JustErin said:

Yeah. It's not an easy thing to say the first time. You'll know when the right time comes.

JustErin said:

use this he wont leave...

roodboi said:

He's really not being a jerk about it. It's just his way to ignore things so as to not have things change....like many of us do.

Or maybe he just doesn't think about it at all. Whatever I've said in the past goes in one ear and right out the other.

If you are serious, tell them.

roodboi said:

I think I scare him enough already...I best not even hint about doing anything like that.

roodboi said:

IF she's wrong about him not feeling the same, then it will definitely make it stronger. Alot of times, girls just assume we don't feel the same cause we talk to them like our 'buds'.

Bu then again, I've been weirder out by a few confessions because even though she claimed that she doesn't want anything to change in our friendship, that's an impossible reality after admitting something like that---even if I suspected it anyways. Something about actually saying the words changes everything.

Imago said:

We actually talk like buds. Our friendship is actually pretty great. I just know he doesn't feel the same way because he talks about other chicks all the time and really, if he was into me...he'd want to see me all the time like I want to see him.

But anyhoo....

Ya, I totally agree saying those actual words, face to face, changes everything...or at least it better.

ok..ok...
I know you love me...

can we move on now???

JustErin said:

Go for it. Life is too short to not say what you feel

I would

roodboi said:

I said that I slept with this dude...if we had slept together you would be begging me to love you.

JustErin said:

OUCH!

JustErin said:

shanti0608 said:

heehee...

JustErin said:

My on-again/off-again girlfriend talk like buds. But we're not.

I think I should just marry her, so we can move past the dreary cycle and escalate our experience to true hatred, ire, and apathy.

It would be interesting to see how fast he tells you he loves you if you stopped sleeping with him.

My grandmother always said "why buy the cow when you get the sex for free".

Imago said:

Mars23 said:

That won't happen. But he does have a tendency to be more friendly when I back off a little....but I just thought all guys did that.

I sleep with him because I enjoy it, not because I want him to like me.

"I dunno...that's an awfully big matzo ball to be hangin' out there, Georgie."

I wouldn't, but then again I don't "fall in love" (unless you count falling in love with myself ).

Setting aside the issue of what "falling in love" means, why do you think letting them know is best?

Ace said:

Nice, I actually thought about that episode.

I believe it's for the best because I am thinking it will bring some finality to the situation and right now, I think I need that.

It's most likely gonna go like this.

I'll tell him (probably after some fun times), he'll not know what to say and will leave then I won't hear from him and I'll just have to start to deal with the rejection. It's not like I haven't been through something like this before. I just need to get the ball rolling. I don't like feeling something and being afraid to let it out.

Part of me think it's pointless to say it, as I know how he feels, but part of me just needs to have him take off so I don't continue feeling this way.

I'll really miss the sex though.

JustErin said:

What are you hoping for, ultimately, out of this relationship?
[Edited 10/30/07 9:03am]

I wouldn't be the one to say it first, I would be too afraid of not hearing it back

Ace said:

Oh man, this is where I am gonna look odd.

I want a very casual, but exclusive relationship. Meaning, seeing each other a few times a week with maintaining separate lives for the most part. I don't wanna shack up or now do everything together. I like the way it is now, just wish it happened a bit more often and that he wasn't sleeping with anyone else or at least wanting to. Mostly though, I wanna hear the same thing back.

JustErin said:

Why is it important to you to "hear the same thing back"? Given your statements about the relationship, this seems highly unlikely. If it's closure that you seek, you'd probably be better off issuing an ultimatum that you will stick to.

Why not just invest in a good vibrator and live life happily ever after?

Ace said:

interesting.... and makes a good point, why jump off that cliff if it's unlikely you'll hear it back?

statuesqque said:

maybe because she has some small shred of hope that she may hear it back......unlikely doesn't always equal impossible...

Ace said:

Why is it important? Because doesn't everyone want to love and be loved? Wanting to hear it back does not mean that I think that I will actually hear it. I know I won't. But I just feel I need to let him know how I feel. Call me weird.

My choices are not just this guy or a vibrator.

I just need to get out more.
[Edited 10/30/07 9:21am]

JustErin said:

I know what you're saying, its not easy, far from it infact but imo best in the long run.

jami0mckay said:

Fuck, now that I really think about this. I wonder if I am just confusing me caring a lot about him and wishing things were a certain way with being in love with him. Maybe I am just infatuated with him.



I've only fallen in love twice...but I was in relationships with them.

Ugh.

I dunno.

JustErin said:

There's nothing odd about it at all!
And there's nothing wrong with asking for what you want. And frankly, you deserve it. If not from him, then someone else who can give you what you're looking for. So by saying it and asking, you'll find out if he can do it, or if you need to start looking for someone else.
Ultimately, you don't know if you don't try.