shanti0608 said:

yes, it does help 2 get it out....my poor husband is usually the recipiant of me "letting it go"

unfortunately, it makes him stress about me
even though i tell him not 2, that im just "letting it out"

i was given a book called "living with it" by bev aisbett, a panic attack survivor by my GP (he was a god send)

its a great book, really helped me put things in perspective

she has also written a book called "taming the black dog" its in my to buy pile of books at work

JDInteractive said:

I've never seen one but for the longest time have been wanting and needing to... some pretty fucked up stuff goes through my head and it's not healthy

I'm very interested to keep an eye on this thread and see what people say

thanks JD for this subject

Natisse said:

I have talked to many of my friends about seeking someone professional to talk to. Some times it helps to talk to someone who does not know you as well as your friends do. You get to let it out without worrying about someone casting judgment upon you and you do not have to worry about hurting anyones feelings or making them feel uncomfortable. You have to be ready and open when you do decide to go, otherwise you will just waste your time and money.
I would seriously consider it if you feel like you have some things that you need to work through. You could write in a journal first just to collect your thoughts and decide what you want to approach first if you do seek counceling.

Keep an open mind and don't be too hard on yourself.

JDInteractive said:

If I'd have been offered tea, let alone custard creams I'd have been sorted in a couple of hours.

How many of you see a councilor?
but stopped a few weeks ago

Is it/was it beneficial to you and to what extent?

It was, I think, most of it was confirmatory for me but it was good to hear it from sombody else. I found that we identified many problems but were not able to go any further. I am glad I went, and it certainly played a part in a tumultuous part of my life.

Are you ashamed that you do or were you?

Yes and no, Yes becasue it's all bollox and doesn't work and "like I, need councilling" but no becasue it did help a bit and I don't mind sharing with some folks.

PREDOMINANT said:

Was it you or the counsilor that decided it was time to stop?

I am doing it right now. I went through hard times in the past and never thought I would try it, but that I would be always able to go through everything on my own. So I felt like a looser when some weeks ago I decided to give it a try. I was more or less told that in some weeks time I should have found the answers I am looking for. Well some weeks have pased and I don't have the impression that it has helped me a lot. I am the kind of person who is refelecting a lot, so most of the things people usually find out when they talk to someone prefessional I already knew, I just can't make use of what I know and I was hopeing that professional help might help me to do that. Maybe it will eventually, but I doubt it .

Serious said:

Yeah, that's what I fear would be the case for me too. It seems like therapists' main purpose is to point out certain things that might not be obvious to you, just to get you thinking, and that might be very well-needed for some. But for those of us who constantly scrutinize ourselves the therapy just becomes - as another orger once put it - "emotional masturbation". Plus you might be left with that feeling you described of being a "victim" or a "loser".

Those who swear by therapy as the road to happiness usually argue against that way of thinking by saying "you just have to find the right fit; the therapists you've tried just weren't for you!". Maybe they have a point when they say that, but I can't help but think "Well yeah, but that could apply to almost anything. Maybe I would love puking if I could only find the right food to puke up, who knows? ".

retina said:

And when do you know you have found the right person . My therapist is a very nice man and he is very interested in helping me. Usually each meeting would just be an hour, but he takes his time and I stay for 3 hours each time and he doesn't charge me more than the one hour. Still I don't know if he is the right person to help me even though I am quite sure that he wants to. Maybe there is no right person anyway .

Serious said:

Well in theory you would know because it becomes obvious that they understand your specific needs and that they're actually making you feel better. What I'm wondering though, is if maybe the whole concept of therapy might be a poor fit for some of us, regardless of the individual therapist. But maybe I'm wrong.



That almost sounds a bit fishy, lol. Therapy is usually expensive so if he gives you two hours for free every time I would be worried that he might have ulterior motives (although probably he doesn't). Besides, isn't three hours kind of draining? I always thought forty-five minutes (which is the standard here) sounded too short, but I don't know if I'd want a three hour marathon either.

retina said:

I had hour-long sessions when I went and I could barely fill them. I never knew what to talk about. I generally clam up when I'm with someone I don't know, even a therapist. I felt like she should have been asking me leading questions, but she'd just kind of sit there wondering what I wanted to talk about. Once I got in the seat, I didn't want to talk about anything.

Hence the therapy not really working for me.

retina said:

I don't think he is making me feel better, but yeah, maybe no other therapist would either .
I was wondering about other motives as well. I think he feels very sorry for me and is a bit desperate about the fact that he cannot help me more. He told me he is thinking a lot about my situation between the meetings to maybe find out something that he didn't think about before. He also asked me if it was alright to videotape a meeting and show it to other therapists so that maybe someone else's input could help in any way. I know his concern could be considered a bit fishy, but I think he is just a nice guy who doesn't do his job to earn money first and foremost, but to do something that may help others.

CarrieMpls said:

It's not really working for me either, although I am quite the opposite .
If he wouldn't stop me we would talk all night long . Everytime we talk about something so many things come to my mind that I consider to be important that everytime I leave we didn't even talk about the things both of us had planned. I think that's one of the reasons that he is so supportive. He told me that he sees how much I struggle and try to find my answers while other clients don't really "take part" in what he is trying to do. But yes it is quite exhausting as I really concentrate a lot during these "sessions".
I think when you are not the type of person to talk to someone openly the therapist should ask more questions. Although my therapist told me that he knows of therapists who tell their clients to lay down on the couch and tell him what's on their mind and it can happen that the client may not say one word for the whole hour .

Serious said:

Assuming that you're right, it's good to hear that there are therapists like him out there who actually care.

When you see most therapists' per-session price tag, you really start to wonder what motivates them.

CarrieMpls said:

That's terrible. The least she could do is ask you a few basic questions to get you started, and then ask follow-up questions depending on your answers, just like a journalist would.

retina said:

I hope I am. I am sure he cares, I just hope he doesn't care in a way he shouldn't .

retina said:

Serious said:

Yeah, that's what I originally meant too.

retina said:

I know. It sounds too good to be true . Well he once said that I am beautiful, but he mentioned it when we did a role play, so I don't think it was his own opinion. Although I must confess I was a bit alarmed. Anyway when I was wearing a short skirt some weeks ago he didn't even seem to notice, so that is a good sign me thinks !

Serious said:

None of my therapists offered role playing. I have had some boring therapists.

shanti0608 said:

I will do roll playing with you if that helps

mdiver said:

as long as it does not involve you putting on a dress...

shanti0608 said:

shanti0608 said:

We tried it, but it doesn't work at all as I somehow can't do it properly . Don't know why .

mdiver said:

Can I watch ?

Serious said:

mdiver said: