so usually when i wake up i walk to the bathroom with my eyes closed and open them in there.

this morning i couldn't!! when i tried to open them they burned like HELL. so i'm like ok relax for a second and try open them again. SAME!! so i get out of the bathroom, go back to my bed and put my face on the pillow (don't know why).

then i raise my head and slowly try to open my eyes. now they sting even fucking MORE that my face almost got busted from how tightly i am pressing on them. so i get outta bed running and my fucking pajamas stick to the edge of the bed, get ripped, and lose me to bump my freakin face on the wall. Great fucking day so far.

so i get outta the room yelling for anyone who's awake and i find my mom and i'm like I CANT OPEN MY EYES. and she's like huh? i'm like I CANT THEY HURT and she's like did you put your finger.. and i'm like NO MOM I DID NOT THEY JUST WONT OPEN. and she's like ok ok sit down and let's try to take this slow.

so then she's like ok try to open one of your eyes slowly. and that's when i realised i can't even know which eyes is fucking which!!! and i'm like I CANT MAKE OUT WHICH IS WHICH MOM I CANT!!!! and that's when i went into panic.

then i'm like ok listen, you try open them for me like you'd do a sleeping cat. and she's like who'd do that to a cat? and i'm like OK FORGET THAT JUST PLEASE OPEN THEM FOR ME. and she's like ok ok alright. so then she tries, but i'd only press on them tighter and she's like ok relax your damn face so i can open them!! i'm like ok. but still won't open. and i almost start to cry "i'm going blind".

so then she asks me to sit still and wait till she gets back, i stand up to follow her and she yells "NOW YOU ARE MAKIN ME FUCKING BLIND TOO SO SIT THE HELL DOWN!!" so i sit. then she comes back and puts those warm tea bags on my eyes for 10 minutes then says ok now i'll try open them for you slowly and i'm like what if the tea stings me? and she's like yea coz i rubbed lemon on them GODDAMMIT STOP BEING A BABY. so i shut up and let her take care of business. so she then raises my eyelid a little and i could see her face!!!!! and then my eyes start to go into this awkward nonstop blinking untill they finally widely opened and i could see again!!!!

and then i get this big grin on my face and she's like yea NOW you smile you drama queen

then i'm like ok listen, you try open them for me like you'd do a sleeping cat. and she's like who'd do that to a cat?

so what was actually wrong with your eyes then?

DanceWme said:

I found that part really funny too.

As for the eye thing, I've had that happen to me too. It took a good ten minutes or so before I could see again. Not sure what causes it but I figured it might be draft, because it did feel sort of the same way as when I've been sailing for a long time, only worse.

i don't know what caused it but i sure hope to God it won't happen again

you guys now i'm feeling guilty over the cat thing

I am glad you're OK.

I cannot believe you type the way you talk. "I'm like" this and "she's like" that.

RodeoSchro said:

thank you &

I'm like


glad you're ok though

PricelessHo said:

It's not what you said about the cat that was funny, it was what your mother said. Such a hilariously irrelevant comment (and yet typical of mothers). I'd go "Just forget about the friggin cat, okay? I'm going blind here!"

retina said:

my favourite bit:

and i'm like what if the tea stings me? and she's like yea coz i rubbed lemon on them GODDAMMIT STOP BEING A BABY

I'm glad you're alright. That is scary!

jami0mckay said:

jami0mckay said:

yeah, why did that happen with your eyes?
scary stuff!

veronikka said:

i don't know really it was awkward.

and she's like yea coz i rubbed lemon on them GODDAMMIT STOP BEING A BABY. so i shut up and let her take care of business.




I love your mom!!!!!

Wow that is scary! I sure am glad you are okay...let's hope that doesn't happen again!

glad you're alright hun

that's fuggin scurry...

How come you cant open you eyes? what wrong?

PricelessHo said:

Well thank goodness your mom was around to help you out

PricelessHo said:

your mom is fucking hilarious

PricelessHo said:

I would so do that too.... I hope ur eyes r better now


Dislexia edit
[Edited 12/4/07 10:10am]

Note to self


Never leave my cum-rag next to my pillow. Harmfull if rolled over on it with my face.

jami0mckay said:

This reminds me of the time I squeezed lemon on my wonderful greek meal and it squirted straight into both my eyes and I sat at the table like a mole looking for water or a napkin. I finally had to call for help

Glad you're OK P-Ho!

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Is that what happened?!

It's something to happens to people sometimes like sleep paralysis.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

OMG! You are too funny! Poor guy

aww thanks everyone

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

oh no