Your opinions please

Hello All, I would like to ask your advice about my sister. My name is Annette Shears, I am 37 years old and I am going through a Divorce. My husband and I separated because he hit me. That was the 2nd time he had done that and my father didn't raise no fool. I left him and filed a charge against him. My older sister was at the house and witnessed my husband hit me. Now during the time before we went to court, my husband was frequently visiting my sister. My daughter who is 9 years old told me she heard my sister tell her Daddy that "she had his back". I was a little concerned however; I did not think my sister would come to court and lie for my husband. Well she did. The first time we went to court she voluntarily came and testified that when I was pointing at him to go on about his business it was possible that my finger touched his eye which meant I gave the first initial contact. After all the evidence was presented the judge ruled in my favor and I got my 2 year protective order against my husband. We had to go to court a second time in which it was clear my sister did not want to be there, however because of her first testimony my husband's lawyer subpoenas her to come. My husband was found not guilty of assault. This happened in August of 2006. My Divorce will be final in a couple of months. I have not spoken to my sister since this all has taken place. She is now planning a wedding of her own. She is getting married in September of this year and has asked me to be in her wedding. She had my niece ask me because of our relationship at this point. It was very hard for me to get through the fact that my sister betrayed me for my husband. I think I have forgiven her, however I don't think our relationship will ever be the same. I have prayed about this a lot. My question to you all is should I be in her wedding? My initial response was yes, because I believe in forgiveness, however forgiveness is "giving up the hope that the past could have been any different" I learned that from Oprah. I have forgiven her, however I do not wish to be a part of her life. My family says that I should put all this aside and be in her wedding, however I just don't feel this is what I want to do. I would like to mention my sister and I were close prior to this. I think my sister had a thing for my husband and was hoping for something between those two, but that was never my husband's intention. What should I do? Please advise me as to what to do about my sister and her wedding. Sincerely Annette

I think she needs to not ask outwardly and seek her answer within

Who makes this stuff up?

only if her sister buys that ugly ass bridesmaid's dress and those shoes that need to be dyed to match said ugly ass dress.

Tough situation. I think it's good when people publically side with the truth, if indeed the truth is that she hit him first. But the story says she accidentally poked his eye. Now, it may have been more than that (she may have hit him first) but still the husband should never hit her back, in my opinion, because he's stronger than her and because it's just plain wrong. Also, the story says he had hit her before and she may ar may not have hit him in the first instance but if he has now hit her twice that is very wrong. So, the sister can side with the sister in this case because it seems to me that she's innocent. The fact that she didn't is betrayal. However, since the questioner is obviously religious she should forgive and move on. I think she should have a conversation with her sister about her feelings of betrayal and tell her sister she would like to forgive her and repair their relationship, and then she should do it and be in the wedding. If anything comes of it it will at least be her noble character for being mature and forgiving.