so, im sitting here by myself today... its the first time i've been alone since thanksgiving. i came here to take my mind off things, but thats not working, so, instead i'll share.

thanksgiving morning around 9am my time, my sister Jill lost her battle with cancer. she was diagnosed with breast cancer 11 months ago and went through the mastectomy. she was just 12 days away from having her reconstructive surgery when she told my mom she wasnt feeling well. she said she was certain that the cancer had moved to her brain. my mom was shocked and told her that that surely couldnt be the answer, as that would be so terribly fast. but, my sister went to the hospital 4 days later, just like she said she would if she wasnt feeling better, and they did a CAT scan. the results came in that it had infact moved to the brain, they said there were 4 spots that they were working with.

they were going to do the radiation treatment and do everything they could do to fight the cancer, but when they tried to build the mask she needed to have the radiation - she couldnt lay down without throwing up. within a day, she couldnt move her head an inch without throwing up. she was growing weaker by the day.... so, they decided to do surgery on the largest mass, along the base of the brain (but not AT the base of the brain).

they removed the mass and thought that they had reached a good point in her healing and would then move on to treatment. mom flew back to be with her for her surgery. within a week, she was back to throwing up and being unable to move her head at all.... we recieved a phone call telling us that she was being takin in to the hospital because she was dehydrated.

they did more testing, the next day, the doctors came and woke my sister up and told her she had 1-4 weeks to live. the cancer had spread down her spine and entered into the base of the brain. there was no treatment and she would be moved to a hospice bed in a 24 hour a day care center because she could no longer be alone...

we got that call on that tuesday night, we started driving out wednesday morning for michigan... we arrived about 2 am thursday morning. we went to see her early that morning and we were told that she would be unable to respond, but could still hear us. when i went in, i was so scared, i didnt know if i would be able to handle seeing her that way. my sister and i are very close. but, when i sat down, she opened one eye just barely to see who i was... then both eyes popped open and she smiled the BIGGEST smile for me, tried to lift her head, and whispered a great hello. talk about touching my soul!!

we visited with her as much as we could, we had great time with her, and tried to close things as best we could. we left very teary eyed and began our drive back home.

we did get a very special phone call from her, my other sister went in and held the phone for her to talk... we told her how much we loved her and that we were thinking of her everyday, she told us she loved us all very much.

when i asked her if there was anything i could do for her, she said three things... 1. i have to get out of this room, i want to get out of here. 2. dont worry, in a few days all of this will be worked out. 3. send someone to pray with me....

i did what she asked and called to have someone in to pray... she died a day and a half later, at about 10am on thanksgiving morning.

my sister was such a loving woman, she was a teacher, a mother of 2 girls now 16 and 12, she was a great sister and truely beautiful soul, she will be missed greatly

I'm very sorry.

I've had discomfort in my left breast for about a month now and I keep putting off having it checked. After reading this, I'll be making an appointment on Monday.

Again, I am sorry for your loss.

aww honey im soo sorry

I'm very sorry to hear that.

Touching thread.

If you ever need a chat.

I am so sorry for your loss. my oldest sister is currently going through her second battle against breast cancer and I am terrified for her.
I am so glad you were able to fulfill her requests before she passed. Okay, i gotta stop now, starting to cry.
God bless your family.

Oh my ... filled with tears and praying for your peace of mind m'lady!!

I'm so very sorry for your loss nekkie

s my friend

If you ever want to talk or need a shoulder.

My thoughts will be with you and your family

Deepest sympathy

Kelly I am so sorry for your loss my thoughts and positive energy are coming your way.

Oh...honey... I'm welling up here.

I'm so, so very sorry for you and your family. I'm in Michigan, so if there is anything I can do to help make things easier, please contact me.

You and your sister have my thoughts and prayers.

i'm so sorry

Beloved you and your family have my deepest sympathy and prayers. @)-}-----

My cousin is battling breast cancer too.

so sorry, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

Ohhhhh NPP I am sorry

So very sorry for your loss and the loss to your entire family.

I am so incredibly sorry.

Your sister sounds to have been a very brave lady.

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

This is such a deeply heartbreaking story. My tears are hot and angry at the devastation cancer brings to so many. Peace to you and your family.

thank you all so much, it still seems so unreal, i cant believe shes gone... my sister was just 45 years old...so much more life to live in front of her.

i appreciate all of your kind thoughts so very much

Dearest Kelley,

I am SO DEEPLY SORRY for you and your family's loss. You all are in my prayers.

oh sweetie

I am sooo sorry.

call me if you need to talk K?


big hugs to you and the kids.

I can only say I am sorry, each time another person gets touched by this monster we inch ever closer to helping more people. I am sorry your sister found out too late, I am sorry she suffered.

My heartful prayers are with you and your family at this terrible time. God bless.