Last night, when I picked my son up from basketball practice, I asked him how his day was etc...and he proceeded to tell me something his Science teacher did that left me very pissed off!

This week is sex education week at his school, and the subject of yesterday's class was teen pregnancy. The way his teacher handled this subject offended my son a great deal!! The teacher said, that ALL teen parents end up hating their children, wishing they never had them! And those teen parents will never amount to much!

Well guess what, I was a teen mother, and I love and adore my children a great deal! Now I can understand that this teacher was trying to scare the kids in her class from having sex, and letting them know what can happen if you do have sex. But this woman looked down upon ALL teen parents, and not all teen parents are bad! There are some of us that did pretty good raising our children! And I feel this teacher should have made that point, but instead she made teen parents sound like they were scum of the earth!

I also feel the way the teacher handled this subject in her class was in a way that not only looked down on people like me, but scared the girls in her class enough that if they did get in that situation they would feel so scared they wouldn't tell anyone that they are pregnant! Well guess what people, it's words like that, that cause those girls to throw their babies in trash cans etc! Because they are so afraid to talk to anyone, because at one time someone told them things like this teacher did!

I guess if it was me teaching this class, I would have handled it in a whole different way. I wouldn't promote teen sex, or pregnancy, but I would have told them that teen pregnancy is a very hard road, and it's not something glamourous etc! But I would have never looked down on those kids who did get themselves into that situation, I would have pointed out more of the hardships they were facing etc. Like not going out anymore, or possibly not going to school any longer, or the fact that they hold this tiny baby's future in their hands!

Maybe it's just me, maybe I am to close to the subject! But not all teen mothers or fathers are bad. Yes, there are those few bad eggs out there! But I refuse to be put in that bunch! I worked damn hard to take care of my kids, and yes they aren't perfect, but they are pretty great kids!

So anyway..there is my vent of the day! I plan on contacting this teacher today, and telling her how badly she offended my son and that I feel she needs to address the class again, and handle the situation better.



Well my son's teacher called and she was nothing but sorry! She said that what she said wasn't her own opinion but the opinion of the program my son's school chose to teach from. She agreed with me that it was wrong to say that about teen parents etc..more so since her little brother became a Father at the age of 18. She said it really bothered her that she offended my son, because she thinks the world of him, as all his teachers do. She was going to apoligize to him in person, and address her 8th grade Science classes and help them understand that not all teen parents are bad, but at the same time promote that teen pregancy is not a good choice! She agreed that there should be an actual teen parent in the classroom at the time when this subject is brought up. She said that I should talk to the Superintendent's office about the program they are using to teach about teen pregnancy. So..I plan on setting up a meeting with this office.

I want to thank everyone on here who supported me!
[Edited 11/29/07 10:47am]

you are a beautiful wonderful soul and mother

I can understand you being upset at her opinion and way of getting her point across ( or not ! )

I am often bothered by that aspect of we humans - like "I am better ... you are not" and that comming from a teacher goodness

I 100% agree with what you've said, It will be interesting to hear what they say after you contact them.

Sorry that u and ur son got offended.

What his teacher said was messed up. My mom had me when she was 18. And she did her best and a good job at raising us.

There are parents out there who have kids in their 20', 30's and 40's who are horrible. SO putting teen parents down like that was straight out wrong.





Beat her ass!

My daughter's friends jokingly call her ASBO as myself and my wife were teen-parent who until recently lived in a council area. We keyed their cars.

I wish you were my momma ... I'd go all Oedipus on you

seriously ... that teacher needs a lesson !

Mach said:

Thank you Mach

jami0mckay said:

Trust me as soon as I get done talking with this woman, you all will be the first to know!

DanceWme said:

I so agree with that! This whole thing just makes me so damn MAD!

iloveannie said:

One4All4Ever said:

Well hopefully I will get my point across and she can see if from my side! Not all us teen parents are bad eggs! I was 15 when I had my eldest, and my Mom reminded me that it was I who made this choice, and I took care of my baby! Gave up everything for my kids! Only now that they are older am I finally doing things for me!

