SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I would not say he is a bad kid, he doesn't seem like it. but this is my husbands "little girl" no one would be too good for her.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

jess555ja said:

you're the oldest too, right? my whole life i was the bad, fuck-up kid, until my sister started acting like a teenager when she was 17-18. my mom told me a few months ago (when i was teasing her about missing us since we've moved out and gone to school) that she & my dad were really happy that i went away to school, because i was so horrid to be around. true, maybe, but ouch.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Honey, just remember that saying about the bird. you don't want to hold the bird in your hands too tight cuz you'll crush it. She's finding herself and you have to remember that. She's gonna want her independence and all that. It's natural. You did, I did, we all do. Just keep those lines of communication open and love her even when you want to bring out the belt In the end, you will see you have done a good job and things will be fine. You'll see

evenstar said:

did you get doom on her ass?

evenstar said:

Nope, I'm the middle child. I have two sisters and they aren't angels or anything, but I definitely gave my parents a hard time between the ages of 13-18. I still have problems with this because my parents like to focus on my flaws and not the good things



Damn, your parents said that to you? That's harsh

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i started crying and then pretended to stub my toe so she wouldn't know why

evenstar said:

thats not nice but being a parent I'm guilty too of saying things to my daughter that aren't very nice. I really try hard to watch what I say to her, my mother was never really good at thinking before she spoke, so I know how hurtful words can be

evenstar said:

Awwwww

One day she'll be glad she raised Joan of Arc

jess555ja said:

families are so messed up sometimes.

evenstar said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

so those voices in my head are saints and stuff?!

evenstar said:

Uhhhhh, yeah!

Don't even front Laurel

I was the only female influence in my younger sisters life from 12 onwards
and had a pretty big hand in raising her before that.
(I even had to give the talk )

When 14 years old hit normal speech went out of the window and was substituted with grunts in between listening to music.
That stopped when she left school.
As for boyfriends she respects herself so I trust her judgement but if she needs advice I am always available.

she is in a stable relationship now and 19 in a week

PaisleyPark5083 said:

My daughter has been asking me if its ok for her to have a bf, she is 13 will be 14 in December. This is so hard for me, I have told her no, as I feel she is still too young to have a bf. Then I think she is being honest with me, she is asking me and doesn't want to hide things from me, maybe I should let her. I almost feel like Im asking for her hide things from me by telling her no. I hid a lot of things from my parents and would not want the same to happen with my daughter, it's so hard

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Thank you....

...and it is not easy no matter what. Yes it does come very fast. It seems like they go from innocent girls playing, needing you and thinking boys are "yucky" to wanting to be independent, private and boy crazy over night.

You know it's coming, but it still does not prepare you for it.

I'm sure your daughter will be fine and everything will turn out for the best. There will be rough times and bumps along the way, but it will turn out fine in the end.

veronikka said:

It's like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. If you say no, does that make her go behind your back? If you say yes, is she too young? What is the right age to let her have a boyfriend?

I wish there were some kind of parents manual with all the answers but there is not .

My daughter will be 17 in January. She hasnt lost her mind totally but she will test the boundaries.

She is opinionated (I wonder where she gets that from ) and this has always been the issue with us.....the mouth.

I established some rules to allow her to vent when she was about 6 because she use to fall out because I wouldn't let her state her "opinion". We have these "no holds barred" sessions where she can state her opinion, vent and complain in respectful manner so she feels like she has a voice. It has worked. So whenever she has some issue with me or anything, she now feels like she can have an opinion and still understand she is a kid and needs to be respectful.

So far, the bumps have been minor.

The most interesting thing I keep hearing from older adults is that it actually gets worse when your children become adults because as a parent you can't really say anything when you see your kids just do stupid stuff. That never stopped my mom though...


I've learned that being a parent is the hardest thing on the planet because hell, there are days when you just don't like your kid and if you said it ppl with think you're awful. You love them but damn it, they do need to go to camp for a minute.

Sowhat said:

Exactly what I ask myself, when will she be old enough to have a bf, I remember I used to say 14 now 14 is just around the corner and I still think she is too young. Will she ever be old enough to have a bf in my eyes, probably not

Sowhat said:

This cannot be stressed enough. If your daughter loves music and she continues to disrespect you, take the stereo out of her room. If you think it's silly or harsh or both, I understand. You don't have to agree with me, but I shaped up almost IMMEDIATELY when my dad ripped the phone and stereo from my room. It was torture not having my tunes and my 3-way calling. I was also restricted from participating in my clubs/teams, etc if my grades were low. And if I was acting up, I simply wasn't given allowance and was required to stay in for the weekend. It probably feels awful to be a strict enforcer but he had no other choice as I was relentless with sarcasm and had a sword for a tongue when opposing my dad/stepmom. They simply had no other choice. Don't let her control you. Even at 14, she needs this structure at home.


Totally. Due to my dad's overbearing ways, I was forbidden to do most things my friends could do. MTV, horror movies, dating. It assisted in screwing me up socially at the time, financially later, and when I was on my own at 18, I did some really stupid things in my newly emancipated state of naivety.

being 14 rocks

veronikka said:

EXACTLY...

My daughter is 12...very out going....is going to be beautiful when she older (I'm picturing the guys now ) and is a great kid .....I only hope she misses all that teenage crap .....actually I never gave my mum and dad any trouble

Mach said:

I like this idea!

What a wonderful "community" we have here on the org, I felt the lowest of low's this morning, and you all rallied to help me out...as they say, you are good folk..

Now I need a drink!

PaisleyPark5083 said:

oh wait for me! I will have one is 6 hours

ZombieKitten said:

drinks for all!!

PaisleyPark5083 said:

ZombieKitten said:

WTF is "insisnt" -