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PrintablePANDURITO said: retina said: Even mundane things become infinitely much more enjoyable, like cooking for example, or watching tv.
 She cooks. You watch TV
That's how God wanted things to be  The religion is different in Sweden. 
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retina said: PANDURITO said: She cooks. You watch TV
That's how God wanted things to be The religion is different in Sweden.
move to Australia! women are allowed 2 husbands here! | |
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ZombieKitten said: Mach said: I can't even imagine expecting my 18 yr old to move out
 I moved out a week before I turned 18. I could not wait to get out and get on with my life. I really didn't have a choice but to leave to go study though, unless my folks relocated  Our oldest daughter started "leaving" at 16 - she would run away to her bio-mom's and then ask to come back - she moved out for good at 19 I just would never expect them to move out so young - as in almost force them to. Now if like you, they wanted to, then I would wish them well and help them in any way I could. | |
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Mach said: shanti0608 said: My mom had a few set of rules that she stuck by no matter what. I think she made me aware of the "moving out before 18" one when I was about 10 years old. That way I could start planning I guess. I never got in to trouble, she just had a rule and that was that. She was that type of parent..she was a single mom so she had to be the mom and the dad..she sure accomplished that. She wanted me to be able to live on my own, she did not help me buy a car and I had to wait until I had enough money for the car and the insurance because I was not allowed on her insurance policy. I do not think I will be that strict if I have a child. She took it to the extreme. Well she did it so I guess she knew that I could do it too. I really could not wait, she was very strict. I was already paying for my own clothes and groceries at home and working so it was better to be on my own. | |
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ZombieKitten said: retina said: The religion is different in Sweden.
move to Australia! women are allowed 2 husbands here! Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?
If you'd use one for chores and one for sex, I'd prefer to be the latter thankyouverymuch. 
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shanti0608 said: Mach said: I can't even imagine expecting my 18 yr old to move out
Well she did it so I guess she knew that I could do it too. I really could not wait, she was very strict. I was already paying for my own clothes and groceries at home and working so it was better to be on my own. Wow  I want my children young adults that is, to be able to focus on their education and enjoy just a bit more of non working life before they have to for the rest of their lives they both have worked some off and on but are not expected to
It sounds like for you that was the best thing  | |
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retina said: ZombieKitten said: move to Australia! women are allowed 2 husbands here! Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?
If you'd use one for chores and one for sex, I'd prefer to be the latter thankyouverymuch.  | |
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My family is totally cool with whatever crazy-ass shit I decide to do, as long as they think I'm being safe and happy. Moving in with a partner is the LEAST of it.
I'd never commit to somebody without living with them first. But then, commitment is kind of a joke anyway, so who cares. . . oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1! | |
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I can see benefits to both. I think some times when you live together first for a long time then get married, when you finally do it seems like not much changes. It is also kind of scary to live with someone without having a real commitment, not knowing where it is going. I think with some men they feel like why bother making a commitment when you live together first.