People in general and especially teachers should think before they talk about things in a way they probably don't intend to come across. From what you shared here on the org you seem to be a very loving and wonderful mother to your kids .

Serious said:

Thank you

Well that teacher needs some talking to Moni, and you are just the person to do it, you are a wonderful Mom

I totally agree with you 110%, I was just mad reading this..

Good luck, let me know how it goes dear

MoniGram said:

babooshleeky said:

Thanks Chrissy!

That would piss me off too. You're right to give her a piece of your mind. For your sake (and hers ) I hope it was all a misunderstanding. If not, rip her to shreds!!!!

It's great that teens learn about sex ed., they need 2 learn early! We all experiment in life when it comes to sex! But as far as the teacher puttin'
stuff like that in 2 their heads,that is just so uncalled for! "Moni", U need 2 go 2 the School Adminastrator or Board of Education and file a formal complaint ! Good Luck and stay a beautiful person and a Mom !

Sorry.
I wholeheartedly do NOT agree with you.
Which is part of the reason this world and in particular this country is SO fucked up right now.

Look. I don't know you. So i'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're a great mom.

The VAST majority of parents AREN'T.
And the likelihood of teen parents being shitty parents is even higher.

So DUH, being a teacher, the HIGHER RESPONSIBILITY is to make these kids understand that being a parent when still in your teens IS TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS. It's an EPIDEMIC.

Now i get how this could be a touchy subject for YOU. But again, look at the bigger picture. You've ALREADY (or at least it sounds like) on some level, inferred to your child that being a teen parent isn't that bad. By reacting in this way, whether you want to admit it or not that's the message you're sending. SO you've ALREADY put YOUR child in a position where they're MORE LIKELY TO BE A TEEN PARENT.

NOT to mention with the higher incidents of STD'S among young people in today's society, i mean wow.

I'm sorry that you got knocked up as a teenager, and it's great and all that you're taking care of your child (you're SUPPOSED to), but it's certainly nothing to be PROUD OF and you shouldn't be implying to your child that it should be.

I know that's not going to be the popular sentiment on this thread, but it's my opinion.

ButterscotchPimp said:

not too nice of you to say, especally when you don't know the situation or the WONDERFUL Mother she is.....

let me stop here.....:

ButterscotchPimp said:

That's right you DONT know me! And for you to write this and say I have given my child a reason to become a teen parent, well sadly you are WRONG! I have told all my kids that is not an easy job, that it can suck, and it was the hardest thing in my life! All my children understand this, and for the fact I raised two daughters before this, and neither one of them became a teen Mom..then I have done my job THANK YOU!

I guess you just didnt' understand what I was saying, I DO NOT promote teen pregancy and for you to think that makes you even more stupid then this teacher! I don't feel there is one teen parent that is going to tell their child it's okay to become pregnant at a young age!

My whole point was this teacher made teen parents look bad, that it was okay to look down upon teen parents! Well guess what it's not! No one should be looked down upon, whatever situation they are in. So for you to talk that way, just showed me what kind of person you really are!

And if you read my post you would have seen that I agree not all teen parents are good parents, but there are alot that are! But it's just not teen parents who are bad parents..read the posts, it doesn't matter what age you are, you can still be a BAD parent! We aren't bad people, we just made a choice that effected us for the rest of our lives! I was one of those teens that took and still take very good care of my children! So not only did you insult me as a teen parent, but you insulted me as a Mom and as a person!

Who are you to say I shouldn't be proud of being a teen Mom? Where do you get off? Yes I was young, but I did a DAMN good job! But once again you don't know me, you only read that I was a teen Mom and chose to look down on me! That is exactly what that teacher taught in her class yesterday! But I am a 36 yr old woman who does not feel it's your right to talk down upon me! You have a right to your own opinion, but next time why don't you think before you talk! Walk in my boots for a day and maybe your opinion would change!

