you know, you date someone - things dont work out... you get to know their friend - how long do you wait to make a move?

would like to hear from both men and women - just had a conversation about this the other day and it was amazing how different men and women feel about this.

I say fuck it, life's to damn short.. as long as it was a clean break up, you dont have to wait much longer than 6 months to a year

one of my cousins married another cousin's ex wife it was weird at first but now no one cares. They waited 3 months after the divorce was final to be seen together.

I think 6 months is enough time to give the guys a chance to talk about it

I'd need a year though



how are ya babe?

Who cares, I say go for it. I've been on the other end too...dating a friend's ex. That's supposedly taboo but whatever, years had passed.

Well I know it's very convenient to date someone you already know and like, but unless you're really interested in this particular person I'd say it's better to look elsewhere. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that don't come attached to a potential world of trouble.

retina said:

Meh, there are slim pickings out there. If I find someone I'm attracted to nothing will get in my way except a wedding ring or herpes.

CarrieLee said:

Do I even dare to ask how much fun you had in Italy?

CarrieLee said:

There are worse things than herpes.


I'd date an ex's friend, as long as I was ok with running into the ex.

Talk to the friend first.

I HATED when a friend dated my ex. I was never even in love with him and I just didn't like it.

CarrieMpls said:

Oh, yeah. That would be a good first step.

A friend of mine dated my ex one week after we broke up. I found out because of their backassward excuses for not hanging out with me.
Stupid slut couldn't even wait atleast a month

retina said:

Let's see....I walked into an Irish bar and hooked up with a Brit....IN ITALY! hahahahaa!!!! I'll start a thread when I get my pics uploaded. But for the most part I behaved, I was too damn tired from walking all day to get drunk and rowdy. I made up for it last night though, god damn I had to close one eye to get myself home.

CarrieMpls said:

Yeah it's not a good feeling. But really, if you're broken up then it's free reign. I mean if you dated for years and were in love and all that I would NEVER go there....I'm talking stupid rinky dinky relationships that didn't mean anything.

I had a rule that I wouldn't sleep with anyone that my friends had slept with. It was too hard, all my friends are sluts.

I wouldn't say that I wouldn't care or that it wouldn't bother me but I would have no say in the matter and if it bothered me that much I would have to just remove myself from the equation (being a friend of whomever).

And I had no problem doing it myself.

I've missed your threads

It would just be too akward for me if a friend of mine wanted to date my ex

JustErin said:

Erin I kinda have this urge to make out with your avatar...

retina said:

Bingo.

Y'know, my morals are generally skewed compared to the general population, but this is one area where I can't mess around. I've been on the other end of it at times, especially recently, having crushed hard on my best friend's recent ex. He is incredible, and we spent the two years of their relationship joking at how compatible we are. Not to mention he's insanely attractive in every way. When he asked me to go to coffee two days after their breakup, I said yes, and called back the next day with my head on straight. What was I thinking? She's my soul sister, there's no way I'm going to hurt her in any circumstance. Even if she gave me the okay, it'd still be too weird for me.

Do you know how hard it is being pursued by the most attractive, intelligent person you've ever laid your eyes on? I can't even masturbate about anybody else!

retina said:

It's a lovely mental image, those two.

CarrieLee said:

Give me enough rye and it could happen.

It's happenned to me a few times both ways. Each time it's was uncomfortable, but being that my current "girlfriend" is really more of a friend with benefits, it's something I've just grown used to. I guess it depends on your expectations, and if you have a jealous nature; and of course, how you balance these things.

two words: hell no

My best friend is engaged to her ex husband's friend. He actually knew what a jerk his friend was and consoled my friend. Years on they got together.

You can never say never, because you just don't know what the future holds and what is around the corner. I would have said no, as I couldn't see it happening, but then again, stranger things happen in life.

CarrieMpls said:

Imagine you were in love! You would have unleashed your cat on them

INSATIABLE said:

Two days? Wow he didn't waste any time, did he?

It must have felt weird for your friend with all that talking during the two years about how compatible you and this guy are. Even though it was done in a jokey way she could probably tell that there was some truth to it.



I hear ya. It's a strange situation and even if she'd said it was okay it wouldn't necessarily have meant that her heart really felt it was. Of course you'll never know for sure, but better safe than sorry right? At least in a case like this where so much is at stake, and especially now that it's so recent.





Maybe you can let the whole thing cool down and then if you're both interested when some time has been allowed to pass, you could carefully bring it up with your friend? I don't know, these things are so difficult. On the one hand you don't want to risk your friendship, and on the other hand it would be a real shame if you and this guy - like in some kind of Jane Austen novel - were meant for each other but kept apart by unfortunate social circumstances. The hard truth is probably that something has to give, but maybe you're lucky and can have both? Who can tell, who can tell...

retina said:

Honestly, he was extremely hurt by the breakup and because we got along so well, he needed someone to talk to. I hated not 'being there' for him, but I put myself in my friend's shoes--not pretty. I can't imagine her being okay with me hanging out with him alone so soon after.


Seriously, it was more her reporting back to me. Her and I were roommates for most of the span of their relationship, so we'd be eating breakfast and she'd be telling me how the previous night with him went, saying we have the exact same taste in music, we're voting on the same bills, we crack the same jokes, we like the same movies, food, interests, it just became eerie. She'd come back and say, "Here's another thing you two have in common", so it became a running gag. Despite her initiation, if I were her, it'd feel a bit shitty. The two of them clashed on a lot of things, and it probably got old for her.


Her and I are in a major rebuilding phase in our friendship, after letting out a lot that we'd kept in during previous years (we've always had a bit of a passive-aggressive communication problem). Our bond is really special and no tall, gorgeous, sweet-smelling, golden-locked, guitar-playing manchild could come between us.







()



Nothing's impossible, but pining for someone you can't have only kills the soul. I've done it once before, and barely saved myself in time. Doing it twice would be ridiculous, especially considering what I'd be losing. The pain would suffocate any chances of a worthwhile romance.

Did I mention he smells like heaven? Thanks for humoring me, as you so often do. How's your lovelife by the way?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

That would be hard.

INSATIABLE said:

Non-existent. But thanks for asking. ¨

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Alright, this has GOT to stop. I won't have you spreading nasty rumours about my kitty! She is a darling sweetheart sugar girl and don't you forget it!

INSATIABLE said:

Whaaaaa!?!?!?!?!