I've meet enough ice hearted people in my life to start my own little arctic community. Bosses, friends, coworkers, lovers... they could all have their own little slice of glacier realestate and they probably wouldn't even need coats.

I maybe far far far from perfection, but I at least always take into consideraton where other people are coming from and why they react the way they do...maybe I'm too nice, or maybe I just have door mat printed on my head, or maybe I am just an awful deeply defected person who deserves all this ice.

But brothers and sisters... I can't take much more of the blizzard I seem to have been born into. At this point, it's either the bottle of painkillers on my bureau or a shack in the woods just my bible and me.

What do you guys do when you need to see some warmth and light?

Cuz I tell you family, I'm a freezing to death over here.

Sweeny79 said:

Thanks you two.

Even that little bit helps.

Sweeny79 said:

we love you...I love you more because I can still hear your awesome laugh.

shanti0608 said:

That just made me cry.

Sweeny79 said:

YOU were supposed to laugh missy.



I am serious!

I took this picture a few months ago. Does it illustrate how you feel?

retina said:

Oh man...yes...yes...that's how I feel.

Beautiful photo.

So sad.

shanti0608 said:

Sweeny79 said:

Sweeny79 said:

Thanks.

And I'm sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Not that a hug makes it any better, but here's one anyway:

.

retina said:

It may not make everything better... but it helps when you are grasping at straws.

Keep your chin up and remember that you deserve to be happy.

shanti0608 said:

Thanks for handing me a blanket, starting a fire and getting me a cup of hot tea.

Set something on fire!

Sweeny79 said:

1st -

Now

I have to find my own or create my own daily

I have to make time to do things I love that bring me warmth and light

I have to hold at arms length those that I love who are serving me up coldness and shadows - I have enough of my own and though I try to brighten their lives when I can, I know in my heart it is not my responsibility nor is it theirs to brighten mine - THAT is really my responsibility

I turn off phones
I turn off the TV
I leave my home if need be
I surround myself with things that brighten my life



What do you do for yourself Sweny that brightens your life and adds warmth - what do you really love that stirs your soul and makes you smile from the inside out

Some nice hot chicken soup with a nice cool chocolate ice cream will make you feel better

Many here care about you, so you're not surrounded by cold people as much as you think

I wholly understand.



May I be your neighbor?

Sweethearted Sweeny.

I relate completely to what you've described, and I'm sorry you're currently feeling as if you're drifting alone on an ice floe.

Many times in the past (even if you didn't realize it), to me you've been like sunshine when I needed a bit of thawing out. Please take some comfort in the fact that your warmth is very much felt and appreciated, and shall never be forgotten. I wish only that I could reflect that light back onto you now, in a way which would completely banish the coldness you're experiencing.

Mach said:

The things I do for myself usually involve others... if I can help someone else then I feel good.

Reading a good book helps if all else fails.


But basicly, I'm just really lonely.

ArielB said:

Thank you Ariel

WillyWonka said:

Dear dear Mr. Wonka... I'd love to visit your factory

Sweeny79 said:

I am the same way

My days and nights are filled with doing for others and that makes me happy and thus I am always surrounded by others and yet ... I feel really lonely most times



so weird

Mach said:

Not weird at all.

Sweeny79 said:

I wonder why though, ya know

It's not anything new - a consistant theme in my life for as long as I can remember

Mach said:

Me too....I don't have any answers.

The closest I can come to one is maybe it's because we are rarely understood.

I could ship some Thai sunshine over to you if it'd help. We've got plenty.


Actually, that sounds kinda drug related. Still, it could work either way.




Don't stop being a good, warm person. Some around you might make you feel isolated but you can bet that there are plenty who appreciate you and your warmth. Just look at the org. There's plenty of warmth for you here, so use that for starters to pep yourself up a bit, and gain the strength to keep on keeing on for now. It's all transitory.

retina said:

that's a lonely desolate place all right
(LOVE the photo)

Sweeny79 said:

Your welcome..as I said to you. You have been there for me- I am there for you..that is how I am with my friends.
Get used to it missy..
Just because I am 5000 miles away- that does not stop.
Thanks for all your help in the past.
You are a great lady