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Thread started 10/12/07 11:24am

nakedpianoplay
er

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dating an ex's friend?

you know, you date someone - things dont work out... you get to know their friend - how long do you wait to make a move?

would like to hear from both men and women - just had a conversation about this the other day and it was amazing how different men and women feel about this.

I say fuck it, life's to damn short.. as long as it was a clean break up, you dont have to wait much longer than 6 months to a year shrug
One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111


love is a gift heart

an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby....
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Reply #1 posted 10/12/07 11:34am

butterfli25

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one of my cousins married another cousin's ex wife lol it was weird at first but now no one cares. They waited 3 months after the divorce was final to be seen together.

I think 6 months is enough time to give the guys a chance to talk about it nod

I'd need a year though lol



hug how are ya babe?
butterfly
We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.
Maya Angelou
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Reply #2 posted 10/12/07 11:38am

CarrieLee

Who cares, I say go for it. I've been on the other end too...dating a friend's ex. That's supposedly taboo but whatever, years had passed.
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Reply #3 posted 10/12/07 11:42am

retina

Well I know it's very convenient to date someone you already know and like, but unless you're really interested in this particular person I'd say it's better to look elsewhere. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that don't come attached to a potential world of trouble.
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Reply #4 posted 10/12/07 11:48am

CarrieLee

retina said:

Well I know it's very convenient to date someone you already know and like, but unless you're really interested in this particular person I'd say it's better to look elsewhere. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that don't come attached to a potential world of trouble.



Meh, there are slim pickings out there. If I find someone I'm attracted to nothing will get in my way except a wedding ring or herpes.
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Reply #5 posted 10/12/07 11:49am

retina

CarrieLee said:

retina said:

Well I know it's very convenient to date someone you already know and like, but unless you're really interested in this particular person I'd say it's better to look elsewhere. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that don't come attached to a potential world of trouble.



Meh, there are slim pickings out there. If I find someone I'm attracted to nothing will get in my way except a wedding ring or herpes.


Do I even dare to ask how much fun you had in Italy? lol
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Reply #6 posted 10/12/07 11:50am

HereToRockYour
World

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CarrieLee said:

retina said:

Well I know it's very convenient to date someone you already know and like, but unless you're really interested in this particular person I'd say it's better to look elsewhere. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that don't come attached to a potential world of trouble.



Meh, there are slim pickings out there. If I find someone I'm attracted to nothing will get in my way except a wedding ring or herpes.


There are worse things than herpes. lol


I'd date an ex's friend, as long as I was ok with running into the ex. shrug
oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1!
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Reply #7 posted 10/12/07 11:51am

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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Talk to the friend first.

I HATED when a friend dated my ex. I was never even in love with him and I just didn't like it.
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Reply #8 posted 10/12/07 11:54am

HereToRockYour
World

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CarrieMpls said:

Talk to the friend first.




Oh, yeah. That would be a good first step. nod
oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1!
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Reply #9 posted 10/12/07 11:55am

DanceWme

A friend of mine dated my ex one week after we broke up. I found out because of their backassward excuses for not hanging out with me.
Stupid slut couldn't even wait atleast a month mad
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Reply #10 posted 10/12/07 11:57am

CarrieLee

retina said:

CarrieLee said:




Meh, there are slim pickings out there. If I find someone I'm attracted to nothing will get in my way except a wedding ring or herpes.


Do I even dare to ask how much fun you had in Italy? lol



Let's see....I walked into an Irish bar and hooked up with a Brit....IN ITALY! hahahahaa!!!! I'll start a thread when I get my pics uploaded. But for the most part I behaved, I was too damn tired from walking all day to get drunk and rowdy. I made up for it last night though, god damn I had to close one eye to get myself home.
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Reply #11 posted 10/12/07 11:58am

CarrieLee

CarrieMpls said:

Talk to the friend first.

I HATED when a friend dated my ex. I was never even in love with him and I just didn't like it.



Yeah it's not a good feeling. But really, if you're broken up then it's free reign. I mean if you dated for years and were in love and all that I would NEVER go there....I'm talking stupid rinky dinky relationships that didn't mean anything.

I had a rule that I wouldn't sleep with anyone that my friends had slept with. It was too hard, all my friends are sluts.
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Reply #12 posted 10/12/07 12:19pm

JustErin

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I wouldn't say that I wouldn't care or that it wouldn't bother me but I would have no say in the matter and if it bothered me that much I would have to just remove myself from the equation (being a friend of whomever).

