So I have this friend and it's kinda a case of when she's good, she's GREAT.

But when she's bad, she's SATAN.

And most of the time she's bad because she's either hung over, coming down or just plain exhausted from whatever debauchery she was out committing the night before.

She treats a select few of us in the group like crap then worships the ground the others walk on.

When she gets jealous, it's like a shark that smelled blood - she won't stop til that person is brought down. Same with anger, she just zones in on them. It's scary and everyone knows it so they go out of their way to tread carefully around her which means no one can tell her anything when they want to. This also means she can say what she likes to us and do as she pleases to us.

I don't put up with that and I've suffered about 4 fights with her this year. She keeps trying to change me and says I need "help" if I talk to her about one problem. Then she gets more angry if she doesn't see a "change" in me. THEN she'll say so why are YOU angry at me? She's a genius manipulator.

She also makes my problems hers whenever I tell her, then wonders why I decide not to tell her something. I told her a whole bunch of stuff once and she started saying "I'm so stressed out cause of what you told me etc".

GAAAAAH.

So in the last few weeks she hardly spoke to me and I didn't pursue it, just went about my day normally. Then she did something really shitty to my friend so that gave me even more reason not to speak to her. Today on msn she says "Why the fck do you hate me now?". I said I didn't and that I had to go [i did] but I really don't wanna deal with another fight all over again.

I am me and I'm sick of her trying to morph me into what she wants all the while never changing her own wild ways that hurt everyone around her way more than they hurt herself.

So does anyone have any tips as to what I can say to her or do?

To top it off the bitch just wrote shit about me on someone else's myspace.

purplesweat said:

Say that to her then make a choice to move on or to stay knowing that you can't change another unless they desire to change themselves



best wishes



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[Edited 11/29/07 5:27am]

offer her a peanut butter and grape jelly sammitch

Tell her that life is too short to go through emotional wringers with her. Tell her that if she can't treat you the way you treat her, then you'd just as soon not have a relationship.

I would keep your distance. You don't need a friend like that. You deserve better. She's talking behind your back and doesn't take your feelings into consideration. Who needs a friend like that?

My solution to your problem is a very simple question.

Why is this person your "friend"?

It doesn't sound like this person is a friend to you. They may or may not have been at one point, i don't know that's for you to answer.

The point i'm making is this person isn't a friend to you NOW.

SO therefore, why continue?

I don't think that everyone is supposed to be everyone's friend.
Everyone isn't designed to be in everyone's life forever.
We are all on different paths, and have different problems that will affect who we are at a certain time, and sometimes we have to go our separate ways.

I usually do this.
I keep an equation in my head.

It's almost like a seesaw.

If i become convinced that i'm not getting out of a relationship (that applies to friends, family, lovers, etc) the energy that i'm putting into it, then there's no reason for it to be there.

Now, sometimes it fluxuates. Sometimes you need more, sometimes they need more. People go through bad stretches. But if it becomes a PATTERN? They're constantly taking and not giving anything back? DONE. FINITO. OVER.

My suggestion to you?
Tell this person you don't want to be their friend anymore and move on with your life. You'll be happier, and life is way too short to put up with bullshit from people that don't deserve you.

purplesweat said:

Dear Lord I went through the same thing. I tried to just ween myself off of this person because I didn't want to feel her wrath, and it came anyway. It wasn't as bad as I expected (she did call me a transvestite on someone's myspace page ) and honestly it's so much better to not have her in my life anymore. Everyone knows she's crazy and annoying as fuck and they all laugh at her behind her back. People she calls her "best friends" come to me and vent because they cannot stand her.

I say stay away from this person. She's not a good friend and will only try to bring you down. Life is too short for that shit. Good luck.

ButterscotchPimp said:

This is very true. We seem to go through the same thing over and over.

Thank you [and everyone] for your advice. VERY helpful.

I need to cut ties with her, it's just gonna be tricky with so many of her friends being mine too.

purplesweat said:

Well, your "real friends" will understand and continue to be your friend. Anyone that gets shaken off as a result of this, wasn't a friend to begin with.

You deserve BETTER.

ButterscotchPimp said:

Thanks, this has made me feel MUCH better about the whole thing

purplesweat said:

Ignore the cunt.

horatio said:

Wost reply...ever