Illustrator said:

That's cold

What the hell is a "fuck buddy"? If it's what I think it is, all I can do is paraphrase my British friends and say, "Erm....."

I think that cooking and love should be done with reckless abandon, life's too short and there's too many people on this planet.

More importantly, look at you, if he turns that down (along with your deal on the table) he's just an idiot and you can at least find a smart fuck-buddy, right?

RodeoSchro said:

A fuck buddy is a person with whom you have regular sex and a cordial social relationship but no emotional and commited attachment or whatsoever...they simply (and rather consistently) fufill your sexual needs randomly, then everyone gets back to their solitary "Team Me" life post-coitus. It's a rather cold arrangemnt,but it works for some people I guess.

RodeoSchro said:

It's typically someone you know only sexually. You just call them up when you're single and wanting sex. It's no strings and no emotional attachments.

Friends with benefits is similar but often feelings get involved because they become emotionally attached due to knowing each other platonically as well.

I've been in situation number one several times and it was no problem.

I'm in situation number 2 now and with this person - because we are also such good friends, I've fallen for him.

RodeoSchro said:

Saving head is important.
Saving face isn't.
At least in this particular situation.
The fact that she would be on her knees blowing someone who, at the same time of the BJ is also posting on the org,
and...
the fact that I'm falling in love with a girl who would do this,
is a clear indication that we both are the type of people who've thrown any sense of dignity & intregrity out the window long before we even met each other.

Ironically,
it is this logic that has made my heart fall for her.
Plus,
since I met her thru eHarmony,
a part of me really wants to feel like my membership fee didn't go to waste.

don't do it. if you ever want to be able to look him in the eye again, don't say it.

Ottensen said:

Seems rather short-sighted to me. I can imagine the emotions one would feel if one was walking down the street and encountered an old fuck buddy with his girlfriend. When asked who you are, the response, "Oh, just someone I used to fuck" would be awkward.

JustErin said:

Being friends is the basis for true love and a lasting relationship. So it looks like you've got the hard part over with.

Be confident. These things generally work out. It honestly is rare when one adult falls truly in love with another unilaterally.

Wow, that really sounded romantic, didn't it?

INSATIABLE said:

especially when you play private joy... right.. lol

RodeoSchro said:

Totally (if by "idiot" you mean a really smart, courageous dude).

i think you should totally do it, especially if you don't care about altering the dynamic of your friendship for the rest of your lives!

Ace said:

While I agree that he is one the most intelligent people in entertainment,
at times, he does tend to focus his laser- beam smarts so much into proving other people wrong,
that he can be pretty ignorant in certain areas ( such as his opinions on relationships & children).

Ace said:

Nah, sorry Boss Buddy, but I don't.

Illustrator said:

Ask him how he feels about aspirin sometime, LOL.

Anxiety said:

Smart-ass! The point is it is already altered (for her)!

Illustrator said:

What do you feel is ignorant about his views on those things?

RodeoSchro said:

What do you mean?

It only ever happened to me once I told him. He thanked me for letting him know, since he appreciated the honesty. Things kind of then went back to normal after that.

JustErin said:

the one guy I did fall in love with I didn't tell... two others I very nearly were in love with I DID tell and it backfired bigtime

while i mostly agree on telling him....i did that once and completely messed up a good friendship, at the time i thought because he didnt feel it too only to find out later that he did...course by that point i had moved on and dealt with the hurt i felt....anyway point is, it took us years to get back to something of a friendship like we had before

BabyGirl said:

okay I must admit that's one thing that can change

but telling that person is better than repressing it and all of a sudden spending less time with that person and avoiding that person/rejection and them not understanding. all the while still pining for them. that's not good either.

Cinnie said:

shouldn't one be able to manage one's feelings enough to be in control of an "altered" state of how one is effected by another person? to what extent is it another person's liability if i have feelings for them?

Anxiety said:

but that just reads like repression/pining over someone for years.

Anxiety said:

If you'd like to find out, I've just passed my bar exam.

Cinnie said:

or making a rational decision to let these feelings go for the sake of maintaining the friendship, and realizing there are tons of other fish in the sea whose baiting would not jeopardize a valuable friendship.

i'm not saying don't take the chance. i'm just saying that the stakes shouldn't be dismissed.

Anxiety said:

I keep thinking "but what about YOU" but losing that valuable friendship could be potentially devastating.

Cinnie said:

it's not like you can't tell ANYBODY. tell another friend. tell a family member. by all means, get it out of your system somehow. but just because you're in love with someone doesn't mean that you are automatically entitled or obligated to tell the person. i mean, what if you realized you were madly in love with your boss, or if you WERE a boss, what if you realized you were in love with one of your longtime employees? obviously, busting out that info would be considered inappropriate, but aren't the feelings the same?

Anxiety said:

Dude's got a point.

Ace said:

Maher thinks medicine is a hoax. He's big into holistic healing.