And I had no problem doing it myself.
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Reply #13 posted 10/12/07 12:21pm

EverSoulicious

I've missed your threads lol hug
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Reply #14 posted 10/12/07 12:22pm

veronikka

It would just be too akward for me if a friend of mine wanted to date my ex
Rhythm floods my heart♥The melody it feeds my soul
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Reply #15 posted 10/12/07 12:53pm

CarrieLee

JustErin said:

I wouldn't say that I wouldn't care or that it wouldn't bother me but I would have no say in the matter and if it bothered me that much I would have to just remove myself from the equation (being a friend of whomever).

And I had no problem doing it myself.


Erin I kinda have this urge to make out with your avatar...
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Reply #16 posted 10/12/07 12:59pm

retina

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Reply #17 posted 10/12/07 1:06pm

INSATIABLE

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retina said:

Well I know it's very convenient to date someone you already know and like, but unless you're really interested in this particular person I'd say it's better to look elsewhere. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that don't come attached to a potential world of trouble.

Bingo.

Y'know, my morals are generally skewed compared to the general population, but this is one area where I can't mess around. I've been on the other end of it at times, especially recently, having crushed hard on my best friend's recent ex. He is incredible, and we spent the two years of their relationship joking at how compatible we are. Not to mention he's insanely attractive in every way. When he asked me to go to coffee two days after their breakup, I said yes, and called back the next day with my head on straight. What was I thinking? disbelief She's my soul sister, there's no way I'm going to hurt her in any circumstance. Even if she gave me the okay, it'd still be too weird for me.

Do you know how hard it is being pursued by the most attractive, intelligent person you've ever laid your eyes on? I can't even masturbate about anybody else!
Oh shit, my hat done fell off
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Reply #18 posted 10/12/07 1:08pm

INSATIABLE

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retina said:


nod It's a lovely mental image, those two.
Oh shit, my hat done fell off
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Reply #19 posted 10/12/07 1:11pm

JustErin

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CarrieLee said:

JustErin said:

I wouldn't say that I wouldn't care or that it wouldn't bother me but I would have no say in the matter and if it bothered me that much I would have to just remove myself from the equation (being a friend of whomever).

And I had no problem doing it myself.


Erin I kinda have this urge to make out with your avatar...


Give me enough rye and it could happen.
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Reply #20 posted 10/12/07 1:18pm

LazarusHeart

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It's happenned to me a few times both ways. Each time it's was uncomfortable, but being that my current "girlfriend" is really more of a friend with benefits, it's something I've just grown used to. I guess it depends on your expectations, and if you have a jealous nature; and of course, how you balance these things.
Love
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Reply #21 posted 10/12/07 1:25pm

heybaby

two words: hell no lol
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Reply #22 posted 10/12/07 1:33pm

MissMe

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My best friend is engaged to her ex husband's friend. He actually knew what a jerk his friend was and consoled my friend. Years on they got together.

You can never say never, because you just don't know what the future holds and what is around the corner. I would have said no, as I couldn't see it happening, but then again, stranger things happen in life. smile
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)
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Reply #23 posted 10/12/07 2:20pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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CarrieMpls said:

Talk to the friend first.

I HATED when a friend dated my ex. I was never even in love with him and I just didn't like it.

Imagine you were in love! You would have unleashed your cat on them smile
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #24 posted 10/12/07 2:23pm

retina

INSATIABLE said:

Bingo.

Y'know, my morals are generally skewed compared to the general population, but this is one area where I can't mess around. I've been on the other end of it at times, especially recently, having crushed hard on my best friend's recent ex. He is incredible, and we spent the two years of their relationship joking at how compatible we are. Not to mention he's insanely attractive in every way. When he asked me to go to coffee two days after their breakup, I said yes, and called back the next day with my head on straight. What was I thinking? disbelief


Two days? Wow he didn't waste any time, did he? lol

It must have felt weird for your friend with all that talking during the two years about how compatible you and this guy are. Even though it was done in a jokey way she could probably tell that there was some truth to it.

She's my soul sister, there's no way I'm going to hurt her in any circumstance. Even if she gave me the okay, it'd still be too weird for me.


I hear ya. It's a strange situation and even if she'd said it was okay it wouldn't necessarily have meant that her heart really felt it was. Of course you'll never know for sure, but better safe than sorry right? At least in a case like this where so much is at stake, and especially now that it's so recent.

