So the other day the Admiral and I were sitting around on "Nervous Goat Island" (formerly known as "Island of Hot Nearsighted Former Stewardesses Who Just Disappeared in the Middle of the Night"). We were surfing the Net on the computer we crafted out of coconuts and noticed a few things. First of all, both the Admiral and I are really sorry that we left our credit cards on the mainland because, well, the free porn sites suck. Two, the Org has pretty much gone to hell and a handbasket since the Captain left town. I mean whole weeks go by with nary a mention of girl on girl erotica. And hookers, forget it, they might as well not exist at all in the Disneyfied version of the Org that has come to be. And then you have my alter ego there, talking about how he doesn't get any from his wife and how that has driven him to cross dressing. The Captain sometimes has a hard time believing he actually shares a scrotum with that guy.

So the Captain was surfing and I came across this whole 50 Cent/Kanye West feud. And a light bulb of indeterminate wattage went off in ol'Cappy's head. What if I challenged Gotta to a contest, winner take all. If his boring ass wins, the Captain will retire and never make another appearance in the Org again. If I win, same deal. If I win, Gotta would have to leave and the Captain could come back and rule the Org forever.

The Admiral and I are still working out the details but we'll figure something out. Trust me, we've got time. All we have is time. And the dream of coming back to the Org, And several hundred coconuts, many that the Admiral has defiled in ways I don't want to go into.

Stay tuned...

This thread fills me with an urge to defecate.

Cloudbuster said:

At least you can. Try having a healthy bowel movement after 400 consecutive days of coconuts,

CaptainChaos said:

Let me see you try.

It's 1:12 in the afternoon and I haven't had my coffee yet

Wasn't Captain Chaos that dweeby little kid on South Park?

Mach said:

We have found a way to make coffee out of dirt, rain, and goat saliva. Takes like crap but damn if it don't wake you up in the morning.

i think there is room enough on the ORG for the both of youse..... i'd hate to see one identity swallow the other.

CaptainChaos said:

thefrog said:

CaptainChaos (according to Wikipedia):

Very funny alter ego of Dom Deluise in "Cannonball Run" 1 and 2.

(Also)

Somewhat crude but extremely funny alter ego created by mediocre Org resident GottaLetitgo. Was loved by many and mourned by just as many. Possesses a very large penis. No known employment but a devoted patron to prostitutes. Has seen more Jenna Jameson films than she actually filmed. Never married but may have a few children. Presumed dead but rumored to be living on an island with frequent companion AdmiralDisorder, who also, by many accounts, is very well-endowed.

XxAxX said:

The Captain believes that Gotta is cramping his style and ruining the franchise. It's time to take action.

The Admiral is laughing because you said swallow.

CaptainChaos said:

Understood. An imaginary world in which you have a big cock.

CaptainChaos said:

thefrog said:

Yeah, in all honesty, the Admiral is not really as well hung as the Captain. It's the difference between a ruler and a yardstick.

Can we just declare me the winner and we can end all of this nonsense?

And from what I have been able to discern from my goat contacts on the island. they have every reason to be nervous

This is what happens when you don't delete old accounts. Let this be a lesson to all of you.

Also, I believe that all the paint chips I ate as a child might have had more of an effect that I thought,

Captain, I could've sworn you died 5 times already.

AnckSuNamun said:

He has. But since I have not come up with another established alter ego, he's taken advantage of a void that apparently needs to be filled in my life.

Take that, Cappy...this thread is as lifeless as Britney Spears' dancing...