My penis is allergic to monogamy.

I found out I can pay instead of beg.

You can't make me multi-orgasmic. I won't settle for less.

If I put peanut butter in the right places, my dog is enough of a relationship.

Having sex with you was like screwing a knot hole in a cedar post.

Lammastide said:

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

I'm not gay. My boyfriend is.

jami0mckay said:

mdiver said:

or

I'd love to keep seeing you, but, I, uh, have to floss the fish. Every day. For the next year.

I find it very hard to be without you, but I'm really gonna try...
[Edited 10/16/07 7:02am]

The last one I heard was:

"You make me want to throw up"

Sounds like a 10 year old, eh? I heard it from a 54 year old man....



Sad, but true.....

cubic61052 said:

No way!

violett said:

seriously though. at what point do you figure out if you're ready or not. if you aren't then take you're undecisive ass to someone else's doorstep.

people are growing more and more afraid of commitment.

i had someone break up with me by telling me that he thought he was allergic to my body chemistry.

and he didn't tell me this. he WROTE me this.

on white house stationery.

it was messed up.

Anxiety said:

Anxiety said:

"i did nothave sexual intercourse with that orger!"

MissMe said:

yes....it is funny in hindsight, but it really hurt me at the time....I was deeply in love with him.....obviously he is now with a 32 year old woman who looks 50, but at least she is at his same emotional level....

"I'm not good enough 4 u"

I have dumping becose I wasn't full white an I didn't think
we had a thing hell I was married to my ex husband at the time.
I did not get mad I know i look at him crazy.

"Bye, bitch."

CHIC0 said:

its so sad but true.

The Turtle is Peeking.

MuthaFunka said:

lol.....

Graycap23 said:

Works everytime.

MuthaFunka said:

you guys crack me up! You are so funny with your "pimp" talk and your "gangsta" talk you are just playaz yeah? I spelt that right?Yes?

it's not me, it's YOU

ZombieKitten said:

and it DOESN'T happen to all guys!
[Edited 10/16/07 16:27pm]

mdiver said:

Fixed!

rushing07 said:

dunno I'm not a guy, and I have never really broken up with anyone, I'm always the dumpee

ZombieKitten said:

What????

You need to dump somebody right now!



Although in many cases dumping is not much better than being dumped.

rushing07 said:

wouldn't it be much the same plus a load of guilt?

ZombieKitten said:

Yeah but minus sense of rejection.

rushing07 said:

yeah, but with rejection comes that wonderful feeling of indignance and anger and vengefulness, and with a few good buddies and a few slabs, nothing you can't get over!

MuthaFunka said:

I always like them 2 call back.....in the future.
There is a term 4 that. Come back *****.