New topic
Printable| Author | Message |
HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT TAKE IT OFF
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine." He lost 63 pounds that week. | |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
 Rhythm floods my heart♥The melody it feeds my soul | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
veronikka said:  I couldn't stop laughing when I read it LOL | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I sent a dirty joke to my oldest brother last night ..just before having to sit through my daughters violin concert ...anyway half way through he sends me a picture of a whistling fanny (lips moving and everthing) ....I nearly died  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
LMAO! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| This is so funny..... you just know Kylie didn't come up with it....
| |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
pardonme4livin said: This is so funny..... you just know Kylie didn't come up with it....
(#*$#*&@($& | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ocean said: pardonme4livin said: This is so funny..... you just know Kylie didn't come up with it....
(#*$#*&@($&   sillydopeykiwis!!! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
pardonme4livin said: Ocean said: (#*$#*&@($& sillydopeykiwis!!! shut it MANWHORE | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ocean said: pardonme4livin said: sillydopeykiwis!!! shut it MANWHORE 
Am not.....  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
pardonme4livin said: This is so funny..... you just know Kylie didn't come up with it....
HATERRRRR | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
jess555ja said: pardonme4livin said: This is so funny..... you just know Kylie didn't come up with it....
HATERRRRR Like Scooby says.... Reapin' it real.....  I guess you had to be there..... | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
pardonme4livin said: jess555ja said: HATERRRRR Like Scooby says.... Reapin' it real..... I guess you had to be there..... I guess so . . .   | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
|
Ocean said: TAKE IT OFF
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine." He lost 63 pounds that week. 
 Do you have the companies phone number?
  I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality   |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
jess555ja said: pardonme4livin said: Like Scooby says.... Reapin' it real..... I guess you had to be there..... I guess so . . . He's losing his touch | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Steadwood said: Ocean said: TAKE IT OFF
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine." He lost 63 pounds that week.
Do you have the companies phone number?
| |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ocean said: jess555ja said: I guess so . . . He's losing his touch Ohhhhh..... 
 | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
pardonme4livin said: Ocean said: He's losing his touch Ohhhhh.....
I think ever should relabled that thread to Biggest Unsuccessful Manwhore | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ocean said: pardonme4livin said: Ohhhhh.....
I think ever should relabled that thread to Biggest Unsuccessful Manwhore bitch.....  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
pardonme4livin said: Ocean said: I think ever should relabled that thread to Biggest Unsuccessful Manwhore bitch..... 
| |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ocean said: pardonme4livin said: bitch.....
Has your thread been successfully hijacked yet?.....
 Aalllllrightythen..... | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
|
Ocean said: Steadwood said:
Do you have the companies phone number?
Does that mean No? 
I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
pardonme4livin said: Ocean said:
Has your thread been successfully hijacked yet?.....
Aalllllrightythen.....GRRR This got sent to me yesterday (from the ladies at work ) ...its rather rude.....but not for u 
A woman slips naked in the bathroom does the splits and ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny. Her husband tries but can't budge her..so calls his mate who says "I'll go get a hammer , we can break the tiles and lift her." The husband says "ok I'll lick her ear and play with her tits while your gone". Why? says his mate. The husband replies "If I can get her wet maybe we can slide her to the kitchen where the tiles a fucking cheaper.! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ocean said: pardonme4livin said: Has your thread been successfully hijacked yet?.....
Aalllllrightythen.....GRRR This got sent to me yesterday (from the ladies at work ) ...its rather rude.....but not for u
A woman slips naked in the bathroom does the splits and ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny. Her husband tries but can't budge her..so calls his mate who says "I'll go get a hammer , we can break the tiles and lift her." The husband says "ok I'll lick her ear and play with her tits while your gone". Why? says his mate. The husband replies "If I can get her wet maybe we can slide her to the kitchen where the tiles a fucking cheaper.!  A practical fella.....
Rude....but not for me?
..... oh yeah that reminds me... | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
|
Ocean said: pardonme4livin said: Has your thread been successfully hijacked yet?.....
Aalllllrightythen.....GRRR This got sent to me yesterday (from the ladies at work ) ...its rather rude.....but not for u
A woman slips naked in the bathroom does the splits and ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny. Her husband tries but can't budge her..so calls his mate who says "I'll go get a hammer , we can break the tiles and lift her." The husband says "ok I'll lick her ear and play with her tits while your gone". Why? says his mate. The husband replies "If I can get her wet maybe we can slide her to the kitchen where the tiles a fucking cheaper.! Silly Bugger 
He should have got her to give him oral... ...that way the air pressure would have forced her off the tiles 
I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Steadwood said: Ocean said: GRRR This got sent to me yesterday (from the ladies at work ) ...its rather rude.....but not for u
A woman slips naked in the bathroom does the splits and ends up suctioned to the floor by her fanny. Her husband tries but can't budge her..so calls his mate who says "I'll go get a hammer , we can break the tiles and lift her." The husband says "ok I'll lick her ear and play with her tits while your gone". Why? says his mate. The husband replies "If I can get her wet maybe we can slide her to the kitchen where the tiles a fucking cheaper.! Silly Bugger
He should have got her to give him oral... ...that way the air pressure would have forced her off the tiles
| |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |