Every family seems to have "issues".
This one doesn't get along with that one, or that one isn't speaking to this one.

When it comes to a relative or a family member that grates on your nerves or does things to wrong you...how do YOU deal with it?

I am good at faking it. I can go to a family function and speak with a relative that I can't stand, just to keep the peace.
My wife, on the other hand, considers that hypocritical. She has no problem shunning someone and making her dislike well-known. Of course, that has sometimes escalated into a fight (not physical, but nonetheless).

To fake or to fight? THAT is the question!

fake it. that's working wonderfully with my family at the moment.

PurpleJedi said:

i do not like faking behavior, as a general rule. i prefer the direct approach.

that being said, compromise does involve some faking.

as far as shunning or not shunning a family member i don't know. it is important to have personal boundaries and to defend them. other than that i say family members need our love and support

fake it and MOVE.
you get along so much better when there's a bit of distance there.

everytime i know when i family is about to begin an act of insults and drama..i just pretend i'm somewhere else..

I cut them off for a while.

we only have to get together now and then, so I am civil with them all

evenstar3 said:

You just have to sometimes, fake it!

in my wild days i called a couple relatives a bitch. in my current peaceful days i just don't attend relative gatherings.

The relatives I sometimes have a problem with are so old that geting mad at them for saying silly things would be kind of like getting mad at a baby for screaming.

I don't like to fight. Coming from a home with a mom who was a master at emotional abuse made me very good at faking it just to keep the peace.

But now that I am older and a mother too, I have noooo problem cutting assholes off with a quickness. I'm not gonna fight or fake anymore, I'll just ignore you.
Family functions, I'll act like I don't see you. Funerals, Weddings, whatever, I will not speak to you and look right past you. Ain't no need for arguing. The message will be sent.

gemini13 said:

Thats where I am for now.....I'm the youngest of the four kids at 40, but you'd swear we were still little kids....and of course I catch all the crap with both barrels since I'm the one who lives the furthest away....just got tired of hearing it, so its been a minute since I've spoken to them.....

...I'll probably call when I get back from the desert...

reneGade20 said:

Sometimes it's the only thing you can do. Why subject yourself to that kinda crap?

fake it

gemini13 said:

You've really got to.

The issues I have with my family aren't petty (to me). They're serious, and they concern racism, abuse, and operating at such infantile circuits that even knowing I'm related to people who demostrate this behavior has brought me to physical sickness. What hurts me most is seeing them settling. They're not even alive.

Changing my phone number. They're garbage.

i've been working on a policy to keep negative stuff out of my life be it friends or relatives or whatever, if they cause me stress i keep them out of my life until they are ready to grow up.

I only have one family member that drives me nuts, my brother. The good thing is he bugs everyone of us, the whole extened family of 18! So, we only invite him to major holidays and the little kids birthdays, we never invite him to occasions unless it's a must!! keeps us all-

PaisleyPark5083 said:

I figure I can like anyone the one time a year or so I have to see them. And that gets me presents at Xmas, so there.