Do you know how hard it is being pursued by the most attractive, intelligent person you've ever laid your eyes on? I can't even masturbate about anybody else!


sigh

Maybe you can let the whole thing cool down and then if you're both interested when some time has been allowed to pass, you could carefully bring it up with your friend? I don't know, these things are so difficult. On the one hand you don't want to risk your friendship, and on the other hand it would be a real shame if you and this guy - like in some kind of Jane Austen novel - were meant for each other but kept apart by unfortunate social circumstances. The hard truth is probably that something has to give, but maybe you're lucky and can have both? Who can tell, who can tell...
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Reply #25 posted 10/12/07 2:39pm

INSATIABLE

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retina said:

Two days? Wow he didn't waste any time, did he? lol

Honestly, he was extremely hurt by the breakup and because we got along so well, he needed someone to talk to. I hated not 'being there' for him, but I put myself in my friend's shoes--not pretty. I can't imagine her being okay with me hanging out with him alone so soon after.

It must have felt weird for your friend with all that talking during the two years about how compatible you and this guy are. Even though it was done in a jokey way she could probably tell that there was some truth to it.

Seriously, it was more her reporting back to me. Her and I were roommates for most of the span of their relationship, so we'd be eating breakfast and she'd be telling me how the previous night with him went, saying we have the exact same taste in music, we're voting on the same bills, we crack the same jokes, we like the same movies, food, interests, it just became eerie. lol She'd come back and say, "Here's another thing you two have in common", so it became a running gag. Despite her initiation, if I were her, it'd feel a bit shitty. The two of them clashed on a lot of things, and it probably got old for her.

I hear ya. It's a strange situation and even if she'd said it was okay it wouldn't necessarily have meant that her heart really felt it was. Of course you'll never know for sure, but better safe than sorry right? At least in a case like this where so much is at stake, and especially now that it's so recent.

Her and I are in a major rebuilding phase in our friendship, after letting out a lot that we'd kept in during previous years (we've always had a bit of a passive-aggressive communication problem). Our bond is really special and no tall, gorgeous, sweet-smelling, golden-locked, guitar-playing manchild could come between us.







(bawl)


sigh

Maybe you can let the whole thing cool down and then if you're both interested when some time has been allowed to pass, you could carefully bring it up with your friend? I don't know, these things are so difficult. On the one hand you don't want to risk your friendship, and on the other hand it would be a real shame if you and this guy - like in some kind of Jane Austen novel - were meant for each other but kept apart by unfortunate social circumstances. The hard truth is probably that something has to give, but maybe you're lucky and can have both? Who can tell, who can tell...

Nothing's impossible, but pining for someone you can't have only kills the soul. I've done it once before, and barely saved myself in time. Doing it twice would be ridiculous, especially considering what I'd be losing. The pain would suffocate any chances of a worthwhile romance.

Did I mention he smells like heaven? hug Thanks for humoring me, as you so often do. How's your lovelife by the way?
Oh shit, my hat done fell off
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Reply #26 posted 10/12/07 2:41pm

MissMe

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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

CarrieMpls said:

Talk to the friend first.

I HATED when a friend dated my ex. I was never even in love with him and I just didn't like it.

Imagine you were in love! You would have unleashed your cat on them smile



That would be hard.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)
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Reply #27 posted 10/12/07 2:52pm

retina

INSATIABLE said:


How's your lovelife by the way?


Non-existent. But thanks for asking. ¨

sigh
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Reply #28 posted 10/12/07 4:33pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

CarrieMpls said:

Talk to the friend first.

I HATED when a friend dated my ex. I was never even in love with him and I just didn't like it.

Imagine you were in love! You would have unleashed your cat on them smile


Alright, this has GOT to stop. I won't have you spreading nasty rumours about my kitty! She is a darling sweetheart sugar girl and don't you forget it!

mad


lol


mad
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Reply #29 posted 10/13/07 12:27am

KidaDynamite

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INSATIABLE said:

retina said:

Well I know it's very convenient to date someone you already know and like, but unless you're really interested in this particular person I'd say it's better to look elsewhere. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that don't come attached to a potential world of trouble.

Bingo.

Y'know, my morals are generally skewed compared to the general population, but this is one area where I can't mess around. I've been on the other end of it at times, especially recently, having crushed hard on my best friend's recent ex. He is incredible, and we spent the two years of their relationship joking at how compatible we are. Not to mention he's insanely attractive in every way. When he asked me to go to coffee two days after their breakup, I said yes, and called back the next day with my head on straight. What was I thinking? disbelief She's my soul sister, there's no way I'm going to hurt her in any circumstance. Even if she gave me the okay, it'd still be too weird for me.

Do you know how hard it is being pursued by the most attractive, intelligent person you've ever laid your eyes on? I can't even masturbate about anybody else!


Whaaaaa!?!?!?!?! whofarted
surviving on the thought of loving you, it's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years...
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