I have a question. Online, offline and most of my existence, I've been approached in a certain way by both men and women.


Its a running joke with me and a friend about how I'm always called "Queen". This happened on some level even before the locs. I had volunteers who were "afraid" to talk to me . I've been told I have a "presence".

This just goes back to that thread about being self-aware.


do people treat you odd or "different" and you are like WTH?

I'm a queen too

But you know, some of them fools are just into fetish and want some chick to dominate and beat their ass

YES...!

@first anyway, i'm approached as that intimidating strong black woman..but usually when i start to talk to them the look on relief on their faces is priceless

and again, this was before my locs as well, it's even more apparent now...
i dont know what it is, or why it's seen as such a bad thing to be so comfortable with one's self...or how that's considered intimidating...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

or they like cheap furniture with panthers and lions and stuff

horatio said:

What in the hell are you saying?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

probably.....

Yeah, some people that don't know me find me intimidating at first. Luckily though, they don't call me nubian queen.

I can understand and relate to what you are saying to a point, but not so much as to have a royal likeness or presence. Sap it up, and enjoy the moments.

Rhondab said:

I could see the 'queen' thing with you, but not sure why that equates to people being "afraid" to talk to you. You look very approachable to me.

everyone thinks I'm a folkie vegetarian.

You do have a presence Miss Rhonda.

I have been treated wierdly for at least twenty years now. I don't smile and so most people assume I'm mean or stuck up. But once they get to know me, they think I am a nice person.

NDRU said:

hi dru

its cuz of the long hair and ur calming presence..ur sooo easy to talk to-i dunno u just have that cool thing goin' on

sweet said:

Hey darlin! Yeah I know where they're coming from. Not really insulting, but funny how often people say "you're vegetarian, right?" even people who've known me for a long time.

Rhondab said:

judging u by your posts in p&r alone...i TOO would address u as a queen and u do have a strong presence online which im sure spills over into real life rhon-dab ..and having 'locs always gives folks the impression that you are super confident and sure of yourself

I'm the opposite of you, I'm a doormat.

sweet said:

Oh no! I'm in for an ass kickin Sorry Queen!

it's split with me. sometimes i get that i'm intimidating, other people call me innocent and sweet.
[Edited 10/9/07 14:00pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

run for your damn life!!!


anywayyyyy.....


Lothan: I thought it was funny that you and Heybaby thought my voice would be deeper I still don't know why. I think my presence is that I'm tall. I think.


Sweet: I think you're right about the locs....and you know I'mma be nice about the dab thing....right...

evenstar said:

Lothan said:

Do you "think" you have been treated weirdly or you imagine so? I have read your posts in the past and I don't think that at all.
[Edited 10/9/07 14:52pm]

Rhondab said:

i'm a lot more shy in real life than i am on here, by the way.

evenstar said:

You text warrior!!

MissMe said:

Thanks.

But my perception is real. People have told me that they thought I was mean until they actually talked to me.

Rhondab said:

In high school i was treated different. wasn't the "typical" black teen in the 90s . it just made me shy. now i think people just view me as very shy (or stuck-up) until they really get to know me. Some people have even told me they were afraid of me at first-i don't know why when i meet people i vibe with really well i tend to loosen up.

retina said:

great big hunk springs to mind though

Er... well, yes.

Not to racially/politically charge the conversation, but there's an archetype that Spike Lee has observed called the "Magic Negro." Well, people -- black, white, rich, poor, male, female, Jew, gentile -- often treat me as such, maybe because of the way I dress or speak or carry myself. I dunno. Nothing malicious, mind you; just some odd perception that I'm not like the "others." Inevitably I disappoint them, as I'm pretty darned average. It often makes me feel like I've let someone down by not being extraordinary.

By the way, Rhondab, you ARE a queen!! You do have a presence... even online.

Lammastide said:

I would be happy to bow down before her