If my nipples were on fire, I'd almost certainly be dreaming.

Prince comes to my house and offers me three options, which are rock out; rock out; and rock out.

The Supreme Being would choose me to save the world by preaching that we should love Him and one another.

My favourite sexual promise to another Orger would be never told to any of you!

If I were invisible for the day but lost the use of my invisible legs during that time, I'd do my best to protect helpless people.

Call me old fashioned, but rap sucks.

If I were to write a third testament to the bible, it'd be about .0001% as good as the first two.

Madonna, Prince, Liberace and my best friend should put on a show for charity but give me great seats.

And finally, everybody reading this should vote for a Democrat for president, or at least Ron Paul.

If my nipples were on fire, then my balls must be on a roll.

Prince comes to my house and offers me three options, which are three nutshells with which I have to guess which one has the pea under it. If I guess correctly, he leaves quietly. If I guess wrong, I have to accept his watchtower. After the Rock'N'Roll-Hall-Of-Famer shuffles 'em around a bit, I look down at 'em for a moment or two. "Well?" he impatiently asks. "Shhhh....!"I respond "I'm trying to locate the pea using my super-para-mental powers that resulted from a radioactive isotope that my parents mistook for a marital aid on the day that I was concieved.....". One of Prince's eyebrows (the left one I think) cocks upward causing his former-"Slave"-tatted face to take on a somewhat frustrated/WTF expression. After a couple of quiet yet uncomfortable minutes, I burst out screaming at the nutshells, "Where are you!?! ANSWER ME, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!".
The next thing I hear is his purple voice grumbling "Fuck this shit...." & the fading "clack clack clack" sounds emitting from from his stiletto-heels as his diminutive-genius-ass makes it way offa my front walkway.

The Supreme Being would choose me to save the world by allowing me to respond to the these questions with more than 15 words.

My favourite sexual promise to another Orger would be to allow 'em to lug me around in wheelbarrel should I ever become invisible & without the use of my invisible legs.

If I were invisible for the day but lost the use of my invisible legs during that time, I'd fulfill a certain lucky Orger's promise.

Call me old fashioned, but do so with a tone of respect, you ungrateful, pimple-faced whipper-snapping bastard.

If I were to write a third testament to the bible, it'd be about 12 pages long, in braille, & would include various stories about Jesus owning an antique-shop with his pet/collegue, a large punch-drunk kangaroo, & the wacky adventures that result every week when a customer facing a life-crisis/crossroading dilema would walk in. Each "parable" would end with Jesus talking to God about a valuable lesson that He learned about mere sinners ( a la Mork & Mindy) & then with a psalm.

Madonna, Prince, Liberace and my best friend should probably worry, since, with Liberace being in the group, probably means that they are all dead & burning in one the lower rings of Hell.

And finally, everybody reading this should stop reading this post right about.....now.


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[Edited 9/20/07 19:11pm]

If my nipples were on fire, I'd be in a lot of pain.

Prince comes to my house and offers me three options, which are um...1) quit looking at me like that, 2) i said quit it!!! and 3) all right, there is no option....i said stop

The Supreme Being would choose me to save the world by reason of insanity???

My favourite sexual promise to another Orger would be

If I were invisible for the day but lost the use of my invisible legs during that time, I'd slide around on the ground using my arms in order to act like the fool I would if my legs were functioning.

Call me old fashioned, but I'm not, so whatever.

If I were to write a third testament to the bible, it'd be about um, stuff...

Madonna, Prince, Liberace and my best friend should stay as far away from each other as possible!!!!!

And finally, everybody reading this should be highly disturbed?