I am a busy person...although I tend to screw off some free time here

I have a few aquaintences that call or hit me via email every week or two and guilt me cause I ain't spoke to them in weeks or don't respond.

THis one in particular be textin me all late, emailin bullshit...and just bullshit. I've called him on his obvious emailin and textin shit...I hate texting stupid shit back. besides how much time do you have in a day?

Yo, I'm so tired of friends that trip cause I hit up up in two weeks. Get off my nuts already. The only folk that get a daily call from me is my man. That's it. Other friends are in between and I damn sure don't call aquaintences like the way he hits me alllll the time.

shit....needy friends....i mean damn he makes me feel like i'm his lover or something...rediculous

Send them a text back sayin "hop off"

I am very thankful that I do not have any needy friends that bother me with stupid shit like that.

HA HA!

I know why he hits me all the time. He's one of those dudes that always got a hustle, artist, music, whatever.

But I swear, the art of promotion and selling is to let a sister breathe! SHit.

He wouldn't be on my nuts so hard if I didn't work where I worked or knew who I knew. That's what really gets on my nerves, I guess

JustErin said:

Count your blessings

i'm the same way as you are but good friends just accomodate your madness.


My friends don't expect a bunch of communication from me but I do text alot :box:

I have an acquaintance like that. Whenever he starts whining, I remind him that we all deal with issues during the course of the week that demand our time and attention.

It usually curtails his whining... for a bit.

There are friends I talk to every single day. I don't think it's needy at all. We're just close. Maybe he thinks you're closer than you think you are.

I think I hurt his feelings. I emailed him back,

"do you need me to be swinging on your nuts or something? Let me know how much attention I need to pay to you, shit."

I guess I was a little hard on him. But every other day I get a text, email, and if I don't get back soon enough I get this. And we ain't even tight.

I think I won't hear from him for a while...

KatSkrizzle said:

KatSkrizzle said:

you think you're too nice sometimes?

id say let ppl impose sometimes when i know i shouldnt.

unless they got weed!



















j/k
4realz

It's always a difficult situation to be in... sometimes you can be TOO nice; I know, in the past, I have accommodated other people's bullshit LONG after its' sell-by date just because I was being their friend. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind.

I have one friend, in particular, who is being a complete drain on everyone's time/energy/sanity at the moment; and I live with her, too, which makes it ten times' harder. Don't get me wrong, I love this girl with all my heart - I have known her so long, she is like a sister to me - but her behaviour is so incredibly selfish at the moment, it has driven away a few people and is starting to affect our relationship. Hence me moving to a new house soon. Anyway, she is under the impression that if you are friends/family with someone, you will do ANYTHING for them. Bullshit. I will walk over hot coals for my mates but when you have to start compromising your own happiness... nu-uh. There are limits.

Sometimes - not in a nasty or cruel way - you have to put yourself first.

I had a really needy friend who behaved creepily like a jealous partner. If I didnt do as he wanted then he used to be horrible to me. I remember once that Id been football training one night and couldnt see him that evening just to hang out. The next day he wouldnt talk to me and got my other friend to be horrible to me also which resulted in me walking our school sponsored walk on my own.
[Edited 9/1/07 3:27am]

It can go either way with me. I go through phases where I have daily contact with a very very select few friends of mine. Sometimes its idle chit chat, sometimes it's in reference to topics on a deeper level of communication. Sometimes its for nothing other than sending a black message with an mp3 attachment or one of a creative project we're working on for work or our personal archives. Sometimes it's just links to things one or the other could use for their art notes for future inspiration/projects My closest friends and I definitely feed off of each other's artistic energy very heavily, we just seem to know and support each other very very intensely like that. But it also ebbs and flows. Often I can go for weeks, months, even years not communicating with some of my best friends on earth. But hell, as long as neither of us is dead I guess we figure we'll hit each other up whenever we get around to it, and ESPECIALLY when we're working on cool stuff we're happy with or might find something that the other can be interested in. Ultimately, this really only applies the those who are in my innermost, most trusted circle. I'm probably a lot more distant or aloof with people that I don't know that intimately. The former are the type of longtime friends that fo example, call you when you've just been thinking about them, or I wake up in the middle of the night at the EXACT moment they've sent me an email. Our connection is more along those lines
[Edited 9/1/07 4:25am]

I like to have a lot of alone time, and I have one friend in particular this really bothers. If I go more than a few days without calling her, she gets pissed off, and if she's the one that has to call me too many times in a row, she causes a stink about it. Of course, she calls me so incessantly most of the time that she usually beats me to any opportunity I could have to call her first.