I always thought it would be sort of neat to do it the old fashioned way, no sex or living together first. I respect ppl that can do that. Whatever works for you. | |
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I don't really have an opinion on what other people do with regards to this subject - whatever works for them, really.  And unless I officially come out to my parents - even though I am sure they are well aware of my sexual orientation; but that's not going to happen a hurry - this really won't affect me much. Plus, I don't have a boyfriend to start with. I can just imagine my father's reaction if he came round and saw His & His bathrobes, though...  Maybe I should do it.  | |
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shanti0608 said: ZombieKitten said: I reckon if I had not moved out before I was 18 I would have been kicked out too. My mom had a few set of rules that she stuck by no matter what. I think she made me aware of the "moving out before 18" one when I was about 10 years old. That way I could start planning I guess. I never got in to trouble, she just had a rule and that was that. She was that type of parent..she was a single mom so she had to be the mom and the dad..she sure accomplished that. She wanted me to be able to live on my own, she did not help me buy a car and I had to wait until I had enough money for the car and the insurance because I was not allowed on her insurance policy. I do not think I will be that strict if I have a child. She took it to the extreme. Wow that's very strict indeed. Telling a 10 year old that she is expected to move out when she is 18 . I was such a spoiled child . But as you and your mom are still close it worked for you .With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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I am living together with my bf without being married for many years now. My mom and the rest of my family would want me to marry, but neither I nor my bf want it, so we don't care . I remember though that my sister got married because my dad didn't want her to live together with her bf in an apartment that belonged to him at that time  .With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A.... | |
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Serious said: shanti0608 said: My mom had a few set of rules that she stuck by no matter what. I think she made me aware of the "moving out before 18" one when I was about 10 years old. That way I could start planning I guess. I never got in to trouble, she just had a rule and that was that. She was that type of parent..she was a single mom so she had to be the mom and the dad..she sure accomplished that. She wanted me to be able to live on my own, she did not help me buy a car and I had to wait until I had enough money for the car and the insurance because I was not allowed on her insurance policy. I do not think I will be that strict if I have a child. She took it to the extreme. Wow that's very strict indeed. Telling a 10 year old that she is expected to move out when she is 18 . I was such a spoiled child . But as you and your mom are still close it worked for you .I had to learn to understand & respect her wishes. I just try to tell myself she did the best she could on her own. There were teen years that we did not get along so well. | |
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HereToRockYourWorld said: My family is totally cool with whatever crazy-ass shit I decide to do, as long as they think I'm being safe and happy. Moving in with a partner is the LEAST of it.
I'd never commit to somebody without living with them first. But then, commitment is kind of a joke anyway, so who cares. . . Not to me, it's not. |
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CarrieMpls said: HereToRockYourWorld said: My family is totally cool with whatever crazy-ass shit I decide to do, as long as they think I'm being safe and happy. Moving in with a partner is the LEAST of it.
I'd never commit to somebody without living with them first. But then, commitment is kind of a joke anyway, so who cares. . . Not to me, it's not. Ya, it's not a joke to me either. I may struggle with commitment issues but I want it...definitely want it. | |
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Funny I've been having this conversation with my fiance, her family is against it but live thousands of miles away an would never know if we did move in together.
I've lived with a girlfriend in the past and I've made the choice to live together once we're married. It's a respect thing. Respect for her parents and respect for her. I don't judge others, this is a personal decision to me. We'll be married and then we can live in the same house. | |
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JustErin said: CarrieMpls said: Not to me, it's not. Ya, it's not a joke to me either. I may struggle with commitment issues but I want it...definitely want it. I want it too (I think  ). I just don't think it exists in the real world. Who REALLY commits for better or for worse?
You marry some guy, and mean it. He starts beating you. That's WORSE. But you made a commitment. Do you stay? I hope not. That's all I'm sayin'. oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1! | |
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HereToRockYourWorld said: JustErin said: Ya, it's not a joke to me either. I may struggle with commitment issues but I want it...definitely want it. I want it too (I think ). I just don't think it exists in the real world. Who REALLY commits for better or for worse?
You marry some guy, and mean it. He starts beating you. That's WORSE. But you made a commitment. Do you stay? I hope not. That's all I'm sayin'. Yeah, but those are extenuating circumstances. And believe me, I'm a cynic about it too. I have a large distrust for men in general when it comes to commitment, but I'm trying not to. I know they can't ALL be bad or liars or whathaveyou. But I still don't think it's a "joke". Maybe it's just the wording you chose. |
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I am old fashioned and beleive in marriage not shacking up. I dont and wont be a "career girlfriend or and freind with benefits". | |
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People caught up in labels always crack me up. | |
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rachel3 said: I am old fashioned and beleive in marriage not shacking up. I dont and wont be a "career girlfriend or and freind with benefits".
not ALL men will take advantage like that - unbelievably there are some smart modern men out there too (admittedly quite rare ). I guess it depends how you look at it. I was never brainwashed with the idea that men only want one thing, my folks told me "you go get what you want, darling" and I was as much me having boys do what I wanted them to, until I got sick of THEM and moving on. | |
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CarrieMpls said: HereToRockYourWorld said: I want it too (I think ). I just don't think it exists in the real world. Who REALLY commits for better or for worse?
