i used to need tons of personal space, even with friends, but i noticed a little while ago i'm more relaxed with that now. strangers still get the 'fuck off and die' glare if they get too close though.

evenstar3 said:

I am exactly the same.

I think it comes from growing up myself, mainly; even though I had a brother and sister, I didn't hang out with them, certainly not in my teens. Very similar to what Anx said. And I totally relate to what Lammastide said - a while back, one of my mates went to touch me and I literally froze. I didn't intend to - it's not something I ever noticed before - but it stopped me in my tracks. Where does that come from?? Fear of being harmed? Ridiculous.

And I did used to have a *lot* of 'Alun time' years ago. My friends would joke about it and it was almost expected of me. They respected it, and understood my need for space, even if they if they didn't relate to it themselves. But that period feels like a lifetime ago now... I certainly don't feel like that now.

onenitealone said:

my best friend is VERY touchy-feely, so over the years i've known her she's always joked about me and my space needs. i haven't tested it fully, but i didn't feel bothered lying around in a pile together with my sister and a friend a few weeks ago when normally i would've told them to get away from me. it was really surprising to me when i realized it

evenstar3 said:

I think part of it is shyness, part of it is a need for privacy, part of it is just being comfortable in your own skin. If that makes sense. You become less self-conscious of others around you...

But how it doesn't cross other peoples' minds when they're being too intrusive or in-your-face... Home training time.

onenitealone said:

makes complete sense to me.

some people are totally oblivious to it, i guess. the worst to me is when someone will come in a classroom and sit near me when i've obviously tried to sit AWAY from everyone else. then the whole lecture i can hear them breathing, making noise or whatever and it just drives me crazy

evenstar3 said:

stop flirting with Alun.

He's mine!




Just how many boys across the pond are you trying to claim!

Imago said:

at least two or three.

Imago said:

Ignore him Laurel - crazy fool.



I think Laurel is already spoken for, don't worry. But, damn, that WOULD be an honour.

onenitealone said:

likewise!

I just need personal space if the person is hygenically challenged. Everyone else it's all good but nothing innapropriate.

I will confess: if they're of a sexy nature, all sense and logic does seem to go out of the window.

I sat next to this hot (presumably straight) guy on a bus, once, and for about three hours, his leg kept resting on mine. At first, I was like: . I'd move my leg and - whaddya know? - his would be leaning next to mine again. I was, like, 'Give me a break!'. After a while, I just left my leg there and we sat in silence, the entire journey, not saying anything. Our legs resting against each other.

God, the THOUGHTS I had going through my head... It was weirdsexy.


.
[Edited 8/30/07 15:33pm]

evenstar3 said:

My personal space is large and I get really annoyed when most ppl invade it.
I am very selective about who I let in.

Imago said:

what? alun's hot.

evenstar3 said:

Shhhh, Laurel.

Thank you, though. Pity half the men round here don't think it.

Anxiety said:

imported!

I like a fair amount, like most Americans, but I'm only a little uncomfortable with one person standing too close.

The very worst is when I'm in a crowded place and people are pushing past me from every direction, so I can't simply stand in one place.

That's when the panic and murderous feelings set in...

NDRU said:

and if the other person is hot it doesn't matter at all

ZombieKitten said:

Actually the hotter they are the more nervous I get But I don't mind!

NDRU said:

I am just kidding

but you know there are occasionally people, and I mean complete strangers, who don't violate the personal space by standing too close, they simply share it. It is strange phenomenon, male or female, hot or not, some people don't exude creepiness, or even ANYTHING - they could be there 2cm away and it doesn't bother me.

I wonder if that is just me, or if others notice that.

ZombieKitten said:

its not just you. i'm not really knowledgeable about the many different kinds of spirituality but i think it may have something to do with a person's aura or something i feel it mostly with kids and my current boyfriend when i first met him. but usually i cant stand for people to be all up in my face, breathin down my neck or even staring at me for that matter

heybaby said:

I think you are right it is like that. Yes little kids for sure, they can climb all over me and I feel no discomfort. With some people it's like you just click, or (I hate to say this hippy that I am NOT!) harmony, between that person and myself.

onenitealone said:

That is like really hot!!!

Tons.

A whole bunch! I have a reputation for being in the middle of things and approximately 4 times a year that is true.... but the rest of my life has been absolute solitude... more so then is probably healthy really.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

If I'm honest with myself I've been leaning more towards lonliness than solitude lately.
Solitude is positive, productive, creative, reflective, introspective, etc.
Lonely is just plain lonely.
I've always been an introvert who needs mass amounts of alone time, but I'm thinking I really need to swing back the other way for a bit and I'm not sure I know how to anymore...


"There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your hed against the wall." - Colette

If I can shoot them an elbow to the temple, they are too close.

Privacy is very important to me.

Only certain people are privy to certain things.

CarrieMpls said:

Indeed, now you know that is true of me too! VERY.... for the longest I took a well needed sabbatical and it has turned on me in recent time.. I need to once again find the balance.... I think it is shocking to those that aren't as close to me as you and Dan, that I am rather to myself often. When I am on stage I am and when I am off I AM!

Odd to be an extreme extrovert that needs gigantic amounts of solitude. ( Runs in my blood however... My father and my aunt who are brilliant are like this. I feared being anything like them... my brother and sister report the same nature.... makes it a bit hard to pair off when people expect one thing and find another.

Spookymuffin said:

Spooky, that doesn't work in G.B.! Gun laws are restrictive. Don't they have to be checked in with the local police unless you're Royalty with an estate?? and do fox hunting? Honestly . We've had guests from Britain and they love Arizona and hunting here.