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Printablesammij said: he needs to stop contacting you if there can't be any resolution.
Exactly. Don't take his calls. Why is he calling to tell you the bad news? You already got it in an email. He's just trying to alleviate his guilty concience. Don't give him an out on this. He's an ass who is too big a pussy to take control of his own life. You don't need any part of that bullshit. 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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BlackAdder7 said: get over it Moni, there's far better out there for you.
Believe it or not, this is his way of saying it with love  You do need to find a way to move on. He is going to keep you in limbo otherwise 
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retina said: I think it's good that you're talking to him. The breakup seems to have happened so sudden that I think you need some time let it all sink in, in order to get over it, and being able to discuss what happened helps in a process like that. Clean breaks with no explanations can cause distress and speculation for years.
I tend to agree. With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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Mach said: MoniGram said: So everyone....I need to know, why do men do things like this....
Andy calls me today, tells me he misses me, tells me he loves me, but has to remind me we can't be together because his parents wouldn't approve. He tells me he can't sleep, can't eat. And the whole time I am crying!  So now I feel like I have taken 10 steps back.  I am not sure why he is doing this  have you asked him why ?
Do you feel he is wanting different then what his parents expect of him - meaning does he want to be with you but allows his parents wishes to run his ship ? What a tough situation for you - and perhaps for him as well  I did ask him why, and he said because he missed me and my family. He was a huge part of my home, from bday parties, to my daughter's wedding...to hearing about my granddaughter 10 mins after I found out. I know he wishes things were diffrent with his culture and his parents..but no matter how much he loves me, he can never go against his family. It is something that other's looking in from the outside can't understand. Some Asian families can be so stricked on that stuff. Andy says if maybe he wasn't the only son, we could have worked this out...but sadly he is the only one. It's a situation that is all very messed up. And I am very confused. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian  | |
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retina said: I think it's good that you're talking to him. The breakup seems to have happened so sudden that I think you need some time let it all sink in, in order to get over it, and being able to discuss what happened helps in a process like that. Clean breaks with no explanations can cause distress and speculation for years.
I agree with what you said. Everything happened so fast...I didn't even get time to breath. I want to talk to him, so I can understand. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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roodboi said: I think it's really easy for us to give advice when we're not the ones in the situation...Moni, I'm not gonna tell you to not talk to him, to get over him, or to move on...all those things are easier said than done...he obviously still cares or else he wouldn't have called...regardless of how he handled things, his situation seems shitty too...as crazy as it sounds, maybe take some comfort in knowing that he is suffering too...If any of us could say the right thing to make you happy again, I know we all would...but just go with your feelings...if you wanna hold on for the chance that y'all may get back together then do it...if you wanna move on and look for happiness, then do it...either way, I wish you the best
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MoniGram said: Mach said: I am not sure why he is doing this have you asked him why ?
Do you feel he is wanting different then what his parents expect of him - meaning does he want to be with you but allows his parents wishes to run his ship ? What a tough situation for you - and perhaps for him as well I did ask him why, and he said because he missed me and my family. He was a huge part of my home, from bday parties, to my daughter's wedding...to hearing about my granddaughter 10 mins after I found out. I know he wishes things were diffrent with his culture and his parents..but no matter how much he loves me, he can never go against his family. It is something that other's looking in from the outside can't understand. Some Asian families can be so stricked on that stuff. Andy says if maybe he wasn't the only son, we could have worked this out...but sadly he is the only one. It's a situation that is all very messed up. And I am very confused. I agree with others who say that conversation can help you resolve the "whys" of why this is happening but you already know all the whys. Further converstation is just going to burden you further because you will only talk about what you had and what could have been. IMO, you already have all the information you need and there really is no need to talk to him anymore. He's ridiculous and shame on him for subjecting you to this stupidity and madness. He should just jack a load in a cup and hand it to his parents and tell them find a woman to inseminate and carry on the family throne from there It's just sick he's allowing his parents to run his life. Culture or no culture, grow a fucking set! And if culture is so important, why the hell did they leave their country? I'm just sickened over this whole thing. Sorry you're hurting Moni 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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roodboi said: I think it's really easy for us to give advice when we're not the ones in the situation...Moni, I'm not gonna tell you to not talk to him, to get over him, or to move on...all those things are easier said than done...he obviously still cares or else he wouldn't have called...regardless of how he handled things, his situation seems shitty too...as crazy as it sounds, maybe take some comfort in knowing that he is suffering too...If any of us could say the right thing to make you happy again, I know we all would...but just go with your feelings...if you wanna hold on for the chance that y'all may get back together then do it...if you wanna move on and look for happiness, then do it...either way, I wish you the best
Thank you for these words Jason! I won't hold on to getting back together..that is something that will NEVER happen. His culture and family will NEVER let that happen! I have 3 kids...and can't give him any more. I am a 'shame shame' kind of thing.
