Have you ever sold up and moved in with your partner? Is it selfish to want to KEEP your own home (and rent it out), either just for security for your own sake, or does it show you are not willing to commit, to the partnership? It seems these days marriage is less of a commitment than sharing a home and mortgage. What are your thoughts?

don't do it

PEJ said:

how would you know????







I agree with Pej, sometimes its better to have your personal space.....JUST IN CASE
[Edited 11/13/07 16:10pm]

shucks i'm wondering if you don't want to move in with a mate period and just keep your separate places if that is being selfish, because I prefer to have my place and he have his own place.

PEJ said:

What are your reasons? You don't want to commit?

huge step, imo. i haven't done it yet. i'd do in the right relationship, but it definitely isn't for everybody.

amorbella said:

That JUST IN CASE is the whole argument, unfortunately.

missfee said:

What if you really really want to. And spend so much time with each other, but financially you MAY lose out, in the long run. Unfortunately finances CAN get in the way of relationships at times.

Maybe find a way to protect your own finances so that you feel safe enough in that area? Does moving in mean you share all your finances? Wouldn't it be financially beneficial for two people to share one mortgage/rent?

MissMe said:

then maybe you really need to sit down and go over ALL the pros and cons.
Nothing is ever "a for sure thing"

And if you decide to move in together
keep your finances seperate and be 50/50 on everything.

heartbeatocean said:

Yes to the latter, but if selling up and moving in with a partner and contributing to their mortgage. I don't know. Bring in solictors and contracts, well anyway, kills the romance and can kill the trust and commitment in a relationship. I wish things were so much simpler and people just could move in, without that doubt in the back of their minds.

MissMe said:

I see your point. I would be frank and open about my fears though -- I tend to be like that.

i lived alone for six years and now i live with my partner. living alone was great, but now i feel like "been there, done that". it's nice to cook meals for someone other than myself and to have someone else's energy influencing me in my living space. the autonomy of living alone is all fine and dandy, but i think too much solitude can make you a little after too long a period.

I moved in with my partner, she hogs the blanket.

Anxiety said:

So now I have to worry about going loopy from being single?

Great.

JerseyKRS said:

You deserve worse!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

she feeds me fucking tofu too.

JerseyKRS said:

OMG, have you become a stick figure?!

JerseyKRS said:

love it.

CarrieMpls said:

she ate chicken today.


and pork.

MissMe said:

true, finances are like the number one cause of a relationship's demise....that's why I prefer to have separate places until we are married. Most people tell me all the time to make sure you live with the person you plan to marry first, but I don't know, i'm just so skeptical of it. I hear and understand what they are saying, but I feel like i'm losing out by living together first. I really think I should live by MYSELF first before anything...

JerseyKRS said:

That's so beautiful.

missfee said:

I agree, you should live by yourself first, especially if you feel that way. Yeah, and I was thinking -- maybe MissMe should marry, just to get some legal protection. Man, marriage can be such a mess...

JerseyKRS said:

Now THAT my friend in any language is PUSSY WHIPPED Nice one Erin

mdiver said:

pfft

a certain someone will probably have you watching graffiti bridge soon!

evenstar said:

Well he would tolerate GB over tofu any day....I have been living with him long enough to know that.

shanti0608 said:

mdiver said:

~~ raises her hand in the air and sways it back and forth while singing Purple rain ~~

heartbeatocean said:

I hear u on that one!