When I tell her that, she just says "That seems like a pretty lame excuse to me."

I had a pretty big thing for her once upon a time, but now I'm really, really glad we never dated.

See? I think that movie Cable Guy has some truth to it. FUNNY!

My friend just likes to keep all contact with me cause what I may have possibility to do for him. I can read that all over him.

Hobbes, you friend sounds like my needy friend. If I didn't call him bak in a few days, he's all like "where is the love?". My response is, that love goes to my man each day. I think he's a little salty about that.

I mean how can you expact all this fabulousness be single?

Thank God for copy and paste!

One thing I meant to add, before I got called away from the Org...

Of course, in the past, I have definitely been that needy friend on occasions. Not recently - not by a long shot - but there have been instances in my life where I've been the person pissing other people off with my insecurities and lack of self-esteem (which resulted in said neediness). I'm not going to lie and act as if that has never happened. I think a LOT of people have been that way, at some point in their life. When you're in that situation, sometimes you're not even aware of it; plus, it's a vicious circle - it goes round and round and round. But you grow up, take account of other people's feelings, grow a backbone, stand on your own two feet... Having been through it myself, I understand it but I certainly will not encourage it in others.

I feel you. I have one friend that I talk to daily but all others I have no time for that clingy crap. and that texting shit is time consuming and high school I dont even use it. How about those TOXIC PEOPLE. I cut them out too.

I know exactly how you feel. As a matter of fact, I have a new, soon to be ex-friend, coming over tomorrow at noon to check out my new crib, but I let her know I need my stuff back that is at her house and that she can have her book back.

I guess she got the message because she stopped emailing and calling me with her bullshit.

Ahhhh.... the joy of letting people go and keeping life simple, joyful and peaceful.

It's your life. Anyone who does not treat you with the same respect, understanding and non judgement your best friends and parents treat you is waisting their time and need to go back to where you found them.

I look at my life as a circle in which I ALLOW people. I love meeting new friends and I meet quite a lot of new people since I moved into the city, but that does not mean everyone can stay and it certainly doesn't mean they are immediately entitled to claim time, energy or actions according to their expectations, most often due to a lack of something like drive, a set of their own friends or whatever they seem to be depending on.

Depend on yourself and enjoy your comfortzone with people who do love you for who you are and who appreciate any energy you can muster at the time.

Good luck and good riddance!

all of this helped me to not feel bad for being a sarcastic patronizing biatch back to him.

Good discussion, people!

Al I can think of now is jim carrey going "Cable Guy!!!"

You have to train people. Be in touch w/ him as much as you feel the need & just don't tolerate any yappin' from him about why you haven't been in touch. He'll have to get the point if he has any kind of brain (you'd hope!).

It's difficult to tell someone straight up sometimes (although you had no problem doing so, LOL!!), I have a friend who hits me up more than I'd like. I just boycott until I'm ready to talk & I don't entertain complaints - she knows the routine now, still gets in touch too much but knows not to be in my ear about hitting her back

HobbesLeCute said:

shit sounds like you have been dating or at least she thinks you are thats kinda crazy
[Edited 9/1/07 9:44am]

Rhondab said:

thats me

For people that think they have needy friends, do those people a favor and cut them loose.

needy is relative.

a friend in particular of mine was like that. she thought i didn't care about her because i didn't call her much or hang out with her as much as we used to. we had been friends since the 5th grade. i had to sit her down and let her know that i still cared but I just didn't have the time. i have kids, i was working and going to school and at the end of the day I only had time for my family-my man and my kids come first as it should be. but in the end everything was cool, all of us old friends got together for her wedding and we had a blast at her bridal shower i do miss the hangin out...