2 years

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? A blue sweater

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? I drop my phone at least once a day

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? Yesterday

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? Music

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? Cinnamon Pancakes

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Face

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? At the moment, A La Primera Persona by Alejandro Sanz

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? The Land of Rocks

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: North Rockland High School

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:Nextel

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: New York and Company

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: Babysitter

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? Nah
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: I haven't made a prank call since I was 13
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: My cousin's

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: I would call my family first and then I would call my best friend

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: Two days ago

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: Burger King

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD: That's a tough one...

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? Jazzman's Cafe

24. CAN YOU COOK? Hell yes.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: I drive a shitty Toyota

26. BEST KISSER:

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday when I slipped on the ice

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS: OMG, there a so many. I can't pick one
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I like that I'm outgoing

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I'm stubborn

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: Nearly an entire day

33. FAVORITE MOVIE? Saturday Night Fever

34. CAN YOU SING? I can sing. Can I sing well? NO.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? I don't even remember. It's been a really long time since I last went to a concert

36. LAST KISS? Someone who I will NEVER kiss again

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: I don't remember

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: My keys

39. FAVORITE vacation spot : Dominican Republic

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: I have a desktop, but I prefer a laptop
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: George Lopez

45. DO YOU SMOKE? No.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? Usually without

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: Me, myself, and I

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: I have no idea. I've never been involved in a long distance relationship

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? Once

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? Pancakes

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: HATE it

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? I don't like eggs

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: I dunno

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: A sexy man

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: Dad

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: Okay, I'll see you then...

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: 3 regular pillows and one smaller one

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: Black sweats with a white tank top

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: Where do we go from here?
The words are coming out all weird
Where are you now, when I need you

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: Nah

63. CAN YOU SWIM? Nope

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Mint Chocolate Chip

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? Sure!

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: My first language is Spanglish

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: Yeah, I attended a 1995 themed party. It was stupid

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON : Spring

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? About two minuts ago

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? 7:15 AM

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: Snow

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: It ain't nevah happened

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Lucky

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: They are fucking rad. I'm an org pirate

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? Christmas chit

78. BIRTHDATE: March 25, 1985

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: Many things

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: Nah

87. ARE YOU SMILING?: Nah

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: Yes

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Spain

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: I graduated a couple of years ago

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: Hell yeah

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Don't have one

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: It's black with white polka dots

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: Yeah

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: I wish!

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: Nope

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER : I have two. One older and one younger

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: Yup

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: No.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Many times

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? Yeah

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? I'm not rocking any jewelery at the moment

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? Thangs

Sweet jesus on a cracker...

i've done this one before

Oh, Bucket is back I see

FuNkeNsteiN said:

.....Yes....

Byron said:

you are supposed to be dissin Dex on his backstab me sumpin sumpin thread

Mach said:

A thousand pardons...let me tend to that thusly...

Byron said:

Byron said:

I LOVE the front of the card you sent me - most beautiful and festive in that old world romanitc way ...

I've missed the buckety humour. I'm glad to see it back!

ArielB said: