I am a 44 year old black man who up until about 2 months ago resided in Detroit. My family and I have recently relocated to Suburban Houston, TX. It is truly one of the greatest moves I have ever made. We have truly been blessed. However my problem is with my younger brother. He is 40 years old. The way he treats our mother is truly sinful and outrageous. I have in fact told him this. His issues (he says) are directly related to how he feels my mother treats his children. He and his wife have 4 children. Their ages range from 18 down to 8. Steve honestly to my knowledge my mother has never made a difference in the way she has ever treated her grandchildren. He says that my mother doesn't have any pictures of his kids up at his house. But he nor his wife has ever presented a picture to my mother for her to display or a wallet size to carry around in her purse. His children do not call my mother on holidays, mother's day, etc. He no longer calls my mother either! This to me is such a sad situation. I recently told him that he and I can longer communicate since he chooses to speak about our mother in such a disrespectful way. He says "she stuck on stupid". He tells me to tell our mother that don't nobody want any of her money. Well let me tell you Steve she aint got no money for anybody to want! But when she has had an extra dollar she has always freely shared it with my brother and I. How many of those dollars thru the years do you think he has ever declined and told her to keep? NONE!! His oldest daughter graduated from high school a few months ago. Me nor our mother received an invitation. Then he has the audacity to try and check my mother for not having bought her a gift. He says that if anybody gets outta line with him he gonna let em know about. He aint letting nothing slide no more. These mind you are directed straight at his mother! He told me one day his 8 year old son asked to see our mother and he told the kid his grandmother don't wanna be bothered. Your name aint "Miles"(that is my 4 year old son's name) and your sister's name aint "Piper"(that is my 7 year old daughter's name).What type of foolishness is that to say to a child about their grandmother? I am going to end here. I could go on for at least 2days with the things he has done. Steve I started to post his entire letter onto your site but I think you get my drift here. You would've been truly appalled at what you would've read! Man I aint kidding. Aint nobody gonna tell me that the devil aint alive and well out here! I love my brother, I really do. But why would I be inclined to check a stranger for disrespecting my mother on any given day, but let it be ok for my brother to do it? I think not... What else could I possibly do??


Here's my take. Not every parent is a good parent. Some parents play favorites and treat their children and grandchildren differently. This is only one side of the story. What if the brother has some resentment issues or even a valid reason for treating the mother the way he is?
[Edited 11/8/07 22:15pm]

I would really have to hear ( read ) the words from the other brother and the mother as well to even begin to assume

Mach said:

True!!

Janfriend said:

yeah there are two sides to everything.
I wonder if she would have wrote the letter if his kids were getting the attention.
I have seen this in families though and there are alot of situations where other family members aren't aware of how they are spoken of in their absence. It seems like grandma always talks about Piper and Miles, and it also seems like the brother resents this. Maybe her talk is why he doesn't send the pictures. Maybe he is protecting his children from getting a hurtful message from the mouth of their grandmother. I know in my house I am careful about what my mother says sometimes around my daughter. She can be very insensitive and hurtful and I have to sometimes step in there, away from my child of course, and tell her that that wasn't cool.

anyway there is alot more to this story then her side I am sure.