SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I agree with you mate, there are many issues and fear is a strong motivator i agree. Much to work on, however as we both said the old adage is a good start.

Oh, but if it were only that easy to accept one's own homosexuality and to come out in a positive environment that accepted you, and if only you weren't stigmatized for it. Then this sort of thing wouldn't happen.

My wife 'found out' about me when she found the Smiths t-shirt in my cupboard. She may not be the world's authority on music but she knew enough to know that straight buddies don't send each other anything to do with Morrissey just to be matey. We talked it over and decided to still get married.

Fauxie said:

I had no idea Dan was into Morissey!



You better be joking because if you're not you are cheating on your wife if I ever make it to Thailand

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Fauxie said:

I've given up on you as anything more than a part time paramour...one who's nappy dugout beckons me from time to time of course.

Wow! That is a sad story!!!

greenpixies said:

Thankfully she now knows and she can be responsible in all her future choices

ehuffnsd said:

Then why in the hell did he have sex on video and leave the evidence where his own mama could find it?

He wasn't trying to protect anyone...gay or straight, this man cheated and hurt his wife and unborn child.

The issue isn't really that he's gay, it's that he cheated and had so much disregard and disrespect for his marriage that his stupid ass videotaped the whole thing. I mean really...if he was so concerned about his wife and child he would not have cheated period.

He hasn't really done anything to the baby. IT's not even born yet

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

it'll be born soon enough and it's not like he didn't know she was pregnant. This guy is pretty guilty here...she needs to divorce him, take what she can get, and move on. He has enough issues to deal with.

Whoa, I've definitely been here.

My moms cousin is a preacher whose been married longer than 25 years and has 3 kids. The youngest 15, the middle 16 going on 17 and the oldest just got married recently..


A few months ago his wife found out that he had been cheating on her with 6 different men, most of whom he met on the internet? This was devastating to alot of people in my family.

This has caused more than just his marriage to split up and has put his family in debt as he has stolen alot of money from his wifes banking account.



25 years and you wait until your oldest is 15 to decide (to announce) you're gay?
I don't understand at all.
And also, how hypocritical of him? He is a preacher who gets up in front of crowds of people and preaches that homosexuality is wrong. (I'M NOT SAYING I THINK IT IS.) but then he does exactly what he's saying not. It's safe to say he's not a preacher anymore.
[Edited 12/1/07 20:14pm]

Imago said:

JasmineFire said:

it's easy to pass judgement when you've never had to experience life as a coming to terms with his sexuality gay man.

Wow, you guys blew this thread up!

ehuffnsd

I understand everything you have said and I agree with you that no one wants to be gay and they may get married to try to "fix" those feelings, however, I do believe once he cheated on his wife (with a man or woman) he should have been honest with her and told for no other reason than to protect her. He obviously these feelings did not happen overnight. He had to have been feeling them for a while. I can understand the fear on losing a family and all that, but I think in this time we are in, 2007, that is a "ghost" fear. People fear it because it has happened to others in the past, but one can easily have a neutral conversation with friends and family to see how they stand on the issue and decide what to do from there. Coming out is a personal choice that no one should be forced to do, but a person can easily (if they choose to) not come out. It doesn't mean must get married and deceive the other person involved. I think it's wrong to get another woman involved. Now, if he truly never had those feelings before he got married, he should have been open with his wife about his feeling. Who knows how well of a communicator the wife is.

Mach said:

ehuffnsd said:

A person can hide without getting married

Byron said:

50% gay is ok as long as they tell the other person. All they gotta say is "Look, I'm half gay."

Janfriend said:

like i said earlier with the Cher example she is a gay diva she has gay friends however when her own daughter came out it was an issue. same with my family, yeah they are cool now and probably much cooler than most parents where when i cam out but there was still an issue and on some levels there still is one.

yeah it might be 2007 but not every place in the country is as liberal as we'd liek to think it is. Look at what the Republicans used to get people to the polls in 2000, 20004, and 2006 gay marriage admendments.

we have a youthcenter in SD set up those kids who get kicked out of home when they come out. it's still a very REAL fear and REAL situation. you are right when he was confronted he should have been honest. however i understand the reasons people get married, though you may not ever understand the realities of being a gay man it's not as simple as you want to make it.

i'm sorry i hate to say it but you won't ever fully understand.

another thing. last year at my paternal grandmothers funeral i had an aunt get up and change her seat because she didn't want to set next to me because i'm gay. i never told my dad's family because i knew how'd they react. only reason they found out was i was bringing my bf to the funeral...

Q: How in the hell can women be with a gay dude and NOT know it?

JasmineFire said:[quote]
Then why in the hell did he have sex on video and leave the evidence where his own mama could find it?

[quote]



I have a feeling he used his mother 2 tell the wife.

Graycap23 said:

It could have been on xtube or youporn or redtube and mama was getting her groove on and saw her son....or someone sent it to mom in order to out the son

Graycap23 said:

Well obviously the male 'friend' hadn't yet sent her husband a Smiths t-shirt or that shit would have been way out in the open.

SaraWright10 said:

Um, it's not that he suddenly decided to be gay, it's that he decided to finally come out. Big difference. People don't decide to be gay - they are or they aren't.
[Edited 11/29/07 6:32am]

Janfriend said:

I'm sorry, but it's not. One of my friends came out last year and hasn't seen his family since. He talked about it with them, and they were cool with the concept before it applied to one of their own. Now no one in the family talks to him. And this is in liberal urban Canada. Thankfully one of his female friends (who has a gay brother) took him in and now brings him to all her family functions, including Thanksgiving, Christmas dinner, etc.

He effectively has no family. His fears were very real. I know you have the best intentions, but I wish people wouldn't think that it's somehow easy, because it was hard for me, and none of my gay friends (many of whom now have strained or no contact with their families) have ever told me it was easy. But they knew they had to do it.
[Edited 11/29/07 6:32am]

VoicesCarry said:

I think until people really talk about it in reference to their own children/family you just can't know where they stand. I had a conversation recently w/ some pretty close friends about the web & kids, etc. I was AMAZED @ how homophobic everyone is, & these are CLOSE friends!! Maybe I'm just jaded living in the Bay Area & being an artist-type, most of the people I hang out with are pretty open & what I consider "normal". But mf's change up when it comes to their kids, & they were basically saying they would shut their kids down before they'd allow them to just be themselves (if they turned out to be gay). It was really eye-opening, & wrong. I'd rather have my kid know they could come to me with something confusing/difficult/not so welcome in the rest of the world & know that I LOVE THEM b/c they're my child. But sadly everybody doesn't feel that way, even in 2007...

CalhounSq said:

CalhounSq said:

if more people were like you we wouldn't have this problem

ehuffnsd said:

Here's the kicker on that - not only will I probably not have kids to be all wonderful to, but I could barely get a word in with 4 moms going at it nonstop so I really didn't change any minds that day.