heybaby said:

Byron said:

You betcha.

Rhondab said:

Me,too.

Lothan said:

Rhondab said:

Changing the word 'worthy' into 'deserving' changes the entire discussion.

The love I speak of is not the deepfelt love you have for someone you are IN a relationship with.
It is the kind of love, best described by the Dalai Lama:

''If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.''

I hope this quote helps you see the kind of love I mean.

.

heybaby said:

If they didn't love yo back...then I understand. But if there was mutual admiration and conveyance of love....even when the relationship wanes, you still feel the feelings even after it is over....at least I do. If I ever told anyone I loved them....I will do so forever whether we are together or not.

Whap!

Dex,

do any of your loves say, " Just shut up and FUCK ME"

Lothan said:

Damn girl I love you!!!!! I am so on point with you!!!!

Unconditional love, it has to be only two people, including my ex-husband. I still care about his well-being, talk to him on a regular basis, even if we have gone on with our lives. If I don't feel it now (which I am chicken shit when it come to love, I now agree with that about myself), then it was not really love, but a phase of confusion, momentary insanity... in my life. This confusing, chaotic phase lasted about three solid years of my adult life.

If I could of learned all that I know now... I would of choose a different path for sure, alas, apparently everything happens for a reason. Hmm. Most of it I accept, while there are still moments I could of done without, yet I have accepted these moments as well. One has too to move on with life after all is said and done, no matter what, I feel.

However, young love does and has disappeared all together (for me) and I can laugh about some of it now. While love, as we grow with life and experience, is far more resilient, if not eternal. Could this be called mature love? There is a big difference I strongly feel, at least is has been for me.

For me loving someone is reserved for just a "special few" in my life. I believe that all ppl come into our lives for a reason. Some ppl come into our lives for just a short period of time. I guess maybe just to teach us something- just for a lesson at that time in our life. Then there are ppl that are there to stay for a long period of time - ppl that you can learn and grown with.
There have been ppl that were in my life that I loved with all I had and it just was not meant to be- I still appreciate everything I learned from that person but that does not mean I still love them. My love is reserved and while I can still care about someone's well-being that does not mean that I still feel love for them.
I spent 10 years with someone that I respected and that I learned a lot from and I still carry those lessons with me today. Some say that since I no longer love him that I never really loved him.
I do not think that is true really..there are different types/levels of love. We just misunderstood the level at which our love was at when we made the long term commitment. I learned a very valuable lesson from those 10 years.
I wish him all of the happiness - we decided it was best to cut all ties with one another. We spent our due time together..that is what was meant to be- we held on for way too long without feeling the love that we both needed to stay together as a couple.

ZAUBERFLOTE said:

Not currently....THERE ARE NO LOVES TO SPEAK OF RIGHT NOW...

I lack the energy to read all this shit right now but I'm cool w/ my exes. The only thing I regret is that it took me so long to end those relationships - had I gotten out sooner instead of waiting for everything to DIE I think I would be "healthier" now. But it's the past, you learn & move on. Shit is cool now, I recently spent "quality time" w/ the only one who still has it like that & they've done some FUCKED UP SHIT in the past, but @ the core they're good guys which is why I fell for their asses in the first place. My belief is that being in love is fleeting, but once you love someone it really doesn't fade (which is why it can hurt so bad). I still love these guys, but I'll never compromise for them in the ways I have before. We're friends, nothing bullshitty or weepy about it. Clarity is key, & now is whatever I want it to be in regard to them. It's breezy & it works for me...

DexMSR said:

I absolutely have to agree. Love IS a wonderful thing.

Amen!

I still love the motherfucker that I was with for 8 years. I broke it off after he fucked up.

Don't know why, but that love is still there.....although we can never be together ever again.

teller said:

That was a long orgbreak.

I used to think I could never stop loving somebody once I started. I still think that, but I'm less sure that I'm right.

I will say that I think some bridges ought to be burned. Love or not, sometimes people need to be kicked out of our lives. I know people who can't do it, and suffer the consequences of the lingering, toxic ex. I'm all for being civil, but I'm also making sure to keep some needed boundaries in my life.

teller said:[quote]

evenstar said:

This makes sense to me, but there's a nuance that I've been considering. . .

Well, look. Sometimes we flat-out invent idealized people, lie to ourselves, force people into boxes, etc. And then we are really in love with our own idea of a person, and that can fall totally apart.

But there's also this more subtle thing. Where. . .hmm. . .like, when you fan embers the right way, they glow. And sometimes one person brings that out in another. And you fall in love with the glowing person. And then you break up, or whatever, and stop "fanning", and the glow fades away. Then, to me, it feels more like loving a memory of that person who doesn't exist anymore. . .now just a dark, burned-up thing.

HereToRockYourWorld said:[quote]

teller said:

Interesting. I had a long talk with a very dear friend of mine once, regarding this subject. He was wondering whether he had really truly loved his ex-girlfriend or if he loved the image he had of her from the time when they met.
It makes you wonder, if people are in love with being in love sometimes.

But I still agree: when the heart is moved when you think back about a past lover, the love is still there. You still smile at that memory and hope that he or she is doing well.

I feel like one shallow cold hearted bitch because I no longer love any of my exes. I do not hate them or wish them unhappiness.
I hold the time we had together as special and I appreciate all I learned during our time together. I had an ex that abused me and I do not hold a grudge or hate him for it. I hope he resolves some of the issues that caused him to be so angry and violent. I no longer love nor hate any of them..I am just the type of person that moves on when it is done it is done..
I wish them well but I no longer feel love for them at all.

shanti0608 said:

Sounds pretty healthy to me.

For me love is trust understanding, love two side not one side, love
can be blind don't see any thing happen after it to late. I learn
that the herd way.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Hi there beautiful lady

roseland said:

Yeah.
I've learned to steer away from 'em.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

I know how you feel, I had to let someone go for my own health and sanity.....I still love him, but I love myself more and knew the relationship hurting me in may ways, just couldnt do it

It was one of the hardest things I ever had2 do, I'm in a happy relationship with some1 else now, although Ill still always pray for my past love cause God knows he needs it!

'If I loose the highs, at least I'll spare the lows' that lyric sums it up really

beautifullandb said:

When you've had enough, you've had enough. I'm glad to hear you moved on.

I've come to realize that I can not longer speak intelligently on this particular subject or anything related to it... that's not a good thing.