DanceWme said:

No, that happened after he said it. I was like this beforehand:

heartbeatocean said:

oooooh i see

AnckSuNamun said:

Some of the craziest people I know are therapists.

heartbeatocean said:

for sure!

NDRU said:

I think I'd feel more comfortable dishing out my feelings to someone who has been there and actually know what I'm feeling.

heartbeatocean said:

OK, has he even tried talking to you about what he thinks are your "issues"? A boyfriend that wants to ship your ass to a therapist before talking to you himself has some issues for sure!

is it free? I'd go for fun if it was free...

what did you get mad about?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

yes, we talk a lot...I'm open to it, sure...but it's a little much when this keeps coming up.

heartbeatocean said:

Make him quantify it then.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

What do you mean by "quantify it"?

heartbeatocean said:

If he thinks you have issues, ask him to tell you what they are. It seems that whatever is happening really should be between the two of you and not you and a therapist. He might be seeing things all wrong and thinking you are feeling one way when you aren't or that you mean one thing when you don't. Then again, I lust after your brilliant brain so I might be biased here

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You know, this all comes out of sharing my issues and my past, my difficult childhood, etc and simply talking about my struggles in life. Isn't that what couples are supposed to talk about? Believe me, I'm working on myself all the time! Maybe I should stop sharing and act like I've got it all together.

ufoclub said:

It's not free.

oh, miscellaneous stuff that comes up...misperceptions, false assumptions, feeling crowded.

heartbeatocean said:

Well see, I'm really open that way with my partners as well. Not to say I couldn't benefit from therapy, but I have spent the last 3 years of my life truly and for the first time dealing with my issues, my past and my pain. I have made amazing strides and when I share my life with my partners it's to share with them and to let them know where I've been and where I'm going. Doesn't mean that I'm not capable of being in a relationship and growing because I'm open about the things that have hurt me the most. Doesn't mean you aren't capable either

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

that's right

heartbeatocean said:

See! I knew you didn't need a therapist This guy needs to open the door to communicate because it sounds to me that he has neither the strength or the skills to deal with honest converation

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I need to open the door to communicate because something is off.

heartbeatocean said:

well don't get all fake on him and act like everything is fine if it's not.

Is this the guy who's on antidepressants and have himself been seeing a therapist? Unfortunately people who have been seeing therapists sometimes get in their heads that everybody else needs to see one, too. Sharing is good and has nothing to do with the issue. You'll be fine.

AnckSuNamun said:

I totally agree. At the same time I wouldn't want them to still be stuck in it though, not even partly. So I guess I'm asking for a lot.

retina said:

What are you asking for exactly? And I'm asking that as a legitimate question so don't get your panties in a bunch.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

sometimes it's hard to find the words

Teacher said:

This is definitely part of what's going on.

heartbeatocean said:

Do you do better writing? I know I do. I can suck ass trying to say something verbally but I can kick it by writing my thoughts Have you tried that route? Do you think it would be more successful?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Not sure, maybe I need to see a therapist.

heartbeatocean said:

That happened to me once, and it really made me angry. My dad wanted me to go to therapy, so I went and sat quietly for an hour maybe I did need it!

heartbeatocean said:

Well I aint sayin that I'm all that but as someone who really enjoys writing, I love reading your writing for me I like to write because I can get it just right what I'm trying to say as opposed to trying to say it right the first time, fucking it up, then trying to explain and clean up my flubs and then just saying forget it because I'm now too confused

NDRU said:

On a path of self-awareness, I think there is a time when the self becomes aware of the self. At that point, the self yearns for a teacher or a therapist. When the patient is ready, the therapist comes. At this point, we are open to learning and listening to ourselves. Others may want to fix us. Our "brokenness" from the outside may look fixable.

NDRU said:

Usually it takes a lot more than one hour!