when you know they don't feel the same way back.

Would you do it anyway? Just to let them know, to get it out?

I told Byron I was madly in love with him

He left the Org for months

This is a serious thread.

I'm not talking about falling in love org-wise.

from my point of view...yes, it should be said even if it's not reciprocated...I've done it before and yeah it felt shitty 'cause I knew she didnt feel the same way...but she knew where I stood from that point on...

JustErin said:

I was SERIOUS



anyway - YES _ I would ... have

I was unloved in return

This thread makes me sad

thanx alot

Yes. You might be wrong; they may love you as much as you love them.

Besides, there's nothing better one person can do for another than to tell them they are loved.

It depends on the situation and the person. Though I never tell someone that I have fallen in love with them.
I have told someone I loved them first before not knowing if they loved me back...it just sort of came out.

roodboi said:

But then you risk changing the dynamic between the two of you. They probably want to back off after hearing that...and that sucks. But I still think letting them know is best.

Mach said:

I'm sorry.

Never tell your boyfriend you're in love, unless you know he loves you first.
Telling some one you love them too soon is a sure recipe for being taken for granted. Keep your cool, keep him wondering

RodeoSchro said:

They don't feel the same back...at least their actions indicate this.

paintedlady said:

I'm not talking about a bf/gf situation.

I want to say that yes, you should say it, but I know that it's not easy. I have done it and it was not pleasant

JustErin said:

Probably the best advice I've heard is, "You'll regret the things you don't do much more than the things you do".

JustErin said:

It's okay I was kinda teasing

Telling people can really change the dynamics - sometimes not for the best

So I thik it's important to think about which is goingto make us feel better - telling them to get it out or not shifting the dynamic of the relationship

JustErin said:

hmm...I understand about changing the dynamic....but wouldn't that dynamic be under false pretenses if nothing is said...I know its a crappy situation but when it comes to love (if thats truly what it is) this is one of those times when things are not better left unsaid...

RodeoSchro said:

Great advice.

I've hinted around about it. Ya know, the old, "I really care about you" and stuff like that.

But I think I am gonna full out say it, face to face.

roodboi said:

I think he actually really knows how I feel - even though I play it totally cool with him. He just chooses to ignore it and just keep on keeping on.

JustErin said:

Then go for it.

The story of my life


I always reach a point where I know the friendship can't continue the way that it has been due to the way I feel. So I end up having to "simmer down" a friendship to simmer down my feelings. In doing so, I feel I'm obligated explain why I'm pulling back as a friend. It sucks, but they always understand. And oh yes--it changes the dynamic of everything.

When it's happened to me, it's always been very very awkward when the person reveals their feelings for me. I've had boys and girls pour their souls out to me, more or less hoping that I would feel the same--they never seem to sense that my feelings aren't the same. Odd


I'm actually planning a dinner with Jerseykrs and his new girl the end of November where I pour my heart and soul out to him.

Telling them will help you get over it yourself. If you know they don't feel the same, then at least they know where they stand and be mindful themselves in how things go between you going forward.
Of course it's going to change things, for a while at least. But you'll end up pining away in misery much longer if you don't just get it out.

CarrieMpls said:

You need to call me! You have some feelings you need to resolve pronto!

no, never again

Imago said:

Projecting, much?

CarrieMpls said:

This is kinda how I see it.

The way it is now is cool and all. We see each other a 3-4 times a month. Talk often (although not as much as we used to). We sleep together most times we get together but really, we're just friends. I definitely feel jealousy when he is with others or talks about them - although, I never say or do anything about it since the jealousy is my issue.

I figure that telling him will cause him to just disappear and this way I will have no choice but to just get over it head on.

JustErin said:

It's kinda like ripping off a band-aid. I've done it in the past and it really is the catalyst for getting over it once and for all.
It still sucks.
But at least you can move on.

CarrieMpls said:

Ya, rejection sucks enough when you don't even care about the person...but when you really do...guh, shoot me now.

Oh well, I gotta put an end to this one way or another.

Ideally, I'd like to just get it out, deal with the rejection and then eventually be able to be just a good friend, without the sex.

JustErin said:

Good luck!

JustErin said:

well, if he thinks it now...he'll know it when you tell him...don't be afraid to tell him what you feel...
if you thought he was being a dickhead, I know you'd tell him that...
your emotions probably wont change anytime soon so just let him know...you never know, it may not change the dynamic, it may make it stronger...

RodeoSchro said:

Thanks.

The key is to say it at a moment that doesn't make it easy for him to take off without at least responding in some way....even if it is to just say, "look, I'm not comfortable talking about this".

Know what I mean?