Last night I went out with some friends. It was one of those nights when the original group of people stayed more or less intact the whole evening while everybody at the same time talked to strangers as well. It was fun and exciting, especially since I haven't been out much lately. Of course in the back of my mind I had the thought that maybe, just maybe, this would be the night when I would meet "the woman of my dreams". There's always a small tiny chance, right? Well, for most of the night I didn't see anyone who seemed even remotely interesting and nobody seemed to show interest in me either.

But then, just as we were about to leave the one-year anniversary party for our favourite hang-out Inferno to go to a newly-opened nightclub, a interesting woman came in through the door. She was beautiful, around my age and had a very sympathetic air about her. In fact, she fit my mental image of my future wife perfectly. We immediately noticed each other and ended up looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds. She then weaved through the crowd to get to the other side of the room, and as she passed me she let her hands rest on my arms for what seemed like an unusually long time. Then as soon as she reached the bar she turned around and looked at me and smiled. If ever I'd experienced the typical female way of saying "I want you to come over to talk to me", this was it. But just as this happened, all my friends were moving out the door and kept calling me to catch up....so I left with them.

Today I've been thinking a lot about that woman. The odds say that we probably wouldn't have hit it off, but who knows? I never tried to find out if that was actually the case. And everything about her just seemed so right. Maybe she was "the one"?

Have you ever met someone, felt a connection in that way, and then not seized the opportunity and hated yourself for it afterwards? Maybe I'll feel better if I hear that I'm not alone about this.

LMAO!!!

We both started threads that started out almost the exact same way.



Now let me read your thread.


[Edited 9/23/07 12:14pm]

Yes. I have felt that before. You aren't alone.

I think there are more than one "the one"s out there. I used to think you were meant for just one person, but now I'm not sure.

See, I can do proper posts.

Tough call!

Yes, I've been there and yes afterwards you just go

I'd have stayed with my friends though like you did. Don't dwell on the missed opportunity. Hopefully, you'll see her again.

Yes. too many times. unfotunately i'm too shy to do anything about it.

hokie1 said:

Hmm, just as I posted this thread I realized that it might turn into a discussion about "the one" philosophy versus the "whoever is a good match" philosophy. That wasn't my intention. I'm rather just trying to get at that moment when you don't pursue an opportunity to meet someone you might have fallen in love with, regardless if it's "the one" or not.



And you proved that where?

We have a really cheesy club called Inferno here too.

And naw, I don't like to let opportunities like that pass me by. I would have told my friends to go on without me and that I would catch up with them later.

Nothinbutjoy said:

Aww, thanks.
Maybe you're even right that I'll bump into her again. Stockholm still feels like a small town.

I've been in that situation before but my boyfriend ruined it.

retina said:

Once upon a time, a looooong time ago, a man walked up to me in a club, whispered in my ear "you are so beautiful" and before I could register what to say back, or even get a good look at him he turned and walked away and walked right out the door.

JustErin said:

Ours isn't cheesy.

The nightclub we went on to was excellent by the way. They had a brand new type of sound system that produced a more clear, crisp sound that somehow felt appropriately loud for dancing but at the same time allowed you to talk even though you were fairly close the the speakers. I was amazed.



Well duh! Me too. That's why I'm so mad at myself today.



Never ever?

CarrieMpls said:

So you basically have no idea if you would have even been interested in talking to him?

retina said:

Not that I can think of. Even though I really hate rejection and do not deal with it very well, I sure like to set myself up for it a lot.

I guess this really hasn't happened to me then. I have been married for ages and I got married young.

This thread is making me depressed.

DanceWme said:

Well then I wouldn't exactly blame you for not pursuing it. It wouldn't have been too nice if you'd left your boyfriend standing just to go hit on some other guy.

hokie1 said:

How so? Having opportunities pass us by is not something we single people particularly enjoy, you know? lol

retina said:

No clue, it was that fast.

I suppose it's perhaps better that I didn't. If we'd talked who knows, but it's likely I'd have either shyed away myself (I was even more shy then than I am now) or I would have thought he was just trying to get in my pants anyway, so would have been annoyed. I still remember it from time to time. It leaves it a kind of pure and simple compliment.

retina said:

please..speak for urself

retina said:

I just think it would be nice to see someone, a total stranger and feel an instant connection that you just can't quite explain.

CarrieMpls said:

Aww, no reason for you to be shy. None at all.



You know, I've actually been similarly suspicious lately, although not about women wanting to get in my pants, but rather that they might be interested in me for other "wrong" reasons that it's more common that women go for. I guess I've just seen too many examples of superficial attraction to not be affected by it.



I know what you mean. It's nice to have those kinds of memories on rainy days.

hokie1 said:

ooh!

That reminds me... I DID have that once. I was waiting at a bus stop when a GORGEOUS man was walking acorss the street. I was basically staring the entire time and I couldn't stop myself. When he got up to where I was he stopped in his tracks and just smiled at me.

I was caught! I smiled and blushed and looked away.

I'm too shy.

hokie1 said:

Well even though you're married you're still out there meeting people, right? And it's not like we just completely switch our attraction off when we're in a relationship. Chances are that if you haven't met a stranger who you've felt a connection with in your current life then you wouldn't have if you'd been single either.

CarrieMpls said:

Most people would have said that he's the one who blew it though, since it's usually expected of the man to take the initiative.

CarrieMpls said:

OK now that I'm sitting here thinking I guess it may have happened. I remember once in college this guy, I mean totally gorgeous, luscious, sexy guy was in the same bar I was. We looked at each other and I can't remember if I smiled at him or not, but he smiled at me. I guess I gave him some kind of cue that told him I was interested because he came over and told me he'd seen me there before and that I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and he had to take me on a date.

That was an electrifying moment.

Man, he was so hot.

i hate that. i spent all of one semester exchanging the most intense glances with a guy in one of my classes, but we never spoke to each other.

evenstar said:

Intense glances are the BEST aren't they?! Done with the right person at just the right time it can melt me.

retina said:

Speaking of similarly suspicious... I don't trust any guy that hits on me anymore. Ever. It's sad that I've allowed myself to get jaded. I can find plenty of men interested in sleeping with me, but none intersted in actually connecting and dating. (And my days of having fuck buddies are long behind me.) Not to mention I simply don't ever see real life positive examples of relationships where men can stay committed. In fact I'm bombarded by examples in the other direction. Alas, I've all but given up.

OK, that's not what the thread's about. But it's been on my mind of late.

hokie1 said:

So you're saying you turned him down?

I guess this was after you got married. edit
[Edited 9/23/07 12:53pm]

hokie1 said:

yeah, they are! i'm totally the same way.