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Thread started 09/09/07 1:16pm

Teacher

My sister has anorexia

Last night my mum phoned me and told me my sister Sophia has anorexia and that she's had it for about 10 years. sad She's always (or as we can see now, for a little more than 10 years) been slimmer than the rest of the family and both me and my dad has remarked on her being skinny before but always got the "just cos she's skinny and you're overweight doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her" but I HAVE been looking at her collar bones and her hip bones thinking about it...but she has been eating only now we found out she's been purging... she's ALWAYS (and by that I mean always) been anal about locking the door when she's in the loo etc and when she was over at my place she'd always eat and then take a bath, I never thought anything of it cos she didn't have a bath tub and I did/do... of course now I realise it was the only way for her to be able to run the water to drown the noises of her throwing up. Dammit bawl

So I'd love to hear from Orgers who have suffered from anorexia or have family members or friends who have - how do I stop this guilt that I feel that I know is irrational and how do I best help her? I've gotten to learn about and study anorexia in my teacher's/horse back riding instructor's courses because it's a very real problem but it's different when you're in the middle of it. What do I do, what can I do? headlp
I have to add that I'm looking into moving to the town where my sis/mum/niece live so I can be there to help them - sis is seeing a counselor, a doc and an eating disorder team which will sometimes call her into the hospital to stay for a week or two. I've felt I need to be with them for quite a while now but this really settles it.
So people, any tips? Thanks for reading. grouphug
// Jen
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Reply #1 posted 09/09/07 1:22pm

ArielB

hug I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I had a solution.
At least it explains why her pants fell off.

I don't know what causes it, so I wouldn't know how to solve it. to me it always seemed like just a matter of how people look at themselves. I'm guessing the only way to know is to ask them what goes in their mind.
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Reply #2 posted 09/09/07 1:28pm

roodboi

I'm so sorry to hear this...I can't offer advice although I wish I could...

but I can offer this...hug
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Reply #3 posted 09/09/07 1:31pm

MIGUELGOMEZ

I hope she gets help. Hang in there and good luck to her.
MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits"
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Reply #4 posted 09/09/07 1:33pm

HereToRockYour
World

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You're doing the right thing just by taking it really seriously and looking for ways to be supportive.

rose
oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1!
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Reply #5 posted 09/09/07 1:37pm

rushing07

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I'm sorry to hear that. sad
Wish I could help you somehow but I know very little about this disease.

Hang in there.
hug
I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt.
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Reply #6 posted 09/09/07 1:39pm

One4All4Ever

hug
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Reply #7 posted 09/09/07 1:49pm

Rhondab

I'm sorry Teacha....

I've suffered from Bulemia (but not anorexia) and still battle body image issues. Did my therapy and still dealing. She's an addict in some ways so its going to be a day to day battle. Love her and support her.
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Reply #8 posted 09/09/07 1:49pm

Teacher

Thanks all grouphug

Ariel, you're an ass and I love you for making me laugh lol
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Reply #9 posted 09/09/07 1:52pm

Teacher

Rhondab said:

I'm sorry Teacha....

I've suffered from Bulemia (but not anorexia) and still battle body image issues. Did my therapy and still dealing. She's an addict in some ways so its going to be a day to day battle. Love her and support her.


Thanks for sharing Rhonda hug I know she's an addict, our parents are both addicts so we both are prone to addiction - for a long time I thought we were both free of it but recently I've realised that I AM an addict, if not a substance addict - I've holed up in my home and have great difficulty getting outta the house. And now it's in the open that my sister is anorexic. It's a control addiction, I know this and we all have to work on it.

rose

Jen
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Reply #10 posted 09/09/07 1:55pm

Serious

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Sadly I don't have any advice for you. sad hug
With a very special thank you to Tina: Is hammer already absolute, how much some people verändern...ICH hope is never so I will be! And if, then I hope that I would then have wen in my environment who joins me in the A....
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Reply #11 posted 09/09/07 3:13pm

Rhondab

Teacher said:

Rhondab said:

I'm sorry Teacha....

I've suffered from Bulemia (but not anorexia) and still battle body image issues. Did my therapy and still dealing. She's an addict in some ways so its going to be a day to day battle. Love her and support her.