And it's not crazy..I do take comfort that he is hurting..that he hasn't been sleeping etc...because for some odd crazy ass reason it feels good to know these things. Maybe I am just sick. But I feel talking to him, will make this easier. I would rather have Andy as my friend, then not have Andy at all! In a strange way, we need each other. We were friends long before we were lovers! So when he cut me off so sudden, I felt like my best friend just died. So I can only hope we can come to an agreement. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: MoniGram said: I did ask him why, and he said because he missed me and my family. He was a huge part of my home, from bday parties, to my daughter's wedding...to hearing about my granddaughter 10 mins after I found out. I know he wishes things were diffrent with his culture and his parents..but no matter how much he loves me, he can never go against his family. It is something that other's looking in from the outside can't understand. Some Asian families can be so stricked on that stuff. Andy says if maybe he wasn't the only son, we could have worked this out...but sadly he is the only one. It's a situation that is all very messed up. And I am very confused. I agree with others who say that conversation can help you resolve the "whys" of why this is happening but you already know all the whys. Further converstation is just going to burden you further because you will only talk about what you had and what could have been. IMO, you already have all the information you need and there really is no need to talk to him anymore. He's ridiculous and shame on him for subjecting you to this stupidity and madness. He should just jack a load in a cup and hand it to his parents and tell them find a woman to inseminate and carry on the family throne from there It's just sick he's allowing his parents to run his life. Culture or no culture, grow a fucking set! And if culture is so important, why the hell did they leave their country? I'm just sickened over this whole thing. Sorry you're hurting Moni This is exactly what I thought hun! I think it's horrible that his parents just couldn't be happy that someone loves him. And trust me, Andy isn't an easy man to love! And I know he shouldn't be calling me and saying those things to me. Because in the talk he also had to bring up that girl in Texas! I told him to stop throwing her in my face! This whole situation sucks donkey balls, that's for sure! I want normal again! I really do, because I am sick of crying, and this is no way to lose weight!!!!! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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Of course it's nice to hear that he still cares about you... BUT, if he really cared about you, he'd tell his parents to go fuck 'emselves and come back to you. It is not known why FuNkeNsteiN capitalizes his name as he does, though some speculate sunlight deficiency caused by the most pimpified white guy afro in Nordic history.
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FuNkeNsteiN said: Of course it's nice to hear that he still cares about you... BUT, if he really cared about you, he'd tell his parents to go fuck 'emselves and come back to you.
Only in a perfect world my friend!  Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: This is exactly what I thought hun! I think it's horrible that his parents just couldn't be happy that someone loves him. And trust me, Andy isn't an easy man to love! And I know he shouldn't be calling me and saying those things to me. Because in the talk he also had to bring up that girl in Texas! I told him to stop throwing her in my face! This whole situation sucks donkey balls, that's for sure! I want normal again! I really do, because I am sick of crying, and this is no way to lose weight!!!!! Just my  just on that note alone I'd say never speak to him again, there's nothing that can be resolved, just more pain for you. | |
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yeah I think you should really just cut him off. like supa said he has said all he needed to say. for one thing he's a grown ass man still listening to his parents. culture or no culture he has no backbone if he's letting others influence the two of you. you don't want a man like that. | |
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Thank you everyone for your advice. Only time will tell what will happen. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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jess555ja said: BlackAdder7 said: why would you want someone who is not his own person, and lives life according to his parents, and not what is good for himself?
get over it Moni, there's far better out there for you.  I agree. Tell him to stop calling you... unless he calls to tell you that he has dumped that new chick and has finally started using his own goddamn brain instead of mindlessly following his parents instructions. It is not known why FuNkeNsteiN capitalizes his name as he does, though some speculate sunlight deficiency caused by the most pimpified white guy afro in Nordic history.
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MoniGram said: retina said: I think it's good that you're talking to him. The breakup seems to have happened so sudden that I think you need some time let it all sink in, in order to get over it, and being able to discuss what happened helps in a process like that. Clean breaks with no explanations can cause distress and speculation for years.
