I read some research about the reasons people choose to, and choose not to have children. The arguments (and there were many!) against procreating was by far the more rational and logical than the reasons for.

I would love to hear your reasons, why you wanted kids / want to have a batch in the future, or why you have decided not to go down that path.

Those childless not by choice but circumstance, I would love to hear from you as well.

Keep it nice!

I think it's funny the way some parents lash out at the parentless and I always feel like the root of that is jealousy over those who don't have kids.

I'm childless by design but being involved in my sister's life helping her with my nephews and stuff sure makes me never want to do it on a full time basis Whew! Kids are work.

I don't ever wanna have kids until I'm 100% sure I can support them financially.

I mean, when I was little, I had very little and basically survived on popcorn and hot dogs....didn't have cable and lived in a tiny 1-bedroom apt. with my dad...

my half brother and sister (from my mother's 2nd marriage) live with their father, and they don't even have enough $$$$ to pay the electric bill, and don't have hardly any money

I don't EVER want my kids to go through that....if I was a millionaire I'd probably have a kid right now.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Good job there are breeders right bro?

mdiver said:

Well yeah, otherwize I wouldn't be here to make the choice not to have kids!

personally, my reasons for having kids are totally not grounded in reality

"I did it cause he wanted kids, and if I didn't he would find someone else who would"
"I didn't like other people's kids, but maybe I would like my own?"

(I do totally adore my kids btw)

I honestly don't know why I wanted to have kids, I've just always known that I wanted to be a father...luckily, when I met my wife, we both had the same ideas about having children; how many, how to raise, how to discipline

I talk alot of shit here at the ol' org but I can say this with all sincerity, being a father to my son and daughter is the one thing I'm proudest of...it may be cliche, but they make me a better person...

ZombieKitten said:

Well you have the cutest kids in Aussieland, that is for sure!

Those reasons aren't at all uncommon though.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I know, but they are not rational or sensible

like reasons for NOT having kids (which DO make sense):

- we need to get the population down, not up
- I am not emotionally / financially stable, if I have a kid I would probably mess them up
- what kind of a future would I be bringing kids into?
etc

For me it's quite simple. I have very high ideals on how I feel a child should be raised and I don't think I'll ever live up to those ideals. I'd rather have my freedom, I'm not agreeable with lack of sleep, I'm too selfish with my time and energy, I definitely lack the financial werewithal. I can barely make ends meet for myself.
I adore my nieces and nephews and I've enjoyed the volunteer work I've done teaching children and such (and I'd like to do more again). But I don't honestly see myself with any of my own.

I always liked kids but did not plan on having any. As I got older I threw around the idea of maybe adopting and then I got pregnant.

Although I first decided to terminate, I couldn't go through with it so I had my son. I now wouldn't change it for the world.

I don't want to have anymore...but maybe one day, if I am not too old I will adopt.

JustErin said:

Is that because you don't want to go through the whole physical part of pregnancy?

some other kind of irrational (but strongly felt reasons) for having a child:

"it will fulfil me"

"it will make our relationship stronger" (yeah right )

"I feel purposeless and empty"

ZombieKitten said:

Having kids to fix a relationship is one of the worst ideas ever. Women innocently and naively think of the positives and kids create all kinds of issues in a relationship which more often than not makes the relationship even more strained.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

if it was crap to start with, it will be even more crap after

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Actually, no. I'd do it again if I had to. It's more me not wanting to bring another child into this world when so many need homes. That's why I would prefer to adopt.

JustErin said:

And that is why I gave you an apology because I know that you really are a good person at heart even when you are defending those vicious activists

JustErin said:

Well said.. There are so many kids that need homes and it is very cool that you have that opinion and think that way.

JustErin said:

It has always been my thought that if I change my mind I would like to adopt.

I have always had very reasonable, rational ideas about choosing not to have kids. Maybe adopting but not having my own. They mostly had to do with being responsible about it and not overpopulating the world.

Now that I'm at the age where it's pretty much too late, I'm getting a hankering to have my own. I want the love experience, whatever that is.

roodboi said:

Awwww you are just a big teddy bear!

Sometimes I think I'm no less into kids than any guy, but my S.O. definitely is compared to many women.

I don't really want them, however, because I'm just too selfish!

I just don't want to give the time & energy that's needed to be a good parent (which is all I'd want to be. I can't imagine being one of those "not there" dads). I also feel like I'm still a child. I guess most people are hardly ready for kids, they just adjust. BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!

But then add population to the equation, as well as the fact that I could have a baby at 80, and it's very easy to not have one.

But I LOOVE my nieces & nephews!

We both feel that maybe if we changed our minds we could adopt.

plus, you need to have sex to have a baby, generally

I didnt know wanted to be a mother..... but once I was I knew it would be the one thing i wouldn't screw up.... I cant say much for myself but I am a damn great mother..... My X and I sat on his aprt floor when we were 21 and talked about that if ever we did be become pregnant it was for good and that no matter what happened to us we would do no harm to them.

We kept that promise....they come first in every way for us both.... He and i have been divorced for 7 years and never have we missed a moment or a breathe where our kids are concerned....


I cant even say it is a sacrifice.... You just get used to it after awhile....

They are so wonderful to know...separate people...amazing both of them.... What a gift to see two humans grow up before your eyes.. ( I never have viewed them as my property)

That said, my brother and sister have chosen not to have kids.... They are fabulous with mine..... I support there decisions to not procreate.

i do want to be a parent, but i want to raise a child when i feel like i'm emotionally and (especially) financially prepared to offer the best upbringing i can manage. if that happens next year, great. if it happens when i'm 40, fine. or 50. or 60. or never. we'll know when/if it's the right time.

while i want to know what it's like to be a parent, i don't want to have that experience so badly that i would compromise the quality of my child's upbringing by imposing sub-par surroundings on it. and right now, i don't have the resources or the mindstate to rise above those compromises. so i am happy to wait until it's time.

Anxiety said:

But it would be starting out with the most killer music collection so already that kid would have quite a leg up on the rest

I'm too flaky and selfish. I don't want responsibility that I can't take vacations from.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

This is why I will never have dogs At least with cats, make sure you have fresh litter, leave a giant thing of water and enough dry food and you can leave for 3 days whereas you can't leave for 3 hours with a dog. too much like kids

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

it would be the only kindergartener who could quote entire scenes from woody allen movies.

I have kids, I never wanted any. My children have definately saved my life: they have taught me patience and unconditional love.

In my honest opionion, there is no good reason to have kids. zero. zip. Nada.