The dreaded "L" word I think has cooled things off greatly. Mostly on my part. I am embarassed at having admitted it.
I kinda wish I never said anything. I have no idea what to do next.
Lately there's just been a lot of just hanging out and " Okay see ya later, er, heh heh.." uncomfortable type shit like that. All me of course.
The last time we did "it" was right before I said "it".
Might be the last time?

I make excuses. No sitter. Other stuff.
What is wrong with me?

.
[Edited 10/23/07 18:47pm]

i didn't realize you actually said it!
why have you been making excuses? was it her response?
just talk already instead of ignoring it

emm said:

I just said it the Friday before the Friday-before-last after a whole lot of wrestling with myself.
I regretted it the moment the words came out of my mouth. I have been kind of avoiding her since.

So what was her reaction when you said it?

retina said:

Well, I'd like to say she fell to her knees and pledged her undying devotion. But um, no. That's not what happened.

Anyway, it wasn't like a "I love you, do you love me?" conversation.
I had actually made up my mind never to tell her prior to this. Buuut we were talking about how we felt about our situation and each other and whatnot. And she told me how she felt about us and me (because I asked). I was happy with her answer and should have left it at that. But then, like an ass, I asked her how she thought I felt about her and she told me. She looked me right in the face and said "I think you're in love with me."
I didn't want to be like, "oh no way!". So I fessed up.

alwayslate said:

Okay, interesting. I still don't know what her reaction was though. I only know what it wasn't.

retina said:

She said she knew it. But she did not say that the feeling was entirely mutual. And I knew that before I admitted it because she'd already told me how she felt.Nothing really has changed (except for me avoiding her a little.) She's still very sweet to me.
I just feel awkward now because it's out there and I can't take it back. It's okay. I just wish I hadn't said anything.

alwayslate said:

Your life got reeeaaal interesting, didn't it?

Nothing's wrong with you. Women are crazy bitches. If you can be happy with men, stick with them.


Seriously, what did she SAY?

What does visiting downtown have to do with it?

KidaDynamite said:

she just misses downtown a lot
she is quite adept at exploring downtown
and knowing that she could be there right now
is probably driving her a little crazy


late... sounds like you were having an excellent conversation
when you did say it. what would you have rathered? that she
said she thought you did and you denied it? then she would think
"ok she's lying now." and wouldn't be able to trust what you said!

i don't think telling her you were confused and overwhelmed by
your emotions would be a bad thing. the thing about your situation
that always knocks me on my ass is that your relationship is still a
secret. that has to be difficult but i understand the need.

keep talking woman

emm said:

or just get a babysitter and get your ass back downtown

emm said:


So wait she's not talking about "I'm going to buy some shoes downtown", she's talking about "You better get ready cuz I got something 4 that ass" downtown?!?!?!?

Ugh the dreaded "L" word...I swear I'll never say it again. I simply stated one time after my partner feeling blue that I loved him to pieces and wanted him to be happy. Things were never the same after that. Never again...never.

You might not want to hear this but don't get your hopes up with this relationship. It'll save you some heart break down the road.

emm said:

that was funny!



I think I will probably not mention it again unless she does. I don't want to start making her feel uncomfortable.
But I do know for sure we should not ever let people know about us. It would really not be a good idea.
I have no idea where this is going. I know that I do need to be with her at this time in my life. I know it's probably not going to be a permanent forever until we die thing. But she is what I need now.

bboy87 said:

you are so silly.
It's still all good. i'm just carrying on like I forgot I said it. That's make it easy for me to deal with. Selective amnesia.
Hopefully she won't bring up the subject.

alwayslate said:

aww. What a special relationship

alwayslate said:

so does that mean you've gone shopping downtown again?

emm said:

we need an update on this bombshell

I think she needs to visit a new town

ZombieKitten said:

i have to admit..... i'm curious

emm said:

she said all I need is for someone to do it right! I'd like a demonstration please

i'm sure she's got skills




lmao like i didn't feel pervy enough on this thread

emm said:

mmmm... oh wait lol! shouldn't we get lessons from late first?

emm said:

turns on camera

ya'll can start anytime

what the hell y'all been doing to my thread?!

nasty lil' devils, all of you.

downtown is just as fun as it ever was. the air is clear and I am fine. she takes advantage (my opinion) because she knows i'm in love. it's funny though. the mental abuse is funny.
but the sex.
astounding.
I wonder if she will let me post a pic of her so you can see for yourselves what I am dealing with here.
Magnificent. Everywhere she goes men hit on her. It is crazy the attention she gets. She smiles, flirts, whatever. But, it's my name she moans at night. My hands she grasps. My
lips she kisses. My hair she pulls. Who does she beg to see when she is lonely? Not any of those dudes. Who is whispering the filthiest things she ever heard in her ear? Who knows how she tastes? No man.
I cannot even explain why that makes me laugh. but I think it's hilarious how hard these guys sweat her and then when she is done hearing all their sorry ass raps and lies, I am the one pressing her against a wall. biting her neck. sucking her breasts. tearing her clothes off and eating her alive. That's me. Not a man.

alwayslate said:

wow...thats hot ....as hell!