I agree with what you said. Everything happened so fast...I didn't even get time to breath. I want to talk to him, so I can understand. Eventhough it's easy to think he's an asshole and everything, I don't think it would be a good idea to start totally avoiding him. If you don't want to answer his calls, if you're afraid and not ready to talk to him, just don't, but don't beat yourself up for answering.. Answer when you feel that you're ready. You're really brave for doing that so soon. And since the breakup was done by email, I think you have some questions that need to be answered.. And I bet he suffers too and misses you. If you want to call him a bastard, do it and if you want to hear his voice and feel like crying do that too, if it's what you feel is the right thing to do and if it helps you move on. If it's certain, that you don't have a future together, it's good that you're realistic and don't hang on to that thought. But I'm sure he will always be in your life, nontheless in some way.. I really hope that you can be friends in the future.. I wish you all the strenght in the world, moni.. You will get through this. Allow me to introduce: Ms. Onder and Mrs. Donk! (o)(o)
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MoniGram said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: I agree with others who say that conversation can help you resolve the "whys" of why this is happening but you already know all the whys. Further converstation is just going to burden you further because you will only talk about what you had and what could have been. IMO, you already have all the information you need and there really is no need to talk to him anymore. He's ridiculous and shame on him for subjecting you to this stupidity and madness. He should just jack a load in a cup and hand it to his parents and tell them find a woman to inseminate and carry on the family throne from there It's just sick he's allowing his parents to run his life. Culture or no culture, grow a fucking set! And if culture is so important, why the hell did they leave their country? I'm just sickened over this whole thing. Sorry you're hurting Moni This is exactly what I thought hun! I think it's horrible that his parents just couldn't be happy that someone loves him. And trust me, Andy isn't an easy man to love! And I know he shouldn't be calling me and saying those things to me. Because in the talk he also had to bring up that girl in Texas! I told him to stop throwing her in my face! This whole situation sucks donkey balls, that's for sure! I want normal again! I really do, because I am sick of crying, and this is no way to lose weight!!!!! OK..... What if all the children the has with her are girls? Then what? Nobody to carry on the family name and it was all in vain. Pray for girls Moni! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: MoniGram said: This is exactly what I thought hun! I think it's horrible that his parents just couldn't be happy that someone loves him. And trust me, Andy isn't an easy man to love! And I know he shouldn't be calling me and saying those things to me. Because in the talk he also had to bring up that girl in Texas! I told him to stop throwing her in my face! This whole situation sucks donkey balls, that's for sure! I want normal again! I really do, because I am sick of crying, and this is no way to lose weight!!!!! OK..... What if all the children the has with her are girls? Then what? Nobody to carry on the family name and it was all in vain. Pray for girls Moni! YOU MISTER! just made my day! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: MoniGram said: This is exactly what I thought hun! I think it's horrible that his parents just couldn't be happy that someone loves him. And trust me, Andy isn't an easy man to love! And I know he shouldn't be calling me and saying those things to me. Because in the talk he also had to bring up that girl in Texas! I told him to stop throwing her in my face! This whole situation sucks donkey balls, that's for sure! I want normal again! I really do, because I am sick of crying, and this is no way to lose weight!!!!! OK..... What if all the children the has with her are girls? Then what? Nobody to carry on the family name and it was all in vain. Pray for girls Moni! It is not known why FuNkeNsteiN capitalizes his name as he does, though some speculate sunlight deficiency caused by the most pimpified white guy afro in Nordic history.
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Mushanga said: MoniGram said: I agree with what you said. Everything happened so fast...I didn't even get time to breath. I want to talk to him, so I can understand. Eventhough it's easy to think he's an asshole and everything, I don't think it would be a good idea to start totally avoiding him. If you don't want to answer his calls, if you're afraid and not ready to talk to him, just don't, but don't beat yourself up for answering.. Answer when you feel that you're ready. You're really brave for doing that so soon. And since the breakup was done by email, I think you have some questions that need to be answered.. And I bet he suffers too and misses you. If you want to call him a bastard, do it and if you want to hear his voice and feel like crying do that too, if it's what you feel is the right thing to do and if it helps you move on. If it's certain, that you don't have a future together, it's good that you're realistic and don't hang on to that thought. But I'm sure he will always be in your life, nontheless in some way.. I really hope that you can be friends in the future.. I wish you all the strenght in the world, moni.. You will get through this. Thank you hun! it wasn't easy talking to him...just seeing he texted me made me shake.[Edited 12/13/07 12:37pm] Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: OK..... What if all the children the has with her are girls? Then what? Nobody to carry on the family name and it was all in vain. Pray for girls Moni! YOU MISTER! just made my day! It could happen Some men's strongest swimmers are the girl ones Wouldn't that be just the height of irony? 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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who's Andy? | |
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roodboi said: who's Andy?
Are you crazy?  He's her ex 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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Cut the fucker LOOSE!!!! Seriously, you don't need his shit | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Are you crazy?
yes...
SuperFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: He's her ex
I know...I was kiddin'... | |
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EverSoulicious said: Cut the fucker LOOSE!!!! Seriously, you don't need his shit
that's what i've been saying for the past how many posts?!?1?! CUT HIS ASS OFF!!! [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: EverSoulicious said: Cut the fucker LOOSE!!!! Seriously, you don't need his shit
that's what i've been saying for the past how many posts?!?1?! CUT HIS ASS OFF!!! Yes I know I should. Damn..love can really suck ASS! Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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roodboi said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Are you crazy?
yes...
SuperFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: He's her ex
I know...I was kiddin'... Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: sammij said: that's what i've been saying for the past how many posts?!?1?! CUT HIS ASS OFF!!! Yes I know I should. Damn..love can really suck ASS! it really can but it makes you so much stronger in the long run [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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MoniGram said: So everyone....I need to know, why do men do things like this....
Andy calls me today, tells me he misses me, tells me he loves me, but has to remind me we can't be together because his parents wouldn't approve. He tells me he can't sleep, can't eat. And the whole time I am crying! So now I feel like I have taken 10 steps back. Does he expect you to feel sorry for him? Oh, poor Andy! WHATEVER! I'd tell that douchebag to sit and spin! Guys like him come a dime a dozen. You, my dear, are one of a kind.Shake it til ya make it  | |
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