You marry some guy, and mean it. He starts beating you. That's WORSE. But you made a commitment. Do you stay? I hope not. That's all I'm sayin'. Yeah, but those are extenuating circumstances. And believe me, I'm a cynic about it too. I have a large distrust for men in general when it comes to commitment, but I'm trying not to. I know they can't ALL be bad or liars or whathaveyou. But I still don't think it's a "joke". Maybe it's just the wording you chose. Alright, let "joke" go. . . I think it's a delusion.
It's not about being bad or liars. I just don't think that you can ever make that promise to somebody if your brain is fully engaged. Extenuating circumstances are the rule, not the exception. The best we can do is promise to stay together for as long as we're both happy with life together. Which isn't really a commitment, is it? I still feel drawn to the delusion, but honestly, I'm trying to grow out of that. oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1! | |
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I'm happy to be talked out of that position, btw. It's just that nobody has managed yet. . . oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1! | |
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HereToRockYourWorld said: CarrieMpls said: Yeah, but those are extenuating circumstances. And believe me, I'm a cynic about it too. I have a large distrust for men in general when it comes to commitment, but I'm trying not to. I know they can't ALL be bad or liars or whathaveyou. But I still don't think it's a "joke". Maybe it's just the wording you chose. Alright, let "joke" go. . . I think it's a delusion.
It's not about being bad or liars. I just don't think that you can ever make that promise to somebody if your brain is fully engaged. Extenuating circumstances are the rule, not the exception. The best we can do is promise to stay together for as long as we're both happy with life together. Which isn't really a commitment, is it? I still feel drawn to the delusion, but honestly, I'm trying to grow out of that. I understand what you're saying. I guess commitment is not really the best word to use. I want to be in a serious, monogamous relationship (albeit not what most people would consider a traditional relationship) and I want to be able to very easily walk away if it doesn't work out. I'm committed to giving it the old college try but I'm not wanting to just stay in anything that is bad for my (or their) emotional wellbeing. I'm not one for struggling through a relationship simply because I said I would always be there. | |
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JustErin said: HereToRockYourWorld said: Alright, let "joke" go. . . I think it's a delusion.
It's not about being bad or liars. I just don't think that you can ever make that promise to somebody if your brain is fully engaged. Extenuating circumstances are the rule, not the exception. The best we can do is promise to stay together for as long as we're both happy with life together. Which isn't really a commitment, is it? I still feel drawn to the delusion, but honestly, I'm trying to grow out of that. I understand what you're saying. I guess commitment is not really the best word to use. I want to be in a serious, monogamous relationship (albeit not what most people would consider a traditional relationship) and I want to be able to very easily walk away if it doesn't work out. I'm committed to giving it the old college try but I'm not wanting to just stay in anything that is bad for my (or their) emotional wellbeing. I'm not one for struggling through a relationship simply because I said I would always be there. Sure. And "I promise to try" is not an insignificant promise, right? Trying is hard work. But that's not good enough for most people. And I guess my mind spins a bit trying to understand why that is. oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1! | |
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missfee said: My family are strong believers on the notion of "if you are female then you don't leave home until you are married" That's my family too. I still live at home. I guess I belive in it too. I don't think living with someone if you are nt married is wrong, but I don't think it's for me. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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HereToRockYourWorld said: JustErin said: I understand what you're saying. I guess commitment is not really the best word to use. I want to be in a serious, monogamous relationship (albeit not what most people would consider a traditional relationship) and I want to be able to very easily walk away if it doesn't work out. I'm committed to giving it the old college try but I'm not wanting to just stay in anything that is bad for my (or their) emotional wellbeing. I'm not one for struggling through a relationship simply because I said I would always be there. Sure. And "I promise to try" is not an insignificant promise, right? Trying is hard work. But that's not good enough for most people. And I guess my mind spins a bit trying to understand why that is. It's one thing when you say "forever" when you're 18 and don't know any better. It's another entirely when you say it when you're 30 and you do. And if you know you can't make it, then you don't. It's really quite simple. But if you do, then you'd better do your damndest to honor it. |
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