http://news.yahoo.com/s/a...y_marriage

SAN FRANCISCO - For years, rumblings have surfaced on the Internet, conjecture about her casual references to "sexual orientation" and "respect."
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Now, Dear Abby is ready to say it flatly: She supports same-sex marriage.

"I believe if two people want to commit to each other, God bless 'em," the syndicated advice columnist told The Associated Press. "That is the highest form of commitment, for heaven's sake."

What Jeanne Phillips, aka Abigail Van Buren, finds offensive and misguided are homophobic jokes, phrases like "That's so gay," and parents who reject or try to reform their children when they come out of the closet.

Her views are the reason she's being honored this week by Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, a national advocacy group that provides support for gay people and their families. The original Abby, Phillips' 89-year-old mother, Pauline, helped put PFLAG on the map in 1984 when she first referred a distraught parent to the organization.

Jeanne Phillips, who formally took over the column when her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease five years ago, has continued plugging the group, as well as its affiliate for parents with children who identify as transgender, and a suicide hot line aimed at gay teenagers.

"I'm trying to tell kids if they are gay, it's OK to be gay. I've tried to tell families if they have a gay family member to accept them and love them as they always have," she said Friday.

PFLAG director Jody Huckaby said Abby is the perfect choice for the first "Straight for Equality" award, part of the group's new campaign to engage more heterosexuals as allies.

"She is such a mainstream voice," Huckaby said. "If Dear Abby is talking about it, it gives other people permission to talk about it."

Alert "Dear Abby" readers may have noticed that the youthful attitude Phillips promised to bring to the column includes a decidedly gay-friendly take on most matters.

In a March 2005 column that touched a nerve with some readers, for instance, Phillips came down unequivocally on the side of scientists who say sexual orientation is a matter of genetics, not personal choice. She advised a mother who had cautioned her 14-year-old daughter to keep her feelings for other girls secret to "come to terms with your own feelings about homosexuality."

Last year, addressing a groom whose gay brother refused to serve as best man or even attend the wedding because he did not have the right to marry, she made it clear her sympathies lay with the boycotting brother.

"Accepting the status quo is not always the best thing to do," she wrote. "Women were once considered chattel, and slavery was regarded as sanctioned in the Bible. However, western society grew to recognize that neither was just. Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands and Spain have recognized gay marriage, and one day, perhaps, our country will, too."

Phillips, who lives in Los Angeles, said she isn't worried that aligning herself with gay rights advocates will cause newspapers to censor or cancel the column, which appears in about 1,400 newspapers.

Her outspokenness on gay rights issues has never caused a strong backlash, said Kathie Kerr, a spokeswoman for Universal Press Syndicate, which distributes the column. It's possible some editors choose not to run the segments dealing with homosexuality, but if so they have not complained to the syndicate, Kerr said.

"We get brouhahas all the time, and they haven't been about Dear Abby," Kerr said.

Phillips realizes not everyone agrees with her on gay rights; she and her husband "argue about this continually," she said. He thinks civil unions and domestic partnerships "would be less threatening to people who feel marriage is just a religious rite." She thinks anything less than full marriage amounts to second-class citizenship.

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion," said Phillips, who speaks with the no-nonsense tone of someone who is used to settling debates.

Right now, Abby, as Phillips prefers to be called, is working on a reply to a woman who wanted to know whether she should include childhood photographs of her transgender brother-in-law in a family album. The woman is worried what she will tell her children when they see pictures of their uncle as a little girl.

Phillips' guidance to Worried Reader will be simple, she said: Include the photos, of course. Silence is the enemy. Answer any questions the kids have honestly — Uncle John was born with a body of the wrong sex, so even when he was called Jane he was really John inside.

Phillips said that while it might be tempting to devote an entire column to why she thinks jokes invoking homosexual slurs are in poor taste, she does not plan to spell out her views on gay marriage in print any more directly than she has already.

"If they are my readers, they know how I feel on the subject," she said. "I don't think I'm a flaming radical. I'm for civility in life. I'm for treating each other with respect, trying to do the best you can."

good for her!!

AND THE NEOCON RIGHT WING CHRISTIANS STRIKE BACK!!!

http://www.earnedmedia.org/sbm1010.htm


HUNTINGTON, Conn., Oct. 10 /Christian Newswire/ -- Stephen Bennett, founder of www.TheParentsGroup.com, a worldwide support group for parents, family members and friends who have loved ones who are homosexual, responded swiftly to the flood of e-mails and calls from his group's members regarding "Dear Abby" and her controversial statements on "gay" marriage, and her support of the homosexual lifestyle.



"I got into the office an hour or so late today and my e-mail was flooded with people questioning 'Dear Abby's' comments. The phone has been ringing off the wall ever since," said Bennett.



Bennett, a former homosexual himself, now married almost 15 years to his wife and the father of his two children, said, "Sorry 'Dear Abby' - You are WRONG on this one!"



"Jeanne Phillips (aka Abby) is opining a lot about how very little she knows. Her using buzz words as 'homophobic' and 'inclusive' and 'judgmental' are to scare people into believing she is 'right.' Homosexual family members need to be loved and be treated with respect, yet going as far out on a limb as Phillips did, is showing FALSE love and is actually harmful. We encourage families to love their 'gay' identified loved ones unconditionally, yet without ever condoning or accepting the behavior.



"It's a fine line one learns to walk - and when you speak the TRUTH in love - it pays off. 'Dear Abby's' ignorant advice will only cause more harm and pain to a confused society, and not only to the homosexual individual, but to EVERY family member and friend involved," said Bennett.



Bennett ended, "'Dear Abby,' stick to what little you know -- and forget about that which you don't. Encouraging young 'gay' men to accept themselves as such can lead to an early death. I wonder how you would respond to several of our Parents Group members, whose sons have died excruciating and painful deaths due to HIV/AIDS. Try comforting these inconsolable parents. What, I wonder, would you say to these distraught parents, 'Dear Abby'? Maybe, 'That's just life! You can do it! Get up now and move on!'



"I suggest Jeanne Phillips talk to people like me and a 75-year-old mother in our group whose son walked away from homosexuality after many years. Phillips is brainwashed, ignorant and uniformed. You want the truth 'Dear Abby'? Give me a call."



Hsssss, Hsssss.

lazycrockett said:

and off to p&r this topic goes

anyway..i'm glad you put WHICH christians struck back. some ignorant people like to believe ALL christians, be it catholics or whatever, agree with them.
and NO, not all chritians are "weak". as someone who shouldn't be generalizing in the 1st place put it.


love the phrase "walked away from homosexuality" maybe he did..but that line's funny as shit.

Sorry but this already athread in p &r : http://prince.org/msg/105/248453