The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by a male flight attendant who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came strolling down the asile and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the plane shortly so please put up your trays."
On his trip back up the asile, he noticed that a very well-dressed woman hadn't moved a muscle.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over the engines. I asked you to raise your tray so the captain can land the plane."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Put the tray up, bitch."

on a flight goin from n.y. to l.a.
after the captain was done with his announcements
he tturned to his co-pilot and said
"weeell, i guess i'll go take a shit
then fuck one of the stuardesses."
he had failed to cut off the cabin mike though.
the flight attendent hearing this rushes toward the cockpit, but falls in the aisle next to an old woman.
the lady looks at her and shaking her head says,
" oooh relax Honey, you heard him say he was gonna take a shit first."