Yes, you have every right to have feelings about this. You have a child involved, he has brought another child into the mix. IMO, I would speak up and tell the attorney everything about your past involving him and your daugther? Do you know any details as to why he would be getting custody and not the child's mother? He shouldn't be allowed to have control or custody over a person that cannot defend themselves. It's the one good thing about my fake brothre in law hardly being around, he had little influence over the boys and I want it to stay that way.

Keep your head up baby and let me know if you wanna talk

This is very difficult. I feel like I'm going to be sick. STRESS!!!!!

It's a case of "be careful what you wish for". I was ready to facilitate a relationship between them and try to forgive the past while protecting my daughter at the same time. I looked at her this morning and just wanted to cry.

Another reason of concern is that he and his wife have mutual restraining orders on each other, so I'm wondering if she has a screw loose as well, and whether they are violent and/or destructive.


Supa: Unless he married a total doormat (which is probably the case), it should be very easy for her to gain custody. I don't understand why her attorney said that he is making it difficult for her. He has no leg to stand on if he's already lost custody of his first child. The attorney already knew about this when she wrote to me. Weird.

Everyone's given excellent advice.
One thing you have to remember is that girl is your daughter's half sister.
They will probably want to try to get to know each other at some point in the future. Anything you can do to help that girl is helping your daughter too.
Stay strong for the children.

Any information that you can give to save a child is the most important thing, they have to be protected from monsters like him.

Oh, Karla, I am so sorry. Poor sweetheart. She's very fortunate to have such a strong, confident role-model and mother. I really admire that in you, and all children deserve that compassion and protection. And what a great stepdad she's got, too.

I'm probably late for the party, but I know you and I'll assume you already know what you have to do. Do it for the other child and his soon-to-be ex-wife. The hardest part of this situation was over several years ago. It won't be as difficult as it seems.

I'll reiterate what Retina and others mentioned, due to my personal experience with a deadbeat mom. Even though her father is unfit, your daughter deserves to be reminded that even though he can't be around, he loves her very much and that will never change! Assure her that she is worthy of love and that her stepfather loves her unconditionally and considers her his daughter as well. Love, support and security is more important to abandoned children than food or water.

Thanks for being such a great mom.

gemini13 said:

I would be angry and hurt. It seems that nayone with even half a heart would be.




Help the lawyer in anyway you can, and take your daughter to counseling, maybe you can do a family deal.

Oh and... I'm sorry your ex is such a freaking ass, but I'd be jumping for joy that he didn't stick around to do more damage.

So sorry to hear that. How tragic! He is a bad man and should not be around young children. If you can, I suggest that you and your daughter get a little counseling in this. And YES you have every right to be angry about this. How dare he have another child without taking care of the first one he had...and how dare he hurt that child too. That's your daughters younger sibling! I'd be mad too!

One thing I would let your daughter know is that she can't see her dad because he's not a good person and he might hurt her. Not that it has anything to do with her but "Daddy has issues".

I really hope that you both will overcome your anger for his hurtful ways and find some healing.