CarrieLee said:

hi butterfli im well thank you - and how are you?

ever how are you hun? life going well for you?


interesting posts... lets take it up a notch, say that the ex is someone you dated for many years and had a child with or at one point were supposed to marry or something more serious... then is it ok or not

and lets say that the 'ex' is no longer around, its been many years... more like 5-10 years, something like that

he is not involved with the child or the friend in question....

is that woman off limits forever to the one time good friend of the ex?

nakedpianoplayer said:

I think it's all a matter of how "good" of friends you are with the friend, how close they were with the ex, how long, etc. and how long it's been since they dated. There's no hard, fast rule. But again, it comes down to talking with friend.

CarrieMpls said:

talking would be good, but in this case, the girl cant get ahold of the friend... he is that far removed. it seems like these two should just be together, they are staying apart for the sake of a memory of how things were 10-15 years ago.....
it makes me sad to see that

nakedpianoplayer said:

If the person is that far removed that neither of them is talking to them any more and don't even know how to get in touch with them, then I SO don't see the problem.

CarrieMpls said:

thats what I said !!!!!

i dont understand... i was hoping one of the guys here would spill the 'dont date a friends ex' rule so i could ask them about it

retina said:

AMEN!! that there is some bad ju-ju....

reneGade20 said:

Agreed. No reason to go there. I'd be pissed if my friend dated my ex.

That is never okay, unless they're (the ex) dead and even then it's iffy... that's something you just don't do.

When you split up with someone you should be prepared to lose their family and friends too - along with their favourite hangouts. I just can't imagine dating an ex's friend.

ok, im not arguing by any means... im just trying to get a handle from the men as to why if a woman dates a dumbass, but that dumbass has a good guy friend.... why after 10 years, the dumbass is gone... that woman cant date the good guy???

so, to understand, is it true then that once a man dates a woman, she belongs to him forever?

again, just trying to understand so i can help the girl out, thanks.

nakedpianoplayer said:

I wouldn't go THAT far and say she belongs to the guy...but its more of an awkward situation for the guys themselves...as the old adage goes, "Bros before _oes"...

...however, if the bud checks down and if the ex has no issue with it, then its cool....sort of a mob blessing, for lack of a better term...

Didn't Jermaine Jackson marry his brother's ex-wife or something like that?

reneGade20 said:

"Bros before _oes"

thats it! i knew there was some kinda saying - just couldnt remember it...thanks

in this case, the original guy is a total waste of skin... i dont know how she got tied up with his dumb ass anyway

im just hoping the two of them can figure out a way to make it work out, they are MUCH better for each other and you can see that they care about each other greatly... i still stand by the fact that since this guy is nowhere around and its been 10 years they should be ok

IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY LAST SATURDAY WOMAN!!!!!

happy happy belated birthday dear naked

nakedpianoplayer said:

That right there is some fucked up shit.

No one belongs to anyone. When a relationship is over that means it's over. You (meaning "you" in general terms) have no say in anything that person does or who they choose to do it with.

That doesn't mean that you have to like it but the minute you make your problem with it, their problem you're a complete fucking idiot.

nakedpianoplayer said:

oh if it's been that long, then all bets are off....the ex has no "claim" of injury or tresspass....the guy's friend should move forward with your friend, especially if they're compatible...I thought you were talking about something fresh....

reneGade20 said:

wonderful
im glad to hear that the time difference makes as much difference as i thought it did.... surely after 10 years i felt ok about giving the advice that it truely didnt matter about the absent 'friend' anymore and that they would be fine to continue in their current path
thanks for the help

emm said:

thank you dear emm

this years birthday was nothing special at all.... family was busy, i was working my tail off at the store, no cake, no special dinner, nothing really im glad the day is over to be honest lol...

i did tell myself that since there was no celebration, i dont really have to admit that i am a year older

hope things are well for ya girl and thank you for remembering me

nakedpianoplayer said:

I've been on the receiving end of a hell of alot worse...

If the previous relationship is over, it's fair game. Just don't flaunt it.

xplnyrslf said:

great advice
thanks

nakedpianoplayer said:

co-sign

nakedpianoplayer said:

Anytime!!! Hope things work out for them....too hard to find folks you vibe well with as it is without all the added drama.....

nakedpianoplayer said:

My brother married his former best friend's ex. FORMER best friend. She snuck off with my brother while she was still with the FORMER best friend. We (the family) still have not completely welcomed her in. I can't get out of my head that she was a "jump off". My dad especially still isn't crazy about her. She is also a skeemer (obviously) so we just can't get with her. It's too Jerry Springer for me, this situation.

Besides, those two fought like cats and dogs everyday until they got married. Here's to a long marriage.
[Edited 10/15/07 13:51pm]