prb said:

No but it uses some cognitive methods along with mindfulness.
It's very intensive- one private therapy to discuss issues that come up during the week and a 2-3 hour group session that teaches specific skills that are broken down into 4 modules: core mindfulness skills, emotion regulation skills, interpersonal effectiveness skills and distress tolerance skills
Self-injurious and suicidal behaviors take first priority, followed by therapy interfering behaviors. Then there are quality of life issues and finally working towards improving one's life generally.
We attended a 20 week long program but there are groups that take much longer 70 weeks or more at times. It is a huge commitment but very worthwhile
Oh and you get 24/7 access to a therapist for the duration of the program.
They expect you to call both if you're having problems or if you have something good to share.[/b][b][Edited 10/8/07 21:38pm]

it all feels like such heavy burden heaped on top of you
and why you?

I don't know if we are a sadder bunch than most, but we probably share our feelings more with each other here than with our real life friends, so the truth comes out here.

I know the more I dwell on it, the sadder I feel for longer. I probably wouldn't so much if I was immersing myself in MY OWN life more, instead of talking in circles about all my problems to online friends going through the same thing, also with no seeming way out and it feels hopeless

(((((Ivy))))) To the days you need strength but seemingly cannot find it... it is there, it's everywhere.

It can be in the unseen wind we feel brush against our skin, the wind that blows through our hair or sends the trees swaying or a piece of paper rolling down a deserted street.

Or unexpected moments, such as a moment today... I had, I have many. Just a few hours ago I went to get my battery changed in my car and as the guy at Auto Zone was so kind to change the battery for me, I looked for some money to tip him... I asked, do people get tipped here for doing this!? He kept saying, no don't worry about it... as he picked up the bad battery and tools and was stepping backward away...

I was still looking for a few bucks, I know I had some... somewhere... but instead I ran across two Harkin Movie tickets...

I said, hey!, I can't find my cash, but.... I have 2 movie tickets and placed them quickly on top of the battery as he was still walking backward through the doors... The value of the tickets was a pretty nice tip... I would say. Good moment and I was thankful. So the story goes... it's in the moments sometimes that bring us our joys... the moments of something so simple and unexpected.

I don't struggle with sad moments too much, but I do require a lot of time alone lately... and I feel content when I am. I don't have children or too many obligations...

Hey, just this evening... I told my aunt (my aunt who raised me and who is almost 80), I told her that having her here I feel I am living life more than when I am alone. I told her most days I work (work hard) and come home, only to await for the next day of work. Having her here, we have dinner together, I take her places she wishes to go... it's nice having her around. She is most likely going back home this weekend... even if I wish they would just move up here...

I am not lonely, I have a special person in my life... but no, my life is not ideal right now, but it is comfortable and it is very fulfilling, even if I do for the most part demand a lot of time alone.

Knowing all the saddness is something too much for me to know... If saddness seems overwhelming to me Ivy, you better bet I will not be bringing my saddness around a lot saddness... I will take it to a place where my soul can be fed, nourished and reborn. Knowing these vital "food for life" places, people and things are very important to recognized and I know mine. You must find yours. When you do, you will know.

I just rambled...
[Edited 10/8/07 20:29pm]

it makes me mad to think about the way mainstream society (including the medical community) treats depression and mental illness.

if you have a flu or cancer or whatever, that's considered an illness and you're given treatment and medication.

if you suffer from depression, then there's "something wrong with you" and "you just need to learn how to get over it" and all that other annoying "buck up!" crap.

i think depression is like a pneumonia of the soul and i *DO* think it's treatable and manageable, if only people who suffered from it were able to access proper help and not feel ostracized for getting such help.

it's stupid. the mind is part of what we are. it's not some separate magic thingamabob that doesn't require maintenance and only malfunctions "if you're a bad person". people fuck you up. life fucks you up. the chemicals in your body can fuck you up. and these things need to be addressed, obviously...yet in the world i live in, that kind of care is considered a luxury. i hate that.

i HATE that.

ivy, push against the current and get that help. don't let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve it or that you can't access it, or that there's "no time" for them to help you, etc. give them hell. check out howard brown or the new LGBT center on halsted, i bet they have mental health services with people who may even be more helpful than specialists you'd encounter via your medical plan. you need to connect with people who can walk through the maze of your feelings and who can figure out the wiring and the plumbing and all that stuff to get to the core of the problem. i hope you are able to find those people. i'm sure they're out there. in the meantime, you know you have a lot of people who love ya and can at least distract you with silliness or who can listen when you need to be heard.

psychodelicide said:

I had a very rough time with employers when I was in the midst of the worst of it. I tried to explain. . . I just needed a little understanding, perhaps a reduction in hours. . . I was TRYING to get it under control (which I eventually did). They seemed to think I was just a weak, lame person. Wheras if I had broken my leg or had some sort of curable cancer, all would have been fine.

Sometimes people sux.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

at my previous work place- things were a little hit or miss- but my immediate collegue was very understanding- she had a friend in similar circumstances- ive been very lucky i guess.- couldnt have gotten thru it otherwise- and kept working.

Some days, I feel very melacholy. Others, I feel downright depressed. I've been battling depression since I was 14 years old. Those of you close to me know my current situation. For those who don't, let's just say I am extremely overwhelmed. I am the caretaker of my whole family and a lot of the time, I am sick of it.

Anyway, I reach some low points in my life where I don't fee like I'll ever be able to raise my head again. Being a Prince fan, it is also a trait that I notice about his fans. A lot of us are a caring bunch but I think a common link is the general sadness we feel.

I go through a lot on an everyday basis but I know there are people worse off. I try to think of them when I'm feeling sorry for myself, but these overwhelming feelings of just grief overcome me. Is it selfish to be so sad, so depressed to the point of wanting to end it all when there are friends of mine who are ill and want nothing more than to live? Is it selfish to think of only my pain and not care about the children I would leave behind should I decide to end it all?

Over the weekend, I boarded a plane. I hate flying but being on that plane made me think. My biggest fear was that the plane would crash. Now if I were truly wanting to die, then a plane crashing would not have mattered. Then I wondered if my fear was a plane crash was not my preferred way of leaving the earth. I would want it to be painless as possible.

Another though occurred to me that it's not that I don't want to live anymore, but that I am tired of the pain. I mean, who can I turn to for help? I have been reaching out for help in my situation for years now.

For those of you that are tired, I know exactly how you feel.

I dont know if this is any help, but try this site...

http://www.babycrowd.com/forums/autism/