Would you do it? why or why not? Have you done it? If so, would you do it again?

If a man sees that a woman he likes is a single mom with kids and he runs, that's a good test that he is not worth it.

luv4u said:

What is it's a woman that sees that a man she likes is a single dad with kids and she runs?

I think that even if you like children and want and accept the child(ren) of that person, it's really really tough, because kids will not accept you easily when you are taking the place of one of their birth parents in a relationship.
I know I never could accept the guy my mother was with. we were friendly to each other as long as he was a visitor. Once he moved in, we never got along again until the day he died.

Janfriend said:

Same thing. Bev, I think you need to start making your statements to both genders, because you keep coming off as if you have a huge resentment against men.

I don't see why a person is condsidered bad because they don't want to date someone with children

Janfriend said:

I don't think they're bad. They're just the wrong choice for the one with the children.

All I know is, if I'm pushing my nephew Golf around the supermarket in the trolley I get lots of attention from Thai women. From his colour he's obviously not my child but that doesn't seem to be a factor.

Fauxie said:

I don't get the same effect with my niece. she seems to get all the attention.

Yes, I have and yes I would do it again. The same rules apply to women as it does to men...it's a packaged deal...either you take it or you leave it. And I know A LOT of women who run like hell when they find out a man they're interested in has kids...because they don't want to deal with them or they don't want kids...not even in a dating type of situation.

ArielB said:

Golf puked up on me yesterday in the supermarket and we both got a lot of unwanted attention.

Fauxie said:

She hasn't puked on me yet. But while I was carrying her in my arms, walking home, she hugged me and said "I love you Ariel"

ArielB said:

Awww... that's too cute.

Golf's very affectionate with me but yesterday I was covering his eyes with my hands while he was trying to watch his favourite TV programme, a Venezuelan soap opera that gets a bit saucy at times. He looked at me all irritated and said (in Thai) 'you have a bad personality'

I hooked up with an old girlfriend of mine before my wife and I got together...she'd had a little girl after we graduated high school...I had no problems with it at all, until the daughter started calling me Daddy...the first time it occured was six weeks or so into the ex and I dating....then it happened a bit more frequently....that was just a bit too creepy for me, especially since the child was being visited by her real father as frequently as me and her mother were hooked up....

didn't work out.....

I've not been in such a position but it's not an issue to me. Why should it be?

Depends on how much I like him & if we wanna get serious. I wouldn't wanna be a person who bounced in & out of a kids life, but the kid thing can be a drag for those of us without just in terms of scheduling & time spent. I don't think I'd let it deter me initially though, at my age everyone has kids already (thirties)... It's not necessarily a benefit, but it's not a problem either... Actually, a kid may make him a better man (hopefully!) so maybe it IS a benefit
[Edited 10/12/07 5:00am]

I have and I would likely do it again. But I can see it stopping a relationship from getting all too serious. I don't think I want kids... so I'm not sure I'd want to be put in that position.

I dated someone who had two sons. He didn't tell me until like 6 months later

I didnt mind them. They actually made me want to be around him more

I'd probably do it again. Specially if they dont tell me until 50 yrs later.

Much as I love children I don't think I want any of my own, so probably not.

luv4u said:

That's a horrible thing to say.

Cloudbuster said:

Gay.

JDInteractive said:

Sometimes.

I like children however I would prefer to date a man that does not have them. The first reason being that I don't want to deal with baby mama drama which seems to come along in a lot of these cases. The other reason is because I tend to get attached and let's face it, when you break up with a guy, you break up with their kids too. But even though I would prefer someone w/o kids, it's not a deal breaker for me.

This is sorta off the topic a little bit but I remember my ex telling how annoyed when he would meet women and the first thing they will say is, "I'm successful, I'm great, blah, blah, blah and I DON'T have any children." Because he's an asshole and sorta funny, his reply would be, "So what, you've done all the things it takes to make a baby. You can't special."


He's a charmer.

I don't see having childen is a problem,Ijest don't think the childen
call them mom & dad until your marryed an that person don't care.

I did once...it did cause a of strain on our relationship. It was not so much the kids but how he dealt with them when it came to how he dealt with his ex and the children. When there are children involved it is likely the ex will always be around and involved. For us that was a big problem because they continued to fight around the kids and I do not agree with that type of parenting.

I think having a child is a HUGE thing and for me personally I would rather share the experience of having a child with someone rather than there already being a child in the picture.

Fauxie said:

If you enjoy someone's company - why not?!?

Dating is for finding out whether or not you are compatible with the other person for the long run - exploring what's beyond the surface.
You may find out that you are not ready to be in that relationship or you may discover something about yourself that you didn't already know.

The fact that someone has kids is very much on the surface.
How that person is as a parent, how your partner balances his/her attentions, how the kids react to you coming into their lives - these are things that I would need to take into consideration as they were presented.

It wouldn't and doesn't bother me at all. I have dated guys with kids. The only way I would see it being a problem is if he didn't treat his children well.

MuaPetahl said:

Indeed...