Thanks for sharing Rhonda hug I know she's an addict, our parents are both addicts so we both are prone to addiction - for a long time I thought we were both free of it but recently I've realised that I AM an addict, if not a substance addict - I've holed up in my home and have great difficulty getting outta the house. And now it's in the open that my sister is anorexic. It's a control addiction, I know this and we all have to work on it.

rose

Jen



You are right...its a control addiction.

Work through it...she'll be fine and stronger for the fight.

God bless ya hug
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Reply #12 posted 09/09/07 3:16pm

Spookymuffin

hug
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Reply #13 posted 09/09/07 3:43pm

Lammastide

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Teacher, question... If your sister is doing a binge-purge cycle, are you sure she's anorexic and not bulemic? Anorexics diet to excess or, in the most dire cases, abstain altogether from food to constantly lose weight; bulemics eat regularly, but purge through excessive exercise, laxatives and/or self-indueced vomiting, like your sister, to generally maintain a low weight. Some people suffer from a combination of the two (that is, they purge and constantly lose weight) -- that is particularly dangerous.
[Edited 9/9/07 17:06pm]
Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #14 posted 09/09/07 3:47pm

Lammastide

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.
[Edited 9/9/07 15:48pm]
Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #15 posted 09/09/07 4:38pm

wlcm2thdwn

Show her the pictures of little children in poorer countries that wish they could eat but can't get any food. and she's throwing hers up disbelief, no sympathy here.
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Reply #16 posted 09/09/07 4:56pm

Lammastide

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wlcm2thdwn said:

Show her the pictures of little children in poorer countries that wish they could eat but can't get any food. and she's throwing hers up disbelief, no sympathy here.

Believe me, no one is throwing up food because it's a fun, cute thing to do. It's a very real clinical disorder, and sufferers deserve as much support as, say, someone with a physical ailment.
Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #17 posted 09/09/07 5:01pm

Rhondab

wlcm2thdwn said:

Show her the pictures of little children in poorer countries that wish they could eat but can't get any food. and she's throwing hers up disbelief, no sympathy here.



This is so ugly and ignornant to say.

You obviously have no idea what this illness is about.
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Reply #18 posted 09/09/07 5:17pm

ZombieKitten

my sister was severly underweight at one stage, but not for very long, hers was linked to heavy marijuana use (she never bothered to eat) and then afterwards for a couple of years just didn't eat (which is when I suspected anorexia) but she is quite overweight now hmmm I think she really messed up her metabolism. She won't talk about this time, I think it's quite hazy in her memory. But the photos of her from then are shocking sad
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Reply #19 posted 09/09/07 5:19pm

ZombieKitten

Lammastide said:

wlcm2thdwn said:

Show her the pictures of little children in poorer countries that wish they could eat but can't get any food. and she's throwing hers up disbelief, no sympathy here.

Believe me, no one is throwing up food because it's a fun, cute thing to do. It's a very real clinical disorder, and sufferers deserve as much support as, say, someone with a physical ailment.


I saw a documentary that actually proved that starvation severely affects brain function. Once they are that malnourished intervention is needed, they can't help themselves sad
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Reply #20 posted 09/09/07 5:29pm

Lammastide

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ZombieKitten said:

Lammastide said:


Believe me, no one is throwing up food because it's a fun, cute thing to do. It's a very real clinical disorder, and sufferers deserve as much support as, say, someone with a physical ailment.


I saw a documentary that actually proved that starvation severely affects brain function. Once they are that malnourished intervention is needed, they can't help themselves sad

Yeah, it's an awful cycle! The psychological disposition perpetuates behaviors that, in turn, can trigger a full-out syndrome with both physiological and psychological problems. Those problems then further the behavior disbelief
Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #21 posted 09/09/07 5:33pm

ZombieKitten

Lammastide said:

ZombieKitten said:



I saw a documentary that actually proved that starvation severely affects brain function. Once they are that malnourished intervention is needed, they can't help themselves sad

Yeah, it's an awful cycle! The psychological disposition perpetuates behaviors that, in turn, can trigger a full-out syndrome with both physiological and psychological problems. Those problems then further the behavior disbelief


in the documentary, (which was swedish) they trialled a method that took advantage of the way the mind would work AFTER being malnourished for so long, they had a bowl with an inbuilt scale. The patients in the trial beat the scale, by eating all the food in the bowl. eek . After they became normal in weight again they would think normally again. I wonder if they are using this method in anorexia treatment yet?
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Reply #22 posted 09/09/07 5:37pm

JustErin

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ZombieKitten said:

Lammastide said:


Believe me, no one is throwing up food because it's a fun, cute thing to do. It's a very real clinical disorder, and sufferers deserve as much support as, say, someone with a physical ailment.


