INSATIABLE said:

Well, there's a difference between staying the course and being stubborn.

well, i used to think otherwise.
but it's been over 10 years since i've been with a certain someone, and i admit i've never quite gotten over losing her.

i know she's happier, and sometimes i can go months without thinking about her.

but with that said, if she showed up on my doorstep right now i'd take her back with no questions asked.


so yeah, i fucked mine up.
royally.

If you ever lose your one true love, don't worry - you'll be reunited with them when you're floating around in a magical place after you die.

INSATIABLE said:

Well I'm an atheist, so go figure. I don't believe in a deity or luck or karma or what have you. I think we can find someone perfect for us, yes. And you can believe that no one could possibly be more perfect. And maybe you even feel that way the rest of your life. But what if you'd never met that person? Chances are, you'd meet someone else. And maybe it wouldn't be as perfect or maybe it would be even more so. You don't know, cause you havent gone down that path. I don't think this makes it any less romantic. Or any less real.

And I have experienced great love, btw.

CarrieMpls said:

I essentially agree with Carrie. Although I'm an agnostic. And I don't believe in perfection. But whatever.

Tell me, though: what is the value in "romance"?

Ace said:

If you're not bothered about it, then nothing. If it's important to you, then it could be everything.

CarrieMpls said:

I guess I'm asking why it would be important to anyone.

CarrieMpls said:

It doesn't make it less romantic or real.

Just because someone defines a person as 'the one' or any deviation of the sort doesn't mean they're screwed for the rest of their life. It's also a bad idea to think that way (for most people), considering that if something happens to end a relationship with their 'one true love', there'd be an understandable feeling of hopelessness and depression for the rest of their life. It's not emotionally healthy for the typical person, that's for sure. And it's defeatist as well.

Love's obviously not black and white. And placing people on pedestals or attaching definitions to people is dangerous. That being said, I've met someone whom which I compare each and every new possible partner. There's nothing I can do about this 'prototype' scenario. Then again, I've learned that my life shouldn't be void of love just because we're no longer in contact. Love is fun, sex is fun, all kinds of relationships are fun and make life seriously worth living.

INSATIABLE said:

So, by calling someone "the one", you're essentially calling them the best you've come along so far.

That's fair.

CarrieMpls said:

...as far as you know (unless you were in a long-term relationship with them - and if you were and they were so perfect for you, then why did you split?).

Ace said:

Cause it IS.

It makes me happy.
It's fun.
It's a great deal more fun than a lot of things in life.

I want the ooey gooey, butterfly tummy, can't-live-without-him thing in my life. I can be happy without it, sure. But I still want it.

CarrieMpls said:

In my particular case, yes and no. It can't possible be the same for everybody. I mean, there's none of that "I knew you in a previous life! We're DESTINED!" creepiness, but some people DO believe in that. It's just meeting someone so in tune that communicating with words is practically unecessary. A person who takes your life, turns it upside down, and shakes the living shit out of it. A person who makes you want to become a better version of yourself, immediately. I could go on, but....

Ace said:

exactly.

The phrase "one true love" implies that there is one perfect person for you out there and that this compatibility was somehow preordained. I totally believe in this concept and I intend to go out and find this person just as soon as I complete my letter to Santa.

INSATIABLE said:

Go on!

CarrieMpls said:

Couldn't this also be said of crack?

Yes twice!!

One cause i was being stupid especially when I had everything I can ask for with this person, and the second one I got mad at this person cause they were bringing up past stuff and being mean one night so I ignored their callfor a week while they were calling everyday leaving messages for me. While that time tha person got lonely and decided to move over 1500 miles away and still didn't recover from that yet!!
Really both of them

Ace said:

Yeah, but it's not nearly as bad for you.

CarrieMpls said:

If you say so.

cheeseburger said:

So you lost both of your "one true love"s? Wow, that's harsh.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

So you both think there is only ONE possible person out there who does this for you?

And if s/he happens to have been born in guatemala and never leaves and you never go there you'll just never get that opportunity in life?

CarrieMpls said:

Or what if they die before you meet?

CarrieMpls said:

Sounds right to me. Of course, I have much hard evidence to support my belief.

CarrieMpls said:

That's what the magical place in space is for, dummy!

CarrieMpls said:

Im not weighing in... Im reading... It is a great topic. I wanted to hear her view...

CarrieMpls said:

This is my eighth attempt here. Is the org screwing up more than normal for anyone else?

I believe I kind of already said this up there--that no, there can't possibly be ONLY ONE 'one'. Can you tell I'm using this term loosely? There's a lot of average schmoes on the street who could show you a good time. But one who seriously makes you want to be a better person? One who inspires and makes you remember what it was like to view the world without preconceptions? A huge rarity. I don't expect it to happen to me again, and I'm totally fine with that. It doesn't mean I'm not looking, though.

To compare, I'm kinda like the atheist who saw Jesus with my own two eyes. Does that make sense?

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't laugh in a guy's face if he told me I was "the one". (Unless we'd just met or something.) But it still only means, you're the one I want to be with. Not, you're the only possible person who could ever be matched with me in the whole wide universe.
And that makes it even more romantic, really. That they've chosen you over all else and everyone else that may come along (for a period of time, at least), when there's all that possibility out there.

well, she wasnt my one true love...but she was my first true love...

and I fucked it all up...

INSATIABLE said:

OK, I think I get you now.
You don't believe in "the one". But you believe it's rare for people to connect on that kind of level. That there are things out there that are rare and special and not to be taken lightly.
I'm down with that.
While I believe it can happen anywhere, any time, any day, with anyone, I also know it usually doesn't.

CarrieMpls said:

However 'incorrect' it is, I see the guy like that. He blows each and every other guy I've been with out of the water in many respects, but that doesn't mean he's alone in the world.

In fact, I know another guy who has the same effects and hope to forget about this damned guy as soon as possible, for sanity's sake.

I realize I'm using the definition incorrectly. All in all, the bastard's one seriously special person.