Monigram, your post is spot-on. The teacher's sentiment is well-taken, and it doesn't seem one that you fundamentally disagree with. But her 1940s-era use of hyperbole and outright lying undercuts the truth in her message.

Set her straight, and report back to us.

babooshleeky said:

Look.
Like i said, i'm sure this won't be a popular post on this thread.
Luckily, i'm not here to make "e-friends".
I post on topics that interest me, and this is a pet peeve of mine.

Now, I didn't call her a bad mother. I don't know her at all, so i can't say that she's a good or bad mother and with that said i tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.

The fact remains that teen pregnancy is an epidemic that is causing ALL kinds of havoc on our society PERIOD. It's NOT something to be proud of! It's not something we should be telling our kids it's OKAY to do!

So this teacher is doing his/her job trying to steer kids in the right direction, and just because this particular person happened to get preggers at 15 and it worked out FOR HER, she's pissed that someone told her kid that it's SOMETHING TO AVOID????? WTF???

And this is me being nice and pretty non-judgemental, actually.

MoniGram said:

Well said my dear

ButterscotchPimp said:

First off I never told my kids it was okay to have sex! I said it was wrong to look down upon people! Sorry if I am trying to raise kids with some heart!

And the teacher didn't say you should avoid it...she said that ALL teen parents are bad parents! That is why I am mad! She made teen parents look bad, that we are scum and we are not!

Once again I dont promote teen pregancy! I have raised all my kids that having sex at a young age only causes problems! It breaks my hearts to see young Mothers because I know the hardship they will have to deal with!

So don't you sit there and say I feel it's okay for my kids or any teens to have sex. I just feel the teacher could have said things in a different way!

Lammastide said:

I just want the teacher to get it across that teen pregancy is a hard job, but the people that are doing it, aren't always bad. I don't feel such a prejudice should be taught in school!

MoniGram said:

Look. We can argue about this, but we are not going to agree.
In YOUR mind the teacher was telling these kids to "look down on teen parents". I'd bet that wasn't exactly the message. The problem is, there's not a real way to warn kids off of teen pregnancy without making teen parents look bad for one thing. IT'S IRRESPONSIBLE. It is. There's NO way around it.




I'll chalk most of that up to you being a little hyper-sensitive about this topic, because i get why you would be. Teen parents ALREADY LOOK BAD. There was ALREADY a problem if the teen GOT PREGNANT. This isn't a religion thing coming from me, don't get it twisted. I've got a 15 year old son, and if he knocks some girl up then it's on ME. I FUCKED UP. DIDN'T DO MY JOB. WAS A SHITTY PARENT. Period.



And if you calmed down and read what i wrote i said that there are tons of shitty parents NOT just teen ones. I feel the same way about single parents and i happen to be one. So i'm not just talking shit, and feeling that i am superior or anything I'M TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE.

Being a parent is hard, PERIOD.
Even if everything is as it should be, and you're married and happy and stable, your kids can still turn out fucked up. It's a crap shoot.

But when you're single, the odds get worse.
If you're single AND a teenager, MUCH WORSE.

So all of this PC crap where people shouldn't tell other people how to discipline their kids, or discipline other peoples kids, is BULLSHIT and ISN'T HELPING.

So i'm not trying to insult you, but i'm speaking to the issue.
And AGAIN, whether you see it or not, you going after this teacher for portraying teen pregnancy as a NEGATIVE when it clearly IS ONE, is WRONG and SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE.

That doesn't make you a bad mother. But it might make you a VERY YOUNG GRANDMOTHER.

JuliePurplehead said:

Me too!

IrrisistableRich said:

I'm sorry you and your son had to go through that Moni
I was also a teen mom and don't consider myself a bad mother and have done the best job I can do with raising my daughter. Sucks that so many people talk bad about teen mothers because there are a lot of us out there that are good mothers