I saw a documentary that actually proved that starvation severely affects brain function. Once they are that malnourished intervention is needed, they can't help themselves sad


I starved myself and became anorexic in 96/97 - looking back at that time, I hardly remember a thing at all. Just bits and pieces. I was eventually saved by my mother who flew from the other side of the country and admitted me into the hospital because I could no longer stand up on my own. A week later I was forced to give up everything a move back home with my parents to try and get better.

People tell me things that I said and did and I seriously have no clue what they are talking about. Those memories are just not there.
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Reply #23 posted 09/09/07 5:39pm

ZombieKitten

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:



I saw a documentary that actually proved that starvation severely affects brain function. Once they are that malnourished intervention is needed, they can't help themselves sad


I starved myself and became anorexic in 96/97 - looking back at that time, I hardly remember a thing at all. Just bits and pieces. I was eventually saved by my mother who flew from the other side of the country and admitted me into the hospital because I could no longer stand up on my own. A week later I was forced to give up everything a move back home with my parents to try and get better.

People tell me things that I said and did and I seriously have no clue what they are talking about. Those memories are just not there.


omg I had no idea sad

that is really scary eek
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Reply #24 posted 09/09/07 5:40pm

JustErin

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ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:



I starved myself and became anorexic in 96/97 - looking back at that time, I hardly remember a thing at all. Just bits and pieces. I was eventually saved by my mother who flew from the other side of the country and admitted me into the hospital because I could no longer stand up on my own. A week later I was forced to give up everything a move back home with my parents to try and get better.

People tell me things that I said and did and I seriously have no clue what they are talking about. Those memories are just not there.


omg I had no idea sad

that is really scary eek


This is why I am the fucked up person that I am today. lol
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Reply #25 posted 09/09/07 5:44pm

ZombieKitten

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:



omg I had no idea sad

that is really scary eek


This is why I am the fucked up person that I am today. lol


wink must be!

it makes you wonder though, when your life takes a turn like that hmmm my sister is a totally different person now than before confused but I am sure that is more due to the drugs
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Reply #26 posted 09/09/07 5:44pm

rushing07

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JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:



omg I had no idea sad

that is really scary eek


This is why I am the fucked up person that I am today. lol


Jesus. Sorry to hear about that (the anorexia, not being a fuck up lol), Erin.
Come here hug
[Edited 9/9/07 17:45pm]
I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt.
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Reply #27 posted 09/09/07 5:50pm

JustErin

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rushing07 said:

JustErin said:



This is why I am the fucked up person that I am today. lol


Jesus. Sorry to hear about that (the anorexia, not being a fuck up lol), Erin.
Come here hug
[Edited 9/9/07 17:45pm]


Thanks.

Everyone has their issues. This is just one of mine.
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Reply #28 posted 09/09/07 5:50pm

CHIC0

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not sure what to say..but here's a hug. hug maybe seek professional help/counseling. go with her to support her. pray praying for the best.
be strong hun!
heart
LOVE
♪♫♪♫

♣¤═══¤۩۞۩ஜ۩ஜ۩۞۩¤═══¤♣
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Reply #29 posted 09/09/07 5:52pm

Lammastide

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ZombieKitten said:

Lammastide said:


Yeah, it's an awful cycle! The psychological disposition perpetuates behaviors that, in turn, can trigger a full-out syndrome with both physiological and psychological problems. Those problems then further the behavior disbelief


in the documentary, (which was swedish) they trialled a method that took advantage of the way the mind would work AFTER being malnourished for so long, they had a bowl with an inbuilt scale. The patients in the trial beat the scale, by eating all the food in the bowl. eek . After they became normal in weight again they would think normally again. I wonder if they are using this method in anorexia treatment yet?

I've not heard of that experiment. Sounds intriguing. I do know there are always many alternative approaches being attempted.

I wish people would take eating disorders seriously and not write off sufferers as shallow bitches trying to be thin and cute. That is total pop psychology BS. Anorexia with binging has arguably the highest mortality rate of any disorder in the entire Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and the onset of eating disorders almost always has much deeper correlating variables than just wanting to look like a cover girl.
Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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