I'll chalk most of that up to you being a little hyper-sensitive about this topic, because i get why you would be. Teen parents ALREADY LOOK BAD. There was ALREADY a problem if the teen GOT PREGNANT. This isn't a religion thing coming from me, don't get it twisted. I've got a 15 year old son, and if he knocks some girl up then it's on ME. I FUCKED UP. DIDN'T DO MY JOB. WAS A SHITTY PARENT. Period.



And if you calmed down and read what i wrote i said that there are tons of shitty parents NOT just teen ones. I feel the same way about single parents and i happen to be one. So i'm not just talking shit, and feeling that i am superior or anything I'M TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE.

Being a parent is hard, PERIOD.
Even if everything is as it should be, and you're married and happy and stable, your kids can still turn out fucked up. It's a crap shoot.

But when you're single, the odds get worse.
If you're single AND a teenager, MUCH WORSE.

So all of this PC crap where people shouldn't tell other people how to discipline their kids, or discipline other peoples kids, is BULLSHIT and ISN'T HELPING.

So i'm not trying to insult you, but i'm speaking to the issue.
And AGAIN, whether you see it or not, you going after this teacher for portraying teen pregnancy as a NEGATIVE when it clearly IS ONE, is WRONG and SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE.

That doesn't make you a bad mother. But it might make you a VERY YOUNG GRANDMOTHER.

I'm sorry you and your son had to go through that Moni
I was also a teen mom and don't consider myself a bad mother and have done the best job I can do with raising my daughter. Sucks that so many people talk bad about teen mothers because there are a lot of us out there that are good mothers

ButterscotchPimp said:

No I am not going after this teacher for portraying teen pregancy as a negative..I am glad they have such classes in school, I just don't like how she said ALL teen parents end up hating their kids etc. That is the part that offended me and my son. I tell my son all the time if he got a girl pregnant his head would be on a stick...but you said things like I was almost telling him to go for it! There you are wrong!

I myself have been a single parent, a married parent, so trust me I know all the hardships! But I will never once say that I am not PROUD to be the parent I am, young or old when it happened!

You have a right to your opinion and I will respect that! But read my post, I am not saying teen pregancy is a good thing! Trust me I know, I lived it! I would never wish it on any young man or woman! I am just saying, the teacher shouldn't have said what she said...All teen parents end up hating their kids! What the heck?

U know what was a great scare tactic..well for me anyways?


STD slide shows



that made me not want to even look at a boy

MoniGram said:

Look. I'd MUCH rather have a teacher telling my kid that, than being SOFT ON THE ISSUE. It's an EPIDEMIC.

It's the reason teen violence is at an all-time high. Crime. Ignorance. Stupidity. It's ALL connected.

So, back to my original point WE BOTH HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THIS.
YOU by being a teen mom.
ME by being a single dad.

IT NEEDS TO STOP.

And it starts by addressing the issue at hand.
It's NOT OKAY to be a teen parent.
And we should be doing WHATEVER WE CAN do make our teens see otherwise.

And if it means a teacher has to tell my kid that I FUCKED UP TO DO IT, so be it. I'll OWN IT.

So should YOU.

I think I understand what the teacher was trying to do but her choice of words and methods were terrible (if in fact she did say things like "teen parents end up hating their kids").

Can't people get it through their heads that using scare tactics does not work?? It never, ever has.

It's a shame that teens are not talked to rationally, and with respect when dealing with topics such as sex education.

If they were educated properly and not given blanket statements or scare tactics maybe this epidemic would get under control a bit.
[Edited 11/29/07 8:36am]

ButterscotchPimp said:

Well I could fight all day with you about this subject, and like I said, I respect you for your opinion, and I will say it's great to have parents out there like you. Parents need to work together to keep their kids out of situations like that. That is probably why I am so into my kids lives, because I don't want them to live what I lived.

But can you plese see this...how do you think my son felt, sitting in her class, and he had to hear "ALL TEEN PARENTS END UP HATING THEIR KIDS!"? Since his Mother was a teen mom! It upset him, hurt him, and offended him! Because he knows the hardships I faced, he knows how hard I worked for my children, and he knows everything I gave up for them!

So for you to say I don't 'own up to this' is wrong! I do, that is why I busted my ass to take care of my kids! That is why everything I have ever done in the last 22 yrs has been for my kids!

I just didn't like a teacher telling my son that ALL teen parents hate their children! That just isn't so! Many of us, saw the mistake we made, and decided to take the harder road. It would be so easy for many of us to give our children up, or get abortions etc.

But once again, I don't believe in teen pregancy, far from it! It has been the hardest job I have and will ever do in my life! I went thru hell and it is something I wouldn't want my own kids to deal with! So yes..lets teach these things in school, but lets remember, that one of those students could be a child of a teen mom! That's all I ask!

So...think what you want, you have that right! But I know, and I lived it! So for you to sit there and judge me, is exactly why I got so upset!

JustErin said:

Exactly..that is why I have been trying to say all along! It was how she handled the situation.

MoniGram said:

Sure, i can understand that it was upsetting to you and your child. I get that.

The problem is? The teacher COULD end up being RIGHT.

I'm sure your child loves you as i'm sure my son loves me.

BUT will both of our children at some point maybe harbor some resentment as a result of the hardships they've had to face from how WE brought them into the world? You can't say that it's not a possibility!

So, really is what the teacher did SO wrong? I don't think so. I get that it's not easy for you and your child to deal with it. But i'm sorry. I think MORE teachers need to be sending that message. And i certainly don't have a problem with a teacher giving my son that message.

You know, when talking to students about teen parents they should bring in a teen mother/father to discuss just what it's like...straight up, the hardships, the sacrifices, etc, etc...

Teens will listen to a peer long before they will listen to some adult that is constantly telling them what to do all day.

JustErin said:

and that is what this teacher should have focused on

ButterscotchPimp said:

The teacher was wrong in how she tried to get her point across. I would also be very upset had my daughter heard that teen parents end up hating their kids.

MoniGram said:

Sure, i can understand that it was upsetting to you and your child. I get that.

The problem is? The teacher COULD end up being RIGHT.

I'm sure your child loves you as i'm sure my son loves me.

BUT will both of our children at some point maybe harbor some resentment as a result of the hardships they've had to face from how WE brought them into the world? You can't say that it's not a possibility!

So, really is what the teacher did SO wrong? I don't think so. I get that it's not easy for you and your child to deal with it. But i'm sorry. I think MORE teachers need to be sending that message. And i certainly don't have a problem with a teacher giving my son that message.

You know, when talking to students about teen parents they should bring in a teen mother/father to discuss just what it's like...straight up, the hardships, the sacrifices, etc, etc...

Teens will listen to a peer long before they will listen to some adult that is constantly telling them what to do all day.

That teacher is stereotyping all teen mothers and putting them into the same category, and that is just WRONG on so many levels. I'm not even a teen mom, and I was offended that someone would be so closed-minded that they would actually think this way!!!! I don't know you personally, but I'm sure you're an excellent mom. I don't blame you and your son for being offended, I would be too. The teacher needs a good talking to, that's for darn sure. I give you credit for wanting to talk to this teacher, and to set them straight. Let us know how it goes.

Last night, when I picked my son up from basketball practice, I asked him how his day was etc...and he proceeded to tell me something his Science teacher did that left me very pissed off!

This week is sex education week at his school, and the subject of yesterday's class was teen pregnancy. The way his teacher handled this subject offended my son a great deal!! The teacher said, that ALL teen parents end up hating their children, wishing they never had them! And those teen parents will never amount to much!

Well guess what, I was a teen mother, and I love and adore my children a great deal! Now I can understand that this teacher was trying to scare the kids in her class from having sex, and letting them know what can happen if you do have sex. But this woman looked down upon ALL teen parents, and not all teen parents are bad! There are some of us that did pretty good raising our children! And I feel this teacher should have made that point, but instead she made teen parents sound like they were scum of the earth!

I also feel the way the teacher handled this subject in her class was in a way that not only looked down on people like me, but scared the girls in her class enough that if they did get in that situation they would feel so scared they wouldn't tell anyone that they are pregnant! Well guess what people, it's words like that, that cause those girls to throw their babies in trash cans etc! Because they are so afraid to talk to anyone, because at one time someone told them things like this teacher did!

I guess if it was me teaching this class, I would have handled it in a whole different way. I wouldn't promote teen sex, or pregnancy, but I would have told them that teen pregnancy is a very hard road, and it's not something glamourous etc! But I would have never looked down on those kids who did get themselves into that situation, I would have pointed out more of the hardships they were facing etc. Like not going out anymore, or possibly not going to school any longer, or the fact that they hold this tiny baby's future in their hands!

Maybe it's just me, maybe I am to close to the subject! But not all teen mothers or fathers are bad. Yes, there are those few bad eggs out there! But I refuse to be put in that bunch! I worked damn hard to take care of my kids, and yes they aren't perfect, but they are pretty great kids!

So anyway..there is my vent of the day! I plan on contacting this teacher today, and telling her how badly she offended my son and that I feel she needs to address the class again, and handle the situation better.

MoniGram said:

Hey I know (thru your posts) that you adore your kids and that they are great people because of it.....just kills me how in the dark people STILL want to keep kids about the reality of life out there...they call it protecting them, but if anything it just sets them up for failure....you and your son have every right to be ...

psychodelicide said:

Thank you!

The teacher made a mistake by saying "all" but it really isn't far from the truth when a young person finds themselves losing out on their freedom, their childhood and their life. Resentment is a real issue most people just don't talk about. And it's true that most teen parents education is very affected by being a parent at such a young age. Many don't recover and spin off into poverty and struggle and pass that same baton to their children..

I think it's really important to discuss and explore those issues

.
[Edited 11/29/07 12:51pm]

This subject could not be closer to my life if it tried.
When I was 17, I got pregnant with my son Angel. My boyfriend (now husband) was 21, our very Catholic Mother's had fits and said that we must get married right away "to make things right". We married 23 days before our son was born. We have now been married 24 years and counting and could not be happier. Our son is now 24, graduated with honors from California Polytechnic University, he majored in Journalism. He was offered a job and hired by The Santa Barbara NewsPress, the largest paper in Santa Barbara, 3 weeks after graduation. He is a successful young man, he is my shining star.