WTF???

I have one huge problem. I found out my husband had cheated on me with a man. I found out in the most horrible way. My mother-in-law told me about it. But here's the thing. She didn't really "tell" me about it, she showed me. One night my so called "husband" told me he was going to "hang" with his guys and you know drink beer and watch the game. We'll it was about 4 or 5 in the morning when he got home. He said that they fell asleep watchin' some football movie. So I excused it. Then about a month after that, my mother-in-law called me up and said she had VERY important to show me and to come over as soon as possible. So the next day I went over the next day. We went to her computer, and she showed me a video of 2 men gettin' it on in a hotel room. And the date was from that same night when my husband went out. It turns out it was my husband and his "best friend". I confronted him about the video and he confessed. After I saw that video I decided to see if there was more of him and other guys, or possibly girls. Sadly, there was one other. Then after I confronted him about the second one, he deleted them from where ever he had them. My "husband" and I sat down and had a talk. He officially decided he was fully gay. So we decided to file for divorce. But the only problem I had with that that I forgot to mention earlier was that I am 5 months pregnant. I want my daughter to have a good life with her mother and father married and happy. But how am I supposed to do that with a gay husband? Should we get divorced or stay together because of out child? PLEASE HELP! --Pregnant with gay husband



If his mother had showed her the video, then I would say the mother knew all along he was gay

Humans are FREAKS - it' really that simple

maybe he thought he was bi going into it. he definitely should've told her, though.

Mach said:

Mach said:

Is that a good freak or a bad freak?

Janfriend said:

Baby I can be any kinda FREAKY ya wanna be

Janfriend said:

I'm curious to know why his own mother would show this video to you and how she came across it in the first place??

Just be the best mom you can be and your child will love you for that.

really sad. sad she had to find out that way. sad that there is a child involved.while being fully aware of having a child on the way he did all this messin around-i wonder if he even bothered to used protection. this is not a game . people have to be more honest with themselves and each other as well as responsible.

well if it was that simple janfriend.

many people feel pressure to hid who they really are.

heybaby said:

once again it's not that simple.

i have a friend who has a gay father and several friends who were married at one time. society and family pressures forces people to hid who they are. we have to change the precption of sexuality in society if this is to stop.

Empress said:

thats what i questioned when i read this. i get the feeling she wanted to start some mess-which she did. It really wasnt her place to do that.

I worship Andrew Ridgeley and occasionally watch LOGO...does that make me like 10% gay?

This is not that uncommon. One issue with homosexuality is that it may take people a long time to come to grips with it. Oft times it's when they decide to get married in order to make it go away (hey I got married and had sex with a woman...I MUST be straight). Most of the time the marriage is what really brings the homosexual tendencies to the forefront.

They ought to get a divorce or work out some sort of arrangement for the sake of their child. Who's to say that she can't be a single mom or get remarried. I think right now she's in the thick of it and is trying to think of a way to remedy the situation. She isn't willing just yet to give up the hope of a good family life with this guy.

And to add, many women that suspect their husband might be gay, refuse to believe so.

GottaLetitgo said:

I'd say that makes you around 50% at least!

An ex-best friend of mine *is* that husband. Only he's still married, his wife doesn't suspect (That I know of), and he has a 2 year old daughter.

I give him 5 years tops before he bursts.

ehuffnsd said:

Whaaa?

Cloudbuster said:

i know might sound odd.

Imago said:

That is so sad..for him, her and their daughter.

superspaceboy said:

i believe it. when a person is in love they are blind to alot of things. they really need to get the divorce and work things out for the baby that coming.

ehuffnsd said:

shanti0608 said:

Sad for her and the daughter, not so sad for him. He has a clear choice in the matter and has been deceiving his chosen family for years now. That's not sad, that's pathetic.

shanti0608 said:

the only it's sad for their daughter is if the parents can't come to agreement on how to raise the child without either parent make the other sound like one is the enemy.

shanti0608 said:

Yeah.

I feel alot of guilt over it cause I might have had he opportunity to warn her. I mean, she's married to an illusion, and it will tear her apart when it finally comes "out". And I believe it WILL one day be reduced to that. Who wants to live their life thinking it's perfect to find out it was an illusion?

But I didn't really know her and never met her. He moved to South Carolina when this all went down. Plus I also thought that "outing" him was also unfair, as I was the only human on earth (he didn't even tell his mom who he was "uber" close to) that he revealed this "inner conflict" to.

He's kind of tortured and stuff.

CarrieMpls said:

i have to disagree with you. the fear of losing ones family and loved ones sometimes prevents people from being honest. it's easy to pass judgement when one hasn't been faced in that situation.

CarrieMpls said:

You are right...I guess I feel a different type of sadness for him.
Sad that he feels like he has to live a lie.

Imago said:

i don't think she isn't aware. she may not acknowledge. knowing and acknowledging are totally different.

ehuffnsd said:

20 years ago I'd have agreed with you. In this day and age I simply can't.

CarrieMpls said:

whereas some parts of the country have progessed others have regressed. not everyone is in a place where they are accepted.

Imago said:

It is HIS place to tell her...no one else. He will be tortured and stuff as long as he keeps this lie from her.

Don't feel guilty for his shortcomings and lies.
He needs to be held accountable for his actions.
[Edited 11/28/07 11:14am]