evenstar said:

no actually!
she's a health care aid, and she started late
she used to be a school bus driver and she started school to be a health care aid when i was younger i remember helping her with her studies hahaha
but i guess she wanted me to be what she couldn't be?

i would NEVER be a nurse, and all my friends who are in school for nursing right now are dreading it (my parents LOVE them of course) no way not for me!

sammij said:

yeah! my mom likes it, but i've seen that it isn't something i'd ever be able to do through her.

i always secretly laughed at all the people i knew in nursing/pre-med going nuts over their science & math classes when i got to have fun in mine.

evenstar said:

i get a kick out of that too
especially because none of my classes this semester required an exam

i do feel a lil patronized whenever they talk "nurse" talk to each other or my family while i'm around...so i start acting like an asshole and say stuff like "we paint pictures n stuff" they don't like when i do but they don't realize how small they make me feel when all they want to gush about is fucking nursing

You are not alone! I know exactly how you feel!

I count the days then the hours till it's over...I completely get where you're coming from

statuesqque said:

and moni

it's not just christmas time bringing it on though, and i'm not talkin the whole family, just immediate family
which can do a number on someone...to feel totally alienated from the people that raised you?
i hate it..

do you both feel like this year'round?

sammij said:

I so feel your pain, I saw them for Thanksgiving and left a day early... I couldn't do another 24 hours which was drama in and of itself...

yes me most days, but then I really shouldn't have started a family

sammij said:[quote]

statuesqque said:

and moni

it's not just christmas time bringing it on though, and i'm not talkin the whole family, just immediate family
which can do a number on someone...to feel totally alienated from the people that raised you?
i hate it..

do you both feel like this year'round?[/quote]


Yes hun I am afraid so. I grew up in a hispanic family, being adopted and half white, I NEVER fit in with my own family or my cousins. There are some of my relatives that know of my sister, and never realized my parents had another child. I haven't talked to my sister in years! I have never met my great nieces or nephew. I don't go home..because I don't feel comfortable in the home I grew up in.

MoniGram said:[quote]

sammij said:

I see them twice a year, Mother's Day and Thanksgiving. I go see them so they don't have to come here...that's pretty much what it's come to for me.

statuesqque said:

I haven't been home in over a year.

ZombieKitten said:

evenstar said:

USE BIRTH CONTROL LAUREL WHATEVER YOU DO

ZombieKitten said:

yeah! i do want them someday though

MoniGram said:

I was shooting for that but they got crafty on me and had me bring the ham for turkey day. I'll never be able to make a year.

I stopped trying to fit in with my family. I dont even care enough to be uncomfortable if I am making them uncomfortable. One day, before i got too old, I realized that they were friggin crazy and that if I conform, I too will be like them. So I'm thrilled to be the ultimate black sheep. yea....they talk, but when the crap hits the fan, they all want to speak to me...the sane black sheep.

Dont let the backbiting get to you....treasure your new found self awareness and independence
[Edited 12/17/07 21:45pm]

family + holidays

I stopped doing that years ago. I'll go visit them, say...in February or August.

Sometimes I feel like what I want isn't taken into consideration because I'm the only one who doesn't have kids.

There are 3 of us kids. My brothers have 3 kids each, I have none. Both of them have spouses, I don't. A couple of Christmas' ago, my eldest brother was complaining about how expensive it is to buy presents. I came up with the idea to draw names. We would still buy presents for the little kids but only have to buy one for the adults. I suggested it to help him out since the holidays are tough, especially when you have kids of your own. We agreed we would do this. Then a week before xmas, he tells me "you know, the only person this really helps is you."

At first I felt bad about what he said. My intention was to help him but after I really thought about it, this whole set up did help me the most. I didn't want people to think I was pushing this whole name draw for my benefit.

Then I really started to think about it and I got angry. What a shitty thing to say to me!!!! I buy gifts for 10 people (brothers, their spouses, their kids) each year. I have the money and I like doing it but it really glazes my donuts that he had the nerve to say something so.....rude! I cried the rest of the night after I talked to him. And I couldn't talk to my mom because I didn't want to upset her.

I've decided that I'm going to have 10 kids. And I'm going to make sure their birthdays are all in different months so my brother will always have a birthday present to buy.

Thanks for letting me rant! Oh, and to answer the question. Family time is stressful. I have to take medication to get through it.

thanks to everyone for your input

and i'm happy i know everyone here on the .org
it's kind of like another type of family, but i don't mind being a freak here - there are tons of freaks here anyway

sammij said:

It really is!

heartbeatocean said:

I'm with you heartbeat....and I keep my visits short. I always have somewhere to go, so I cant stay too long....

family time?



no thanks.

Sammi

I feel you on not always enjoying family time. I recently told my hairdresser that I could only take my family "in small doses" She said, "WHAT!" and seemed surprised, but it's true. There are several members of my family who are now SUPER religious, and they start these religious discussions, which result in heated arguments. Fun, fun, fun! So I find that I limit my time with my family now, because I just can't take it anymore, it gets sooo nerve-wracking!

xperience319 said:

I very much enjoy family time... in small, measured doses.

psychodelicide said:

that is definitely like my dad and brothers, all hardheaded and love to fight over religion

sammij said:

Arrgh! Don't you just HATE that???? Drives me totally nuts!

I love my mom and dad dearly, but when I visit them, I am simply not used to the attention they give me. I love catching up, talking, whatever, but at a certain point I need to just retreat and do my own thing for a little while. Mom gives a LOT of attention. She's simply happy that I'm visiting, but I had to tell her, when we were watching TV that I am not used to so much attention, and really just wanna watch what's on TV.

Having lived on my own for 11 years now, it is just different when I am at home. There is this serene silence and peace and quiet. She understood though. People change. Just don't take it personal, and be you. I am sure that's the most wonderful person your family can ask for. Just you.

StillGotIt said:

My other secret is to have a rental car handy at all times. Gives me some independence and I can escape rather than falling into their clutches...

In the past many years, I haven't enjoyed it much at all. But that's changing. I'm appreciating it more. And I've been appreciating it more with my "other" 2 families as well.

It's just about chaning your mindset. It is for me, anyway. Yes, those people can be the ones that get on your nerves the most. I've just sort of had something of an attitude adjustment over the last year or so.