here's an example of a person (the original Wall Street Journal reporter) with too much time on his hands. even more time than we do, if you can believe it.

http://www2.bostonherald....102002.htm

SpongeBob's sexual orientation absurdly under fire

by Margery Eagan
Thursday, October 10, 2002








``There is something about `SpongeBob' that whispers `gay.' ''


So said the conservative Wall Street Journal in a front page story Tuesday, startling unsuspecting fans of TV's most popular kids' cartoon. The dim-witted but ever cheerful, super-absorbent and wonderfully named ``SpongeBob SquarePants'' lives in an underwater pineapple in a town called Bikini Bottom. He's a fry cook at The Krusty Krab and he chums around with Patrick, a starfish who's pink, which I guess buttresses the gay theory.

In any case, SpongeBob SquarePants ``is the biggest children's phenomenon to capture the imagination of gay men since the purple Teletubby named Tinky Winky started carrying a purse,'' and Jerrry Falwell's Christian right magazine felt compelled to issue a parental warning.

The Wall Street Journal reported all this after trolling Manhattan gay novelty shops. They not only found perennial best-selling Billy Dolls (the anatomically correct gay man's ``Barbie'' who has different occupations, too: cowboy, wrestler, a ``Billy Parcel Service'' driver, etc.). The paper also found shelves stocked with SpongeBob paraphernalia: lunchboxes, key chains, crackers, spongy dolls with little brown pants.

The SpongeBob fad has not yet hit gay Boston. At the South End's Marquis De Sade yesterday, Billy Dolls were everywhere but the clerk had no inkling of SpongeBob's supposed sexual orientation, silly as that sounds when you envision his gleeful face and adorable buck teeth.

``If it were here, there'd be a SpongeBob Bar or a SpongeBob Night,'' says Sue O'Connell, associate publisher of Bay Windows, the gay weekly, and co-host of One in Ten at WFNX radio.

``My experience watching as much children's TV as I do,'' she said, ``is that most kids don't get it (assuming there's something to get) and don't care.''

So here's the question: should anybody else? Will Falwell issue another parental warning soon? Will Southern Baptists boycott Nickelodeon, which airs the show? Should anybody worry that the reigning anti-hero of the 2- to 11-year-old set is somehow luring them into sexual experimentation?

Well here's what I've learned since the SpongeBoy ``gay whisper'' tale made headlines: that the gay world has for years claimed dozens of cartoon heroes as their own. And many of us, after logging millions of hours before the tube, had no idea.

``Daffy Duck is definitely gay. He's got that lisp,'' says Mark Poirier of Dorchester, a self-described ``happy homo.'' ``And everybody knows about Ernie and Bert.'' From Sesame Street, of course. They've shared a bedroom and baths for more than 30 years now.

``Then there's the Simpsons,'' said Poirier, referring to Wayland Smithers' unrequited passion for Homer's boss, Mr. Burns, who is, alas, still lusting after Marge.

``And Snagglepuss,'' says Poirier. ``He wears only a bow-tie and cufflinks.'' What's up with that?

Stephen Brophy argues persuasively on his Web site that beloved Bugs Bunny is either gay (as evidenced by his coy smooching of a horrified Elmer Fudd) or a transvestite. ``Bugs frequently uses his drag disguises to take advantage of the obsessions of his male adversaries.''

That's Elmer and Yosemite Sam, who are distracted over and over again by Bugs as Lana Turner or a helmeted Brunhilde in ``What's Opera, Doc?''

The affection between Shaggy and Scooby-Doo apparently is legendary. While most of us thought Peanuts' Patty lusted after Charlie Brown, others insist it's Marcie she really craves. And Patty does get moony over her.

The list goes on and on. Dr. Quest and his sidekick, Race Bannon. Batman and Robin. Timon and Pumbaa from The Lion King (Nathan Lane did Timon's voice). Tweety Bird, now doing his seasonal rendition of ``Twick or Tweety.''

From hyper-macho to the softest and squishiest cartoon characters, one after another, for decades, and what difference has it made to any child's adult sexuality?

None that I've heard of. We should remember this if and when somebody makes a fuss over the alleged sex life of SpongeBob Square Pants, the softest and squishiest of undersea darlings. Meanwhile, in the great tradition of Fred Flintstone: ``We'll have a gay ol' time.''

Who???

oh geez, first tinky-winky and now this...

Holy fucking shit... Spongebob is not gay... and if he is, so fucking what...

I think that people who worry so much about who might be gay are probably gay themselves and are ashamed.

Sad, really...

gooeythehamster said:

...dim-witted but ever cheerful, super-absorbent and wonderful...

Uhm...

He cannot be gay.
He has got no style!
I mean; white socks!
Only dorks wear white socks...
[This message was edited Fri Oct 11 10:12:54 PDT 2002 by gooeythehamster]

gooeythehamster said:

i'm ready, i'm ready, i'm ready...

man...spongebob's my guy.

gooeythehamster said:

lookin at my sox...heyyy...

...i'm proud of my dorkiness, thankyewverymuch...

PlastikLuvAffair said:

Maybe the David should wear white sox instead of a smiley?

GET RID OFF THE SMILEY!

And the white sox...

Um...Spongebob kinda sorta has the hots for Sandy Cheeks...a female land squirrel who lives underwater...sheeesh...

8)

Then again...they did have that episode where Spongebob and Patrick were the "parents" to an orphaned baby clam...and they were indeed acting like a "couple"...Hmmm...

:O

gooeythehamster said:

no!

pulls up her tube sox

Its probally the same guy that questioned
Ernie and Bert...

What will they come up with next?
What's worse is that there are people who won't allow their kids to watch the show anymore, so kids end up losing out.

DORA said:

yeah, i bet...

wellbeyond said:

i remember that one!!!

PlastikLuvAffair said:

So this is spongebob!

SpongeBob not gay, says creator

Move over, Tinky Winky: The gay community has embraced a new children's character, reports BBC Online. But the creator of SpongeBob SquarePants, a smash hit cartoon on Nickelodeon, says his cheerful character is not gay.

SpongeBob may be ''kind of special,'' but he wasn't designed to be a gay character, Stephen Hillenburg tells the Wall Street Journal.

So who is SpongeBob, anyway? He's a yellow sea sponge whose home is a giant pineapple. He lives in Bikini Bottom on the bed of the Pacific Ocean, and his best friend is a pink starfish called Patrick, with whom he frequently holds hands.

The gay community likes the show because it has a tolerant attitude, Hillenburg said.

''Everybody is different, and the show embraces that. The character SpongeBob is an oddball. He's kind of weird, but he's kind of special,'' he said.

``I always think of them as being somewhat asexual.''

Even if he WAS gay, god forbid kids have such a happy harmless character to entertain them. As opposed to all the straight and violent characters on tv...

O
F
F
S

and that's all I've got to say!

endorphin74 said:

co-sign!

OFFS?

What does that mean?

Jeez.

Will Falwell issue another parental warning soon? Will Southern Baptists boycott Nickelodeon, which airs the show?


Ahh hell they blammed shit on music, why not blame it on the
